Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, avoid fillers (uh, um), correct vocabulary ("food salad" unclear, "puts" incorrect), and provide a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific details. Use linking words to connect ideas and limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: My favourite foods are biryani and mutton dishes because I enjoy rich, spicy flavours. For example, at a buffet I usually choose biryani first, and when ordering from a menu I prefer mutton curry or roasted mutton because they taste hearty and satisfying.

提案: Good content but simplify sentences and fix grammar ("so much free time", "peel me fruits" → "peel fruit for me"). Avoid short fragmented sentences. Use linking words (because, so, since) and give one clear example.

例: As a child I loved fruits, especially musambi and jackfruit, because my grandparents often peeled fruit for me. Because they had plenty of time, they would prepare snacks every day, so eating those fruits became a happy childhood memory.

提案: Reduce disfluencies (uh), avoid repetition, and make sentences more precise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific example of seasonal food and when you eat it. Use a linking word like "for example" or "for instance."

例: Yes, I eat different foods throughout the year because seasonal produce is readily available in Coimbatore. For example, in summer I often eat mangoes and in winter I enjoy guavas, which makes each season’s food feel special.

提案: Clarify your meaning and correct grammar. Give a clear topic sentence about whether preferences changed, then explain why with specific reasons and one example. Avoid vague phrases like "changed very badly"; say how or why they changed.

例: My favourite foods have changed somewhat since childhood: I used to eat a lot of local seasonal fruits, but now I often eat more spicy meat dishes. For instance, I no longer get fresh jackfruit as often because I live in a city now, so my tastes shifted toward restaurant-style biryani and mutton.

× Whenever I go to a buffet, my eyes always go to the foods like uh, biryani and uh, food salad that, that kind of food attracts me a lot than other kind of food that's available.

✓ Whenever I go to a buffet, my eyes always go to foods like biryani and salad; that kind of food attracts me much more than other kinds of food available.

The student used 'the foods' and 'other kind of food' incorrectly; countable plural nouns should be 'foods' or simply 'food' and comparative phrasing should be 'much more than other kinds of food' for clarity and correct quantifier use. Also 'food salad' is incorrect collocation; 'salad' suffices. Suggestion: use plural nouns consistently and standard comparative structures (much more than/than other kinds).

× Whenever I see a menu card, I tend to always order, uh, puts like mutton and mutton spare parts.

✓ Whenever I see a menu, I tend to always order items like mutton and mutton spare parts.

The word 'puts' is not correct; context requires a noun such as 'items' or 'dishes'. 'Menu card' is redundant; 'menu' is standard. The present participle form error note: incorrect word form used where a noun is needed. Suggestion: use 'items' or 'dishes' when referring to choices on a menu and prefer 'menu' over 'menu card'.

× When I was young, I really liked the fruits very much because I had my grandparents to peel me fruits.

✓ When I was young, I really liked fruits because my grandparents used to peel them for me.

The original uses 'had my grandparents to peel me fruits' which is ungrammatical. The correct structure is 'my grandparents used to peel them for me' where 'them' refers to fruits. Suggestion: use 'used to' for habitual past actions and 'for me' to indicate beneficiary; replace 'the fruits' with 'fruits' for general reference.

× Mostly.

✓ Mostly, I did.

A fragment 'Mostly.' lacks clarity in context; it's preferable to attach it to a full clause 'Mostly, I did' or integrate into previous sentence. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments; provide a complete clause to express frequency or extent.

× I loved fruits like musambi and jackfruit because my grandparents had so many free time and they used to peel it and give it to me and I really enjoyed having it in my childhood.

✓ I loved fruits like musambi and jackfruit because my grandparents had a lot of free time; they used to peel the fruit and give it to me, and I really enjoyed eating it in my childhood.

Errors: 'so many free time' should be 'a lot of free time' (time is uncountable), 'peel it' should match plural/singular noun ('the fruit' or 'them'), and 'having it' is awkward for eating. Suggestion: use 'a lot of free time' for uncountable nouns, keep pronoun number consistent, and use 'eat' for consuming food.

× Yeah, I like seasonal foods because, uh, coming from a town like Coimbatore, I get easy access to seasonal, uh, foods mostly.

✓ Yes, I like seasonal foods because, coming from a town like Coimbatore, I have easy access to seasonal foods.

Use 'have' rather than 'get' to express ongoing access more naturally in present tense. Avoid redundant wording 'seasonal, uh, foods mostly'; place adverb appropriately. Suggestion: simplify repetition and use natural collocations: 'have easy access to seasonal foods.'

× I like fruits very much and I get to taste different kind of fruits in different seasons.

✓ I like fruits very much, and I get to taste different kinds of fruit in different seasons.

Use plural form 'different kinds of fruit' or 'different kinds of fruits' for variety. 'Different kind of fruits' is singular/plural mismatch. Suggestion: match 'different' with 'kinds' for plural variety.

× And I really enjoy having, uh, different seasons and different, uh, seasonal foods.

✓ And I really enjoy the different seasons and their seasonal foods.

Original is repetitive and awkward; 'enjoy having different seasons' is ungrammatical—people experience seasons rather than 'have' them. Suggestion: combine ideas succinctly: 'enjoy the different seasons and their seasonal foods.'

× During my childhood I had easy access to all the foods in my region and then I like and in recent days I feel so difficult without having those seasonal food that I tasted when I was young and I think the childhood preferences have changed very badly.

✓ During my childhood I had easy access to all the foods in my region, and later I liked them; recently I have found it difficult not to have those seasonal foods that I tasted when I was young, and I think childhood preferences have changed a lot.

Mixed and incorrect tenses: 'then I like' should be past 'I liked'; 'in recent days I feel so difficult' is unnatural—use 'recently I have found it difficult' or 'I find it difficult'. 'Those seasonal food' should be plural 'those seasonal foods'. 'Changed very badly' is unnatural; use 'changed a lot' or 'changed significantly'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent when describing past habits and use natural collocations for difficulty and change.