Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, avoid repetition and filler words, and use a clear structure: topic sentence + 1–2 supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct small grammar errors (e.g., 'contains' not 'content'). Mention specific ingredients and one reason why you like burgers (e.g., taste, convenience, or nutrition).

例: I like burgers because they combine savory meat, fresh vegetables, and flavorful sauces in one convenient meal. For example, a burger with grilled beef, lettuce, tomato, and a light sauce tastes satisfying and provides protein and some vitamins from the vegetables.

提案: Use correct tense and grammar (e.g., 'When I was young'), avoid fillers, and finish your idea. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then explain why you liked sweets and why you avoid them now, using linking words like 'but' or 'however'. Provide a specific consequence of eating too much sugar.

例: When I was young, I loved sweet foods such as chocolate and donuts because they were tasty and easy to find. However, now I avoid them because they contain a lot of sugar, which can cause weight gain and tooth problems.

提案: Answer directly with a natural phrase (e.g., 'No, I usually eat the same foods year-round'), avoid repetition, and use a brief reason with linking words. Correct grammar issues and provide one specific example of food eaten all year.

例: No, I usually eat the same foods throughout the year because Malaysia has a consistent climate. For example, I often eat rice-based dishes and fried chicken all year round.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence ('Yes, it has changed'), then explain what it was and what it is now using linking words like 'now' or 'so'. Avoid fillers and repeat key words once. Give a specific reason for the change and an example of a current favourite dish.

例: Yes, my favourite food has changed. As a child I preferred sweets like chocolate and candies, but now I prefer savory dishes such as burgers and pizza because I no longer enjoy very sweet flavours. For example, I now choose grilled chicken burgers over chocolate bars.

× When I were young I used to like some sweet foods like chocolate sweet and more sweet tooth, uh Donuts also.

✓ When I was young I used to like sweet foods like chocolate, donuts, and other sweets.

The subject 'I' requires the past tense form 'was' (singular), not 'were'. Also simplify redundant phrases ('chocolate sweet and more sweet tooth') and use correct nouns and punctuation. Suggestion: use 'was' for first-person singular past and list items with commas.

× My favorite food is burger because it contains bread, uh, vegetables, meat and some sauce, which make the burger flavors more attractive More more more more attractive yeah and it's also content the nutrients that we should have like vitamins from vegetables and the the.

✓ My favorite food is a burger because it contains bread, vegetables, meat, and sauce, which make the burger's flavors more attractive, and it also contains the nutrients we need, like vitamins from vegetables.

Issues include missing article ('a burger'), incorrect verb forms ('make' agrees with plural 'bread, vegetables, meat, and sauce' so 'make' is correct), incorrect verb 'content' instead of 'contains', and missing possessive 'burger's'. The sentence used fragments and repetitions. Suggestions: add articles, use 'contains' for 'has', use possessive with 'burger's', and combine clauses with conjunctions for clarity.

× But now I realize that those foods are so unhealthy because they contest a lot of sugar in it.

✓ But now I realize that those foods are unhealthy because they contain a lot of sugar.

The verb 'contest' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'contain'. Also 'a lot of sugar in it' is ungrammatical; use 'contain a lot of sugar' and avoid redundant 'so'. Suggestion: choose correct verb 'contain' and place quantifier before the noun.

× It would cause back effect to my.

✓ They would have harmful effects on my health.

The original is incomplete and unidiomatic ('back effect to my'). Use a complete noun phrase 'harmful effects on my health' and match plurality. Suggestion: complete the object and use conventional collocations like 'have an effect on' or 'harmful effects on'.

× So we didn't change our food habits our our eating habits in one year.

✓ So we don't change our food habits in a year.

Tense inconsistency: question asks about different times of the year (general habit), so simple present 'don't change' is appropriate rather than past 'didn't'. Also remove duplicate words. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual actions and avoid repetition.

× Nope, I eat the same foods at different times of the year because in Malaysia we are every every times the season are same in one year.

✓ No, I eat the same foods at different times of the year because in Malaysia the seasons are the same throughout the year.

Problems: informal 'Nope' -> 'No', redundancy 'every every times', and incorrect sentence structure 'we are every every times the season are same'. Use 'the seasons are the same throughout the year' to express meaning. Suggestion: use clearer phrasing and correct subject-verb agreement 'seasons are'.

× So we eat all the same foods in one year.

✓ So we eat the same foods all year round.

Word order and idiomatic expression: 'in one year' is less natural than 'all year round' for habitual annual behavior. Suggestion: use common collocation 'all year round'.

× Yes, I change my favorite food from sweet tooth like chocolate, umm, Donuts, sweets, candies to some savory foods like burgers, pizzas, umm and fried chicken and soup because I tend to not like the the sugar.

✓ Yes, my favorite foods changed from sweet things like chocolate, donuts, and candies to savory foods like burgers, pizza, fried chicken, and soup because I tend not to like sugar anymore.

Tense and word choice errors: use past tense 'changed' for a change since childhood. 'Change my favorite food' should be 'my favorite foods changed'. 'Sweet tooth' is a noun meaning tendency; use 'sweet things'. Remove duplicate 'the the' and use 'tend not to like sugar' or 'no longer like sugar'. Suggestion: use past tense for past change and cleaner item lists.