Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (why you like it, a sensory detail or a brief example). Avoid grandiose claims like “huge talent” which can sound unnatural in this context.

例: I love lasagna — it’s been my favourite since childhood. I especially enjoy the rich tomato sauce and melted cheese, and I make it myself using a family recipe that includes fresh basil and slow-cooked meat sauce.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and a coherent short explanation. Avoid fillers and incomplete sentences. Give one specific example of a childhood favourite and one brief reason or memory to support it, using linking words like “because” or “so”.

例: When I was young, I liked fast food, especially hamburgers and fries, because they were tasty and convenient. However, my mother rarely let me eat them, so I remember begging her to buy them as a treat.

提案: Answer directly and then give a specific supporting detail. Reduce hesitations (“uh”, “umm”). If you claim you eat similarly year-round, briefly explain with an example of typical healthy foods you eat in different seasons or how your routine supports that choice.

例: Not really — I tend to eat similar healthy foods all year because I exercise regularly. For example, I often have salads and grilled chicken in summer and hearty soups with vegetables in winter, so my diet stays balanced.

提案: Give a clear yes/no answer and then explain concisely. Avoid repetition and hesitations. If your recipe evolved, describe one specific change you made and why, using a linking word like “however” or “but”.

例: No, my favourite food is still lasagna. However, I have changed the recipe slightly over the years — for instance, I now add spinach and ricotta for extra flavour and nutrition.

× It has been my favorite food since childhood and I have a huge talent in making lasagna and I have my unique recipe for it.

✓ It has been my favorite food since childhood, and I have a great talent for making lasagna and a unique recipe for it.

Use 'talent for making' (correct preposition with 'talent') and simplify repetition. 'Huge talent in making' is unnatural; 'great' is more natural. Also join clauses with a comma and use 'a unique recipe' for fluency.

× Well, when I was young, I would say I used to eat junk food and fast food, you know, the, those were my favorite, but my mother, uh, wouldn't allow me to eat these foods and I used to cry, umm, and.

✓ Well, when I was young, I used to eat junk food and fast food; those were my favorites, but my mother wouldn't allow me to eat them and I used to cry.

Remove redundant 'I would say' and extra hesitations. Use plural 'favorites' to match 'junk food and fast food' (singular/plural consistency) and replace 'these foods' with pronoun 'them'. Also remove trailing 'and' and streamline the sentence; this fixes pronoun reference and plural agreement.

× Ah, well, I haven't thought about this, but I think no, uh, generally I prefer to eat healthy food because I work out regularly and it's really important for me to eat healthy and make healthy food for myself. Umm, overall I eat healthy.

✓ I haven't really thought about this, but generally I prefer to eat healthy food because I work out regularly, and it's important for me to eat healthily and prepare healthy meals for myself. Overall, I eat healthily.

Use adverb 'healthily' to modify verbs 'eat' and 'prepare' (correct use of adjective vs adverb). 'Make healthy food' is informal; 'prepare healthy meals' is clearer. Remove filler words and ensure consistent present tense.

× I would say no, as I said, my favorite uh, food since childhood has been umm, lasagna and recipes fixed. Uh, nothing changed, but I would say I changed it by myself, a little me to make my unique recipe for it.

✓ No, as I said, my favorite food since childhood has been lasagna and the recipe was fixed. Nothing changed, but I did modify it myself a little to create my unique version.

Correct past tense and passive/active forms: 'recipes fixed' is ungrammatical; use 'the recipe was fixed' or better 'the recipe remained the same'. Use 'did modify' for past action and 'create my unique version' for clarity. Remove awkward phrasing 'a little me' and ensure verb tense consistency.