Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: begin with a topic sentence naming the dish, then add 1–2 specific supporting details (flavour, ingredients, or why you like it). Avoid repetition and irrelevant words. Use correct phrase: “dal bhat” and avoid saying “fruits” if you mean dishes. Keep it to 1–3 sentences.

例: My favourite food is dal bhat, a traditional Nepali dish made of lentil soup and steamed rice. I like it because it is nutritious, filling and commonly served with pickles and vegetables, which gives it a lot of flavour.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence about childhood preferences, then give specific examples and a brief reason. Remove hesitations and irrelevant names. Use linking words like “for example” or “but” to connect ideas. Keep to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: When I was young I enjoyed eating fast food, such as instant noodles, fried snacks and biscuits. However, I avoided it later because I realised it was unhealthy and preferred home-cooked meals instead.

提案: Answer directly about seasonal or situational changes. Use one clear sentence about when you eat different foods, then one sentence with specific examples and a reason. Avoid vague phrases and repetition. Use linking words like “when” and “because.”

例: Yes. When we go on long drives or outings I usually eat fast food like burgers or fries, but at home I eat cooked meals such as rice, lentils and vegetables because they keep me healthier and more energetic.

提案: Provide a clear comparison: state whether it changed, explain how with a specific example, and give a reason. Avoid irrelevant or incorrect words (e.g. “toilet”) and hesitations. Use linking words like “when” and “nowadays.” Keep it to 2 sentences.

例: Yes, my favourite food has changed. When I was a child I often preferred fast food like fried snacks, but nowadays I prefer home-cooked dishes such as dal bhat because I care more about health.

× My favorite food is Dal and bath which is the Nepali dishes and it is very healthy as well as with are very common in our Nepali Nepali food.

✓ My favorite food is dal bhat, which is a Nepali dish and is very healthy and common in Nepal.

The original sentence has incorrect adjective/adverb usage and word choice ('Dal and bath', 'the Nepali dishes', 'with are very common', repeated 'Nepali'). Correct the noun phrase 'dal bhat' and use singular 'a Nepali dish'. Remove extra words and repetition. Use 'is' to link adjectives correctly and 'common in Nepal' for clarity. Suggestion: simplify noun phrases and avoid redundant words.

× So I like these types of fruits.

✓ So I like these types of foods.

The student referred back to dishes but used 'fruits', which is an incorrect pronoun/reference and noun choice. The correct reference is 'foods' or 'dishes'. Ensure pronouns/nouns match the intended referent.

× Hi, Amanda Young at this time.

✓ When I was young, I liked different kinds of fast food.

The original fragment 'Hi, Amanda Young at this time' is ungrammatical and unclear. It seems the student intended to say 'When I was young'. Rephrase into a complete sentence with correct tense and subject to match the question about childhood.

× I like different types of fast food such as, uh, sour sauce, uh, sauce is uh, the noodles, uh, biscuits, et cetera.

✓ I liked different types of fast food such as noodles, biscuits, and various sauces.

The original sentence contains filler words and awkward adjective usage ('sour sauce, sauce is'). Remove fillers, list items clearly, and match past tense 'liked' to 'When I was young'. Use parallel structure in lists.

× But it is not, uh, good for our health.

✓ But they are not good for our health.

Refers to plural 'fast foods' so use plural verb 'are' and plural pronoun 'they'. Also match to general present truth: 'they are not good for our health'.

× So I don't prefer to eat, uh, different types of, uh, fast food, uh, on my side.

✓ So I prefer not to eat different types of fast food.

The original uses awkward negative placement 'don't prefer to eat ... on my side'. Use the standard negative preference structure 'prefer not to' and remove unnecessary phrases.

× Yeah, in my situation, if there is a we can go in the long drive at this time we use the fast food, but in our home we use the cooked food as well as as well as the cooked food.

✓ Yes. In my case, if we go on a long drive, we eat fast food, but at home we eat cooked meals.

Original sentence has extra words, repetition ('as well as as well as the cooked food') and incorrect prepositions ('go in the long drive'). Use 'in my case' or 'for me', 'go on a long drive', and 'eat cooked meals' for clarity and correct prepositions. Remove redundancy.

× Help me our body healthy and fit.

✓ They help keep our bodies healthy and fit.

Subject is plural ('foods' or 'cooked meals'), so use plural verb 'help' and 'keep' with plural noun 'bodies'. Correct verb agreement and add 'keep' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, uh, uh, when I'm in toilet this time, I usually, uh, use the, I usually eat, uh, the fast food, but uh, but nowadays I know that fast food is bad for our health.

✓ When I was a child, I usually ate fast food, but now I know that fast food is bad for our health.

The original mixes tenses and has wrong time expressions ('when I'm in toilet this time'). Use past tense 'was' and 'ate' to describe childhood habits, and 'now' or 'nowadays' with present tense 'know'. Also remove filler words and correct time phrase to 'when I was a child'.

× So, so the favorite food will be change.

✓ So my favorite food has changed.

The student used future tense 'will be change' incorrectly. The meaning is that the preference has already changed, so use present perfect 'has changed'. Also 'favorite food' should be preceded by 'my' and 'change' should be in participle form 'changed'.