Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: start with a concise topic sentence, avoid fillers, and give specific supporting details. Use linking words (because, so, therefore) and accurate vocabulary (buildings, businesses, develop). Limit to 2–4 sentences and correct grammar (e.g., plural nouns, articles).

例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home because the area is a commercial district. For example, many of my neighbours run businesses and have developed multi-storey offices and shops, so the skyline is quite built-up.

提案: Answer directly and use correct tense and articles. State your general habit, then give a clear reason and an example using linking words (but, however, when). Keep it concise and natural, avoiding hesitations.

例: I don't usually photograph modern buildings because I prefer photographing nature. However, when I visit historical buildings in the future, I will definitely take photos to capture their architecture and history.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence naming the building, then provide specific reasons and a brief historical detail. Use correct grammar (articles, verb tense) and avoid repetition. Use linking words (because, since, for example) to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Dharahara because it is a famous historical tower and a national landmark of Nepal. It was originally built by the King of the Shah dynasty and offers great views of the city, so I want to see its architecture and learn about its history.

× Yes, there are uh, many, uh, tall in infrastructure, uh, nearby home, uh nearby home because the neighbors, uh, neighbors are uh, Willy Willy and uh, run several business, several business.

✓ Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because my neighbors run several businesses.

Multiple errors: 'many' requires a plural noun so 'building' -> 'buildings' (Singular and plural issue). 'in infrastructure' is unnecessary and incorrect; use 'buildings' to refer to tall structures. 'nearby home' needs a possessive determiner: 'my home' (Incorrect use of pronouns/articles, but corrected under plural rule). 'the neighbors, neighbors are Willy Willy' is unclear; simplified to 'my neighbors run several businesses.' 'business' should be plural after 'several' (Singular and plural issue). Suggestion: Use 'many' with plural nouns, include possessive determiners for places (my home), and make nouns plural after quantifiers like 'several'.

× And I really take a image of buildings, uh, because I loved, uh, nature instead of building, uh, However, when I, uh, go to historical building in future, I will definitely take photos of that.

✓ I don't usually take pictures of buildings because I love nature instead of buildings. However, when I visit historical buildings in the future, I will definitely take photos of them.

Tense and form issues: 'I really take a image' is incorrect; habitual actions use 'I don't usually take' and 'image' should be 'pictures' (Present tense issue and Singular/plural). 'I loved' is past tense but sentence refers to a general preference—use present 'I love' (Present tense issue). 'building' needs plural after 'historical' and with 'visit' use base form 'visit' not 'go to' (Verb choice). 'in future' needs article 'in the future' (Article/preposition). Pronoun 'that' referring to plural 'buildings' should be 'them' (Incorrect use of pronouns). Suggestion: Keep consistent present tense for general preferences, match singular/plural for nouns, and use correct pronouns for plural antecedents.

× Yes, I like to visit Dahara which is the identity of Nepal and one of the historical building as well as tallest building in Nepal in past past.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit Dharahara, which is a symbol of Nepal and one of the historical and tallest buildings in Nepal in the past.

Several grammatical problems: 'Dahara' likely intended 'Dharahara' (proper noun spelling). 'one of the historical building' requires plural 'buildings' after 'one of the' (Singular and plural issue). 'as well as tallest building' needs article and plural agreement: 'and one of the tallest buildings' (Singular and plural issue). 'in past past' is incorrect; use 'in the past' (Phrase/form). Suggestion: Use 'one of the + plural noun' structure, include articles where needed ('a symbol', 'the past'), and ensure correct spelling of proper nouns.

× It is made by our past king between there and Shah so.

✓ It was built by our past king, the Shah.

Incorrect verb form and passive construction: 'It is made' is wrong for a historical construction—use past passive 'was built' (Verb in the past participle form). Phrase 'between there and Shah so' is ungrammatical and likely attempts to name the Shah dynasty; simplified to 'the Shah.' Suggestion: Use past passive 'was built' plus a clear agent phrase 'by our past king, the Shah' for clarity.