Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence naming one or two favorite foods, then give one specific reason using a linking word (e.g., "because" or "as"). Also correct minor grammar ("traditional" not "traditional noodle") and remove repeated words.

例: My favourite foods are croissants and soba. I enjoy croissants for their flaky texture, and I like soba because I grew up eating it as a child, so it feels comforting.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and avoid filler and repetition. Use linking words (e.g., "also" or "especially") to add one or two specific examples and a short reason. Correct repetition and capitalize proper nouns consistently.

例: When I was young I especially liked sweet foods and curry with rice. I loved sweets such as candies and cakes, and I always enjoyed my mother’s curry because it was warm and full of flavour.

提案: Be specific and avoid hesitation. Start with a clear statement (yes/no) then give two concrete seasonal examples with linking words ("in summer... whereas in winter..."). Use correct names (e.g., 'nabemono' if you mean Japanese hot pot) instead of uncertain phrases like "or something."

例: Yes. In summer I prefer cold noodles such as chilled soba because they are refreshing, whereas in winter I eat more hot dishes like Japanese nabe (hot pot) to keep warm.

提案: Give a direct answer and one clear supporting detail. Avoid repetition and fillers. Use linking words ("because" or "so") to explain why and provide a specific example (e.g., 'fried potatoes' or 'salty snacks').

例: Not really — I've always liked potatoes. For example, I especially enjoy fried potatoes and other salty snacks because I appreciate their crunchy texture and savoury taste.

× My favorite food is croissant and I also like soba, which is Japanese traditional noodle because I used to eat eat soba when I was a child.

✓ My favorite food is a croissant, and I also like soba, which is a traditional Japanese noodle, because I used to eat soba when I was a child.

The noun 'croissant' is singular and needs the indefinite article 'a'. 'Traditional Japanese noodle' requires the article 'a' and the adjective order should be 'traditional Japanese' (adjective before noun). Also there is a repeated word 'eat' which must be removed. Use commas to separate clauses for clarity.

× I liked, uh, sweet foods and sweet food and also like Curry with rice and yeah, whatever my mother made made was my favorite.

✓ I liked sweet foods and also curry with rice; whatever my mother made was my favorite.

Redundant fragments and repetitions ('sweet foods and sweet food', 'made made') create sentence structure problems. Maintain consistent past tense 'liked' for all items. 'Curry' does not need to be capitalized. Use a semicolon or conjunction to connect related clauses and remove filler sounds for clarity.

× I think so, uh, during, during summer I eat uh, out of noodles and in winter I eat umm, more hot, hot meals like uh yeah, Japanese Navy or something.

✓ I think so. During summer I eat mostly cold noodles, and in winter I eat more hot meals, like Japanese nabe or something.

The original has awkward phrasing 'out of noodles' which is incorrect; likely meant 'cold noodles'. Replace with 'mostly cold noodles'. 'More hot, hot meals' is repetitive; use 'more hot meals'. 'Japanese Navy' is a mishearing of 'nabe' (a Japanese hot pot), so correct to 'nabe'. Keep present tense 'eat' consistent.

× Not really I always like potatoes and yeah especially I like fried potatoes and I also salty food.

✓ Not really. I have always liked potatoes, especially fried potatoes, and I have also liked salty foods.

The student mixes present simple 'always like' with the question asking about change since childhood; use present perfect 'have always liked' to indicate a continuing preference from past to present. 'I also salty food' lacks a verb; change to 'I have also liked salty foods' and pluralize 'foods' for general reference.

× I I also like salty foods since I was a kid yeah so just.

✓ I have also liked salty foods since I was a kid.

Combine repeated 'I I' and use present perfect 'have liked' to indicate a preference continuing from the past. The clause 'since I was a kid' requires a perfect tense. Remove filler words 'yeah so just' for a clear sentence.