Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct the vocabulary errors, remove redundancy, and make the description coherent and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 concise supporting details using linking words (e.g., "because", "so"). Avoid repetition and incorrect words like "soap" and duplicated words.

例: My favourite food is coconut chicken, a traditional dish from Guangdong. It has tender chicken and a slightly sweet, creamy broth, so I often eat it on cold evenings because it comforts me when I’m tired.

提案: Use correct tense and link ideas clearly. Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give a brief reason or specific example. Avoid minor grammar slips and redundant phrases.

例: When I was young, I especially liked sweet foods such as candy, chocolate and cakes. For example, my family always served a special cake at my birthday, so sweets made celebrations feel memorable.

提案: Make sentences complete and grammatical, use linking words to compare seasons, and avoid fragmented phrases. Provide one clear example per season and connect ideas with "while" or "because". Remove repetitions and incomplete clauses.

例: Definitely. In summer we usually eat cold dishes like Liang bang cucumbers to stay cool and refreshed, while in winter we prefer hot, comforting meals such as hot pot because they warm us and are nice to share with friends.

提案: Fix incorrect words and reduce repetition. Use past tense for childhood preferences and present tense for current habits. Provide a brief reason for the change and one or two specific examples.

例: When I was a child, I preferred sugary snacks like candy and cake. Now I try to eat healthier meals, such as salads and grilled fish, because I’m more concerned about my health.

× It has tender chicken and slightly sweet, smooth, soothing soap that warms me up on cold evenings, so I often have it when I'm feeling feeling tired or need comfort.

✓ It has tender chicken and a slightly sweet, smooth, soothing soup that warms me up on cold evenings, so I often have it when I'm feeling tired or need comfort.

The word 'soap' is incorrect here; the intended noun is 'soup' (vocabulary error categorized under adjective/adverb misuse because it affects description). Also there is a repeated word 'feeling feeling'. Remove the duplicate. Use the article 'a' before 'slightly sweet' to modify the singular noun 'soup'. Suggestion: replace 'soap' with 'soup', remove duplicate 'feeling', and add 'a' before 'slightly sweet'.

× When I was young, I especially like sweet food like candy, chocolate and cakes.

✓ When I was young, I especially liked sweet foods like candy, chocolate, and cakes.

The sentence begins with a past-time marker 'When I was young', so the verb should be in the past tense ('liked' not 'like'). Also 'sweet food' should be plural 'sweet foods' to match the examples. Add a comma before the final item in the list for clarity. Suggestion: use past tense 'liked' and plural 'foods'.

× I often eat cakes and family celebrations, especially on my birthday party, so sweets always made those occasions feel special and memorable.

✓ I often ate cake at family celebrations, especially on my birthday, so sweets always made those occasions feel special and memorable.

The time frame is past ('When I was young'), so verbs should be past tense: 'ate' and 'made' are correct; 'made' already in past is fine. 'Cakes and family celebrations' is ungrammatical; change to 'ate cake at family celebrations'. Also 'my birthday party' is better as 'my birthday' in this context. Suggestion: use 'ate' (past), 'cake at family celebrations', and simplify 'my birthday party' to 'my birthday'.

× In summer we usually eat cold dishes like Liang bang cucumbers to stay cool and refreshed, while in winter we prefer something hot, comforting, that make us feel warm.

✓ In summer we usually eat cold dishes like liang bang cucumbers to stay cool and refreshed, while in winter we prefer something hot and comforting that makes us feel warm.

The clause 'that make us feel warm' has subject-verb agreement error and punctuation issues. 'Make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular 'something'. Remove the misplaced comma and add 'and' between 'hot' and 'comforting'. 'Liang bang' is a dish name and can be lowercase unless treated as a proper noun. Suggestion: use 'hot and comforting that makes us feel warm'.

× So enjoy share it with. So enjoy sharing hot pot with friends.

✓ So I enjoy sharing it. I also enjoy sharing hot pot with friends.

The first sentence 'So enjoy share it with.' is ungrammatical; missing subject and incorrect verb form. Use 'I enjoy sharing it.' The second sentence is fine but needs a clearer link; add 'I also' to connect ideas. Suggestion: include subject 'I' and use gerund 'sharing'.

× When I was a child, I preferred so surgery snacks like candy and cake.

✓ When I was a child, I preferred sugary snacks like candy and cake.

The word 'surgery' is a mistaken form; the intended adjective is 'sugary'. This is a word-choice error affecting description. Use 'sugary' before 'snacks'. Suggestion: replace 'surgery' with 'sugary'.

× Now that I'm older, I try to eat healthier meals, meals such as salad and grilled fish because I care more about my health.

✓ Now that I'm older, I try to eat healthier meals, such as salads and grilled fish, because I care more about my health.

Maintain present tense 'try' for current habit. Change 'meal' examples to plural 'salads' to match 'meals'. Add commas for clarity and remove the redundant word 'meals' before 'such as'. Suggestion: use 'such as salads and grilled fish' and add commas around the clause.