Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to add a specific detail (e.g. exact number of floors, reason). Also correct common errors: say “there aren’t many buildings” or “there are no tall buildings,” and use plural/singular correctly and articles where needed.

例: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home. I live in a rural area where most houses are one- or two-storey. For example, the tallest building nearby is only three storeys, so the skyline is mostly low and open.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. Avoid hesitation and unclear words. Begin with a simple statement about your habit, then give one or two specific reasons and an example. Use correct vocabulary (e.g. ‘I don’t usually photograph buildings’ not ‘I dononet’), and replace vague phrases like “statistical buildings” with clear terms such as ‘interesting’ or ‘famous’ buildings.

例: No, I don’t usually take photos of buildings. I prefer photographing nature because it relaxes me and helps me keep memories. However, if I find an interesting or famous building, such as a cathedral or a historic monument, I will take a picture.

提案: Give a clear preference and name specific buildings correctly. Start with a topic sentence stating whether you have a preference, then mention one or two specific buildings and explain why using linking words (e.g. because, for example). Avoid errors in proper nouns and articles: say “the Taj Mahal” and “the Eiffel Tower.”

例: I don’t have many specific preferences, but there are a few famous buildings I’d love to visit. For example, I would like to see the Taj Mahal because of its architecture and history, and the Eiffel Tower in Paris because of the view it offers of the city.

× Actually I live in a remote place so there are not all buildings around the house.

✓ Actually, I live in a remote place, so there are not many buildings around the house.

The original sentence has incorrect structure and word choice 'not all buildings' which is unnatural. Replace with 'not many buildings' to indicate scarcity. Also add commas for clarity and natural flow.

× The tallest building in my locality is about 3 story that is not considered really at all, so not much.

✓ The tallest building in my locality is about three stories tall, which is not very high, so there are not many tall buildings.

Errors: '3 story' should be plural 'three stories' and use 'tall' after it; 'that is not considered really at all' is ungrammatical. Rephrase to 'which is not very high' to convey meaning. Also clarify final clause to 'so there are not many tall buildings.' Use numbers as words for small counts in speech-level writing.

× Ionem excellent, naturally possible.

✓ No correction possible due to unclear words; likely intended: 'I don't take them often; it's not really possible, naturally.'

The original fragment contains nonwords 'Ionem' and 'dononet' making the meaning unclear. I suggest a plausible reconstruction but exact correction requires speaker clarification. Provide clearer phrasing: 'I don't take them often; it's not really possible.'

× So I dononet take uh, pictures, pictures or videos of buildings.

✓ So I don't often take pictures or videos of buildings.

Contains typo 'dononet' and repetition; restructure to 'I don't often take pictures or videos of buildings' for correct negation and natural adverb placement.

× I like to take the pic, pictures and videos of the nature that helps me to refresh the mind and create some kind of memories.

✓ I like to take pictures and videos of nature because they help me relax and create memories.

Problems: 'the pic' and 'pictures' repetition; 'of the nature' should be 'of nature'; 'refresh the mind' is awkward—use 'help me relax'; 'create some kind of memories' -> 'create memories.' Combine into a concise natural sentence.

× But if I, uh, I see any statistical buildings, I might take the picture.

✓ But if I see any spectacular buildings, I might take a picture.

'Statistical' is the wrong adjective; likely meant 'spectacular.' Also 'the picture' should be 'a picture.' Remove filler and duplicate 'I.' This fixes vocabulary and article use.

× I think I don't have that much of preference about the building that I like to visit, but I would like to visit the Stokes, like in Taj Mahal or or Eiffel Tower of the Paris.

✓ I don't have a strong preference about which building to visit, but I would like to visit famous ones, like the Taj Mahal or the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Problems: 'that much of preference' is ungrammatical—use 'a strong preference' or 'much of a preference'; 'the Stokes' is unclear—likely 'famous ones'; 'like in Taj Mahal or or Eiffel Tower of the Paris' has multiple errors: include articles 'the Taj Mahal' and 'the Eiffel Tower' and correct preposition 'in Paris.' Rephrase for clarity and correct quantifier and preposition use.