Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子不够连贯且有语法错误，表达含糊。建议：1) 先用一句主题句直接回答（肯定或否定）。2) 用一到两句具体说明（谁拍的、拍摄原因或拍摄场合），并使用连词（because/so/when）连接信息。3) 注意时态和代词用法，避免重复填充词（uh/umm）。例如把“he lucky to photograph”改为“he is good at taking photos”或“he took them”。

例: Yes, I do. Most of the photos I have were taken by my son because he enjoys photographing buildings, and I keep them because I find architectural details fascinating.

提案: 回答包含信息但有语法和表达问题，结构不够紧凑。建议：1) 首句直接回答并说明具体地点或建筑。2) 使用连词（for example/and/because）加入一到两条具体细节（为什么想去或已经去过的经历）。3) 修正时态和代词顺序（"my family and I"，"I have a lot of pictures"）。避免重复句子。

例: I would love to visit the castles on Victoria Island because they look very picturesque. For example, when my family and I visited last summer, we enjoyed the beautiful gardens full of colorful flowers, and I took many photos to remember the trip.

× Yes, I have many photos of buildings. Uh, they are given by my son. Uh, he lucky to photograph buildings umm, I am interested in this and during him.

✓ Yes, I have many photos of buildings. They were taken by my son. He likes photographing buildings. I am interested in this because of him.

问题涉及代词和人称代词的使用不当以及句子不连贯。原句中“they are given by my son”意思不清且时态不自然，改为被动的过去时“were taken by my son”更符合拍照这一动作的表达；“he lucky to photograph buildings”缺少动词，应为“he likes photographing buildings”；“I am interested in this and during him” 语义不明确，应改为“我因他而对此感兴趣（because of him）”。建议：注意用适当的人称代词并添加必要的动词，选择合适时态和连接词，使句子连贯。

× I would like to visit castles on Victoria Island. Last summer I and my family visited that. It had a lot of beautiful gardens with colored flowers. I have I had a lot of pictures on there.

✓ I would like to visit the castles on Victoria Island. Last summer my family and I visited them. They had a lot of beautiful gardens with colorful flowers. I took a lot of pictures there.

存在时态、代词指代和词序问题： - “Last summer I and my family visited that.” 英语中通常把自己放在最后，且‘that’指代建筑复数不当，改为“my family and I visited them”。 - “It had a lot of beautiful gardens” 建筑复数应使用复数代词“they had”。 - “I have I had a lot of pictures on there.” 表达混乱，应使用过去时“I took a lot of pictures there”来与‘Last summer’的过去时间一致。 建议：注意主语顺序（把自己放最后），复数名词使用复数代词，保持时间状语和动词时态一致，并使用正确的介词（‘there’而不是‘on there’）。