Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid small inaccuracies (plural/singular), and add one specific sensory detail or reason using a linking word. Keep to 3–4 sentences and vary vocabulary.

例: I love pho, a famous Vietnamese noodle soup. It consists of flat rice noodles, thinly sliced beef and a fragrant, slow-simmered broth. Because of its complex flavors and the fresh herbs served with it, pho always feels comforting and satisfying.

提案: Correct grammar and reduce hesitations: use past tense for childhood, avoid filler words, and give a clear topic sentence plus two specific details connected by linking words. Use accurate vocabulary (e.g., ‘bun bo’ not ‘bun boy’).

例: When I was young, I loved eating bun bo, a spicy beef noodle dish. The spicy broth and soft rice noodles made it my favorite, and additionally the chewy beef added great texture. Even now, I still enjoy it because it reminds me of home.

提案: Make sentences more grammatical and use linking words: begin with a clear topic sentence, use linking words such as ‘for example’ and ‘however’, and provide specific examples (types of vegetables, name of hot pot). Keep sentences within 3–4 and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, seasonal changes affect what I eat. For example, in summer I prefer light, fresh salads and raw vegetables such as cucumber and lettuce. However, in winter I often eat hot pot with beef and mushrooms because it is warming and social.

提案: Clarify meaning and correct vocabulary: answer directly with a topic sentence using correct tense and words (e.g., ‘taste’ not ‘test’, and avoid ‘football way’). Use one specific reason and a linking word to explain. Keep it concise and fluent.

例: No, my favourite food has not changed much since childhood. As I mentioned, I still enjoy bun bo because its flavours remind me of family meals, and therefore I continue to eat it regularly.

× It's made of noodle, sliced beef and broth.

✓ It's made of noodles, sliced beef, and broth.

The noun 'noodle' here refers to the general countable food item and should be plural 'noodles'. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity. Use plural when referring to the food in general.

× The process has such a deep layer of flavor.

✓ The dish has such a deep layer of flavor.

'Process' refers to how something is made; the speaker likely means 'dish' (the food) has deep flavor. This fixes the noun choice rather than grammar category, improving meaning. Keep 'layer of flavor' which is acceptable.

× When I was young, I love eating umm, bun boy.

✓ When I was young, I loved eating umm, bun bo.

The time phrase 'when I was young' locates the action in the past, so the verb should be past tense 'loved' not present 'love'. Also corrected the dish name 'bun bo' for accuracy.

× I love the spiciness, umm, the soft of the noodle, the chewy of the meat.

✓ I loved the spiciness, umm, the softness of the noodles, and the chewiness of the meat.

Maintain past tense 'loved' to match 'when I was young'. Use correct noun forms 'softness' and 'chewiness' (nominalized adjectives) and plural 'noodles'. Include 'and' before the final item for parallel structure.

× And also when I grow up, I love, still love Bunbury.

✓ And also, when I grew up, I still loved bun bo.

The clause 'when I grew up' refers to the past relative to now, so use past tense 'grew up' and 'loved' to keep tense consistent. Also corrected dish name to 'bun bo' and simplified word order.

× But.

✓ But I still enjoy it now.

A single conjunction 'But.' is a sentence fragment (no verb or object). Provide a complete sentence to express contrast: include a subject and verb to complete the thought.

× For example, summer I would like to eat something really fresh and especially vegetable.

✓ For example, in summer I like to eat something really fresh, especially vegetables.

Add preposition 'in' for 'in summer' and change 'would like' to 'like' for habitual preference. 'Vegetable' should be plural 'vegetables' and reorder 'especially' for natural placement.

× Otherwise I love to have a hot pot on such a cold day in week.

✓ Otherwise I love to have a hot pot on a cold day in winter.

Original phrase 'in week' is incorrect; likely meant 'in winter' or 'in the week'. Added article 'a cold day' and corrected time phrase to 'in winter' to make sense with cold days.

× Well, as I mentioned above, my test did not change so much over time.

✓ Well, as I mentioned above, my taste has not changed much over time.

'Test' is incorrect word choice; context requires 'taste'. Use present perfect 'has not changed' for change over time up to now. 'So much' can be simplified to 'much'.

× I still still love football way and it reminds me of my childhood and I keep loving them.

✓ I still love pho; it reminds me of my childhood and I still enjoy it.

Correct repeated 'still still' and wrong item 'football way' to 'pho'. Use singular pronoun 'it' for 'pho' and simplify tense: present simple 'still love' and 'reminds' are appropriate; 'keep loving them' is unnatural—use 'still enjoy it'.