Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity and grammar, remove redundancy, and use linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., 'a variety of vegetables', 'we usually prepare it with freshly harvested produce'), and avoid repeating phrases ('away with them from them'). Add one specific detail about taste or ingredients to enrich the answer.

例: My favourite dish is Ning Ding, a traditional meal from my province made with a variety of vegetables. Because my mother runs a farm, we usually prepare it with freshly harvested produce, which gives it a very fresh, earthy flavour. It always reminds me of home and family, especially when I'm away studying or working in the city.

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Begin directly with a topic sentence, then give specific examples and a brief reason or memory. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to make it coherent and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I loved eating fresh vegetables and fruits when I was young because my mother had a farm. For example, she grew okra, eggplant, dragon fruit and bananas, so I ate seasonal produce almost every day. That upbringing made me prefer healthy, simple meals even now.

提案: Clarify and correct vocabulary, use linking words and avoid minor errors. Start with a clear topic sentence about seasonal eating, then contrast summer and rainy-season choices with correct names (e.g., 'halo-halo') and a reason why you prefer them.

例: Yes. Living in the Philippines with two main seasons affects what I eat. In summer I prefer cool treats such as halo-halo or iced lemonades to beat the heat, whereas during the rainy season I often choose warm soups because they feel comforting and warming.

提案: Improve grammar and coherence, use a clear topic sentence and provide a specific reason or example for the change. Avoid vague phrasing ('always find sweet treats all the time') and correct verb forms. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, it has changed. As a child I often enjoyed sweet treats, but now as an adult I rarely eat them because they give me headaches if I have too much sugar. For example, I used to eat candy every day, but now I prefer fruits or plain snacks instead.

× My favorite dish is the Ning Ding.

✓ My favorite dish is Ning Ding.

Use of the definite article 'the' before a proper dish name is unnecessary unless the dish name normally takes an article. Removing 'the' makes the sentence sound natural.

× It's a traditional meal from my province made with variety of vegetables and because my mother has a farm we usually prepare eat freshly harvested.

✓ It's a traditional meal from my province made with a variety of vegetables, and because my mother has a farm we usually prepare and eat freshly harvested produce.

Missing article: 'a variety of' requires the article 'a'. 'Prepare eat' is incorrect word order and missing conjunction; add 'and' and include 'produce' to clarify the object. Also add a comma before the coordinating conjunction joining two independent clauses.

× It always reminds me of my family and home, especially whenever I'm away with them from them.

✓ It always reminds me of my family and home, especially whenever I'm away from them.

Redundant and incorrect prepositional phrase 'away with them from them'. The correct phrase is 'away from them'. Remove 'with them' to fix pronoun and preposition usage.

× What kind of food did you like when you were young?

✓ What kind of food did you like when you were young?

This question sentence is already correct. It uses past tense 'did you like' appropriately to ask about past preferences. No change needed.

× I really liked eating vegetables and fruits ever since I was a kid.

✓ I really liked eating vegetables and fruits when I was a kid.

Mixing 'liked' (past) with 'ever since' (which normally pairs with present perfect) is inconsistent. Use 'when I was a kid' to keep past reference consistent with 'liked'.

× And like what I've said earlier, my mother has a farm and she likes to plant different kinds of vegetables like okra, eggplant and so much more.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, my mother has a farm and she likes to plant different kinds of vegetables like okra and eggplant.

'Like what I've said earlier' is informal and slightly ungrammatical; 'As I mentioned earlier' is clearer. Also 'and so much more' is vague and unnecessary; omit for clarity. Use commas appropriately.

× And she also plants fruits like dragon fruit, banana and a lot more.

✓ She also grows fruits like dragon fruit and bananas.

Use 'grows' rather than 'plants' for fruits that develop over time. Use plural 'bananas' for general reference and replace 'a lot more' with nothing or a specific example to avoid vagueness.

× Yes because I live in the Philippines and it is a tropical country and we only have two seasons.

✓ Yes, because I live in the Philippines, which is a tropical country, we only have two seasons.

Run-on sentence needs commas and a relative clause 'which is a tropical country' to link ideas clearly. Add commas to separate clauses.

× Whenever it is summer I usually eat cool foods like Halo, Halo ice cream, lemonades like that and then on a rainy season I prefer to eat soups.

✓ Whenever it is summer I usually eat cool foods like halo-halo, halo-halo ice cream and lemonades, and during the rainy season I prefer to eat soups.

Use correct name casing and hyphenation for the Filipino dessert 'halo-halo'. Include articles: say 'during the rainy season' rather than 'on a rainy season'. Use commas to separate list items and clauses.

× Has your favourite food changed since you were a child?

✓ Has your favourite food changed since you were a child?

This question is correct: present perfect 'has changed' with 'since you were a child' is appropriate. No change needed.

× In my younger years, I always find sweet treats all the time, compared to now that I am already an adult, I can't tolerate more sweets anymore, so I tend to have headaches whenever I eat sweet treats a lot.

✓ In my younger years, I always ate sweet treats, but now that I am an adult I can't tolerate many sweets anymore, so I tend to get headaches if I eat a lot of sweet treats.

Tense inconsistency: 'always find' (present) should be past 'always ate' to match 'younger years'. 'Compared to now that I am already an adult' is awkward; use 'but now that I am an adult'. 'Can't tolerate more sweets anymore' is redundant; use 'can't tolerate many sweets anymore'. Use 'get headaches' rather than 'have headaches' in this context, and 'if I eat a lot of' sounds more natural.