Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and accurate: name the dish correctly, avoid fillers, and give one or two specific reasons. Keep it within 3–4 concise sentences with a topic sentence followed by a supporting detail. Use linking words (because/so/for example) to connect ideas.

例: My favourite food is beshbarmak, a traditional Kazakh dish. I love it because the boiled meat and wide noodles are very comforting and flavorful. For example, we often eat it at family gatherings, which makes it taste even better.

提案: Correct the dish name and grammar, avoid fragments, and expand with a brief specific detail or example. Use a clear topic sentence and a linking word to add explanation.

例: When I was young I liked Korean bulgogi, which is marinated grilled beef. I enjoyed it because the marinade was sweet and savory, and my parents often served it with rice and kimchi.

提案: Reduce hesitations, use correct nouns (e.g. 'watermelon', not 'the watermelon'), and replace unclear words ('trees') with correct food items. Structure as one topic sentence plus one supporting detail using linking words (for example/during).

例: Yes, I eat different foods in different seasons. For example, in summer I eat more fruits such as watermelon and mandarins, while in winter I prefer hot soups and stews to keep warm.

提案: Be specific about what you meant by 'useful' and 'leaves' (e.g. healthy, salads). Avoid repetition and combine sentences with linking words (but/now). Give one concrete example of foods you prefer now compared with childhood.

例: When I was a child I preferred sweet foods and desserts a lot. But now I prefer healthier options, such as vegetable soups and salads, because I want to feel more energetic and stay healthy.

× My favorite food is Monday. Uh, Kazakh national food. I love it because it is, umm, more delicious.

✓ My favorite food is 'manti', a Kazakh national dish. I love it because it is very delicious.

The original has lexical and adjective issues: 'Monday' is likely a wrong word choice (lexical error) rather than a day; replace with the intended dish name (example 'manti'). 'More delicious' is incorrect without a comparison target; use 'very delicious' or 'delicious'. Use a single coherent sentence to name the dish and describe it. Suggestion: confirm the correct dish name; use 'very delicious' for emphasis or compare to something specific.'

× When I was young, I preferred Korean food is Bulldog. I love it because it is sweet and savory.

✓ When I was young, I preferred Korean food, especially buldak. I loved it because it was sweet and savory.

Tense inconsistency and wrong clause structure: 'preferred' is past, so related verbs should also be past: 'loved' and 'was'. 'is Bulldog' is ungrammatical; use 'especially buldak' to specify a dish. Maintain past tense throughout the sentence. Suggestion: keep past tense when speaking about past preferences and use commas to add examples.'

× I think yes, I eat umm more fruit in the summer, especially mandarins and the watermelon, and I in colder months I prefer to eat umm like soups and trees.

✓ Yes, I eat more fruit in the summer, especially mandarins and watermelon, and in colder months I prefer to eat soups and stews.

Several present-tense and vocabulary issues: remove filler words and extra subjects: 'I think yes, I eat' is wordy; simply 'Yes, I eat'. 'the watermelon' should be 'watermelon' (no article for general nouns). 'and I in colder months I prefer' repeats subject; use 'and in colder months I prefer'. 'trees' is wrong word choice—likely 'stews' or 'teas'; context suggests 'soups and stews'. Suggestion: avoid repeating 'I' unnecessarily, drop unnecessary articles for general nouns, and choose correct food vocabulary.'

× When I was a child I preferred it sweet, more sweet, delicious. But now I prefer it more useful food such as soups and leaves.

✓ When I was a child I preferred it sweet, sweeter and more sugary. But now I prefer healthier foods such as soups and leafy vegetables.

Tense and word-choice errors: keep past tense for childhood preference: 'preferred'. 'it sweet, more sweet, delicious' is ungrammatical; use comparative forms like 'sweet' or 'sweeter' and specify 'more sugary' or 'sweet'. 'More useful food' is unnatural; use 'healthier foods'. 'Leaves' is vague—use 'leafy vegetables'. Suggestion: use comparative adjectives correctly (sweet -> sweeter), use 'healthier' instead of 'more useful', and specify correct food terms.