Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with one clear topic sentence naming a single favourite or a short list, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetitions and filler words. Use linking words (for example, “and,” “also,” “for example”) correctly and check grammar (e.g., “I like desserts too,” not “and in and I like”).

例: I enjoy non-vegetarian dishes, especially mutton-based recipes. For example, my favourites are mutton biryani and korma because the spices and slow cooking make the meat very tender. I also love desserts such as sheer korma and gulab jamun.

提案: Improve tense consistency and reduce hesitations. Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then contrast with the present using a linking word like “but” or “however.” Give one specific reason for the change. Avoid repeating phrases.

例: When I was young, I ate a lot of paneer because my family cooked it often. However, as I grew up I developed a preference for non-vegetarian food, especially mutton dishes, because I enjoy their richer flavours.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. Start with a short direct response (Yes/No) then explain with one or two specific seasonal examples. Use clearer linking (e.g., “in winter,” “for example”) and avoid contradictions like “No, yes, definitely.”

例: Yes, I do eat different foods at different times of the year. For example, in winter I prefer goat leg dishes because they are rich in flavour and feel warming, while in summer I tend to eat lighter meals like salads or grilled chicken.

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition. Use a clear topic sentence: state whether it has changed, then give a specific reason and one example. Correct grammar: “my taste has changed” not “has been changed.”

例: Yes, my favourite food has changed. As a child I preferred paneer dishes because they were common at home, but now I prefer mutton and chicken because I enjoy stronger flavours and different cooking styles.

× My favorite food is non vegetarian.

✓ My favorite food is non-vegetarian.

The phrase needs a hyphen and functions as an adjective modifying 'food' — treated as a compound adjective (article error/word form). Use 'non-vegetarian' as the correct adjective form.

× I love to eat mutton, korma, mutton biryani and in and I like desserts also.

✓ I love to eat mutton, korma and mutton biryani, and I also like desserts.

Original sentence has extra 'in' and awkward ordering. Remove the stray word 'in', place commas correctly, and move 'also' before 'like' for natural word order.

× My favorite dessert is sheer korma, gulab jamun and malpua.

✓ My favorite desserts are sheer korma, gulab jamun and malpua.

The subject 'dessert' is plural in the list that follows. Use plural 'desserts' and plural verb 'are' to agree with multiple items.

× When I was young, I like uh, I used to eat paneer very much, uh, but as I uh, grow up, uh, paneer is uh, not my favorite dish because I like more non vegetarian food right now, especially mutton dishes and made by mutton are my favorite.

✓ When I was young, I liked, I used to eat paneer a lot, but as I grew up, paneer became not my favorite dish because I like non-vegetarian food more now, especially mutton dishes, and dishes made with mutton are my favorite.

Tense consistency errors: talking about past requires past tense ('liked', 'grew up', 'became'). Also 'made by mutton' is incorrect; use 'made with mutton'. Reorder 'non-vegetarian food more now' to 'like non-vegetarian food more now' for clarity.

× No, yes, definitely. But most of the time I uh, I like to eat non vegetarian food but during winters I like to eat the leg of goats which is very rich in flavour and they provide warmth also from inside during the winter season.

✓ Yes, definitely. Most of the time I like to eat non-vegetarian food, but during winter I like to eat goat's leg, which is very rich in flavor and provides warmth from the inside during the winter season.

Confusing 'No, yes' removed. Use singular 'goat's leg' or 'goat legs' rather than 'leg of goats'. Pronoun agreement: 'they provide' should agree with singular 'goat's leg' so use 'provides'. Also 'winter' is more natural than 'winters' in this context, and 'flavour' spelled 'flavor' depending on variety; keep consistent.

× Yes, I, as I mentioned, uh, that in when I was a kid, I used to eat paneer, but as I grew up, my favorite dishes, most of them are made-up of mutton or chicken. So definitely my taste has been changed a lot.

✓ Yes, as I mentioned, when I was a kid I used to eat paneer, but as I grew up most of my favorite dishes were made of mutton or chicken. So my taste has definitely changed a lot.

Maintain correct tense and word forms: remove extra 'that' and 'in', use past 'were made' for referring to how favorites are composed, and use 'changed' (not 'has been changed') for natural active voice. Also remove unnecessary commas and 'made-up of' should be 'made of' or 'made with'.