Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, correct grammar, and keep it concise. Begin with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and articles, and avoid unnecessary phrases like “you know.” Add one brief specific detail using a linking word.

例: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home. I live in a rural area of Markham, so most structures are low houses and farms rather than high-rise buildings.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first, then add one or two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Avoid awkward relative clauses and repetitive words; use varied vocabulary (e.g., ‘architecture’, ‘scenery’).

例: Yes, sometimes I take photos of buildings. For example, I photograph interesting architecture when a façade or design catches my eye, but generally I prefer photographing natural scenery because it feels more peaceful.

提案: Start with a concise topic sentence naming the place, then give a short reason with chronological clarity and a linking word. Correct vocabulary and tenses (e.g., ‘grew up’ instead of ‘bathe’) and avoid filler phrases like “you know.”

例: I would like to visit the Great Wall of China. I grew up in China and visited Beijing as a child, but my parents didn’t take me to the Wall, so I’d love to go now if I have the chance.

× No, you know, I'm leaving a homestay in Markham. There is a countryside so they are not tall building near to me.

✓ No, you know, I'm living in a homestay in Markham. It is a countryside area, so there are no tall buildings near me.

Multiple errors: 'leaving' is wrong verb form; should be 'living' (present progressive for current residence). 'There is a countryside' is incorrect; use 'It is a countryside area' or 'It is in the countryside'. 'they are not tall building near to me' has subject-verb agreement and article/plural issues; correct form is 'there are no tall buildings near me'. Also remove unnecessary 'to' after 'near'. Suggestions: use 'living' for current residence, use 'countryside' with appropriate article or as 'in the countryside', ensure subject-verb agreement 'there are' for plural and plural noun 'buildings'.

× Sometimes when I see the buildings, which really amaze me, I would like to take photos, but I think I prefer to see natural scene, so sometimes it depends.

✓ Sometimes when I see buildings that really amaze me, I would like to take photos, but I think I prefer to see natural scenes, so it depends.

Problems: unnecessary comma and relative clause punctuation; use 'that' instead of 'which' for essential clause. 'the buildings' can be 'buildings' generally. 'natural scene' should be plural 'natural scenes' or 'the natural scenery'. 'so sometimes it depends' is redundant; 'so it depends' is natural. Suggestions: remove unnecessary commas, use 'that' for defining clauses, use correct plural form 'scenes' or phrase 'the natural scenery'.

× I would like to visit the Great Wall in China. You know, I bathe in China and I went to Beijing when I was very young, but unfortunately my parents didn't take me to see the Great Wall at that time, so I want to visit it if I have enough time.

✓ I would like to visit the Great Wall in China. You know, I was born in China and I went to Beijing when I was very young, but unfortunately my parents didn't take me to see the Great Wall then, so I want to visit it if I have enough time.

'I bathe in China' is incorrect and likely a wrong verb; 'I was born in China' fits context. 'at that time' is okay but 'then' is more natural. Tense consistency: past events use past tense 'was born' and 'went'. Suggestions: choose correct verbs for intended meaning and keep past-tense phrasing for past events.