Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and use linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct article and plural forms, then add one specific detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition.

例: Yes. There are several tall apartment blocks near my hometown, especially around the city centre. For example, two residential high‑rise complexes were built there in the last five years, which has changed the skyline significantly.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and concise supporting details with appropriate linking phrases. Fix grammatical errors (remove unnecessary 'of', use plural agreement) and avoid long repetitive clauses. Give one specific example and a reason.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings, especially at sunset. For example, I often take skyline photos from a riverside park because the warm light highlights architectural details and creates interesting silhouettes.

提案: Answer directly, correct factual names, avoid fillers like 'uh' and long repetitive phrases. Use one or two supporting details linked by a connector and be specific about why you want to visit.

例: Yes. I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is the tallest building in the world. In addition, I want to see the city view from the observation deck at sunset, and at night the building’s lights make the skyline especially impressive.

× Yes, there are quite few apartment blocks near my hometown.

✓ Yes, there are quite a few apartment blocks near my hometown.

Missing quantifier 'a' before 'few' is required when meaning 'some'. Use 'a few' for countable plural nouns to indicate a small number; 'quite a few' means a relatively large number.

× Most of them are residential high rises, building for where people live and especially around the city centre.

✓ Most of them are residential high-rises, buildings where people live, especially around the city centre.

'Building for where people live' is incorrect phrase structure. Use the plural noun 'buildings' and the relative clause 'where people live'. Also hyphenate 'high-rises' as a compound noun.

× So tall building are fairly common in my hometown.

✓ So tall buildings are fairly common in my hometown.

Subject 'tall building' should be plural 'tall buildings' to agree with the plural verb 'are'. This fixes number agreement between noun and verb.

× I enjoy photographing of a tall building because the views from the tall buildings are very captivating and I always prefer to capture the picture of the architecture, skylines and I prefer to take pictures in the sunset because the sunlight's having details the building views and in that we are really fascinating.

✓ I enjoy photographing tall buildings because the views from them are very captivating, and I often like to capture pictures of architecture and skylines. I prefer to take photos at sunset because the sunlight highlights the buildings' details, which I find really fascinating.

Do not use 'photographing of'; use 'photographing' or 'photographing tall buildings'. Use plural consistency 'them' for 'tall buildings'. Replace redundant 'I always prefer' with 'I often like' for natural phrasing. Use 'at sunset' not 'in the sunset'. 'Sunlight's having details the building views' is ungrammatical—use 'the sunlight highlights the buildings' details'. Use a relative clause 'which I find' to express reaction.

× Yes, I want to see the building of Woodcliff, which is located in Dubai because it is the tallest building in the world and I definitely want to enjoy the view from the top of the uh building and I think a night uh, the lights always highlight the beauty of the Burj Khalifa and really fascinating and captivating movement and I really just want to enjoy.

✓ Yes, I want to see the Woodcliff building, which is located in Dubai, because it is one of the tallest buildings in the world. I definitely want to enjoy the view from the top, and at night the lights highlight the beauty of the Burj Khalifa; it is really fascinating and captivating, and I would really like to enjoy it.

Combine and reorganize run-on clauses into clear sentences. Use 'Woodcliff building' or 'the Woodcliff building'. 'The tallest building in the world' is likely incorrect for Woodcliff; safer to say 'one of the tallest' unless certain. Replace filler 'uh' and correct 'I think a night' to 'at night'. Use proper punctuation and verbs: 'it is really fascinating' and 'I would really like to enjoy it' for grammaticality and politeness.