Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Shorten and make the answer more natural and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific detail to enrich the answer. Use a linking word if you add a second idea.

例: Yes, there are several tall buildings in my hometown of Mandawa City. For example, the new commercial block near the market has about twelve storeys, and you can see similar high-rises in the neighboring districts.

提案: Be more concise and natural. Give a brief reason and one specific example of what you prefer to photograph or do in your free time. Keep it to two or three sentences.

例: No, I don't usually take photos of buildings. I prefer photographing landscapes and street scenes because I enjoy capturing natural light and everyday life.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence and correct grammar (singular subject). Give a specific reason and one concrete detail about what you want to see. Use a linking word to connect the reason and the detail.

例: I would love to visit the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt. I am fascinated by its ancient architecture and would like to see the precise stonework up close and learn about how it was constructed.

× A building that I would like to visit are the Pyramids of Giza in Giza or Cairo, Egypt.

✓ A building that I would like to visit is the Pyramids of Giza in Giza or Cairo, Egypt.

The subject 'A building' is singular, so the verb must be singular 'is' not 'are'. This is a subject-verb agreement error related to singular/plural. Better: change 'A building' to 'A place' or change the structure to 'Buildings that I would like to visit are the Pyramids of Giza...' depending on intended meaning. Ensure the subject and verb agree in number.

× Yes, there are tall buildings in my hometown of Mandawa City and there are as well tall buildings in the surrounding areas of my city.

✓ Yes, there are tall buildings in my hometown, Mandawa City, and there are also tall buildings in the surrounding areas.

The original used 'as well' awkwardly and redundant phrasing 'in my city'. Use 'also' for smoother coordination and remove repetitive prepositional phrase. Place commas to set off the appositive 'Mandawa City'.

× It's not a hobby that I intend to do recreationally, nor is it something that I would be spending in my free time.

✓ It's not a hobby that I intend to do recreationally, nor is it something that I would spend my free time on.

The verb phrase 'would be spending' is awkward with 'in my free time'. Use the simple infinitive or bare infinitive structure 'spend my free time on' after 'would'. Also use the correct preposition 'on' for 'spend time on something'. This corrects improper modal/verb form and preposition choice.

× I typically like the aesthetics of the building simply because of its historical nature as well as its historical significance in general.

✓ I typically like the aesthetics of the building simply because of its historical nature and its historical significance.

The phrase 'as well as' followed by 'in general' is redundant. Replace 'as well as' with 'and' for parallelism and remove 'in general' to make the sentence concise. Also ensure 'aesthetics of the building' matches singular reference; the prepositional structure is improved for clarity.

× A building that I would like to visit are the Pyramids of Giza in Giza or Cairo, Egypt.

✓ A building that I would like to visit is the Pyramids of Giza near Giza or Cairo, Egypt.

Location phrasing 'in Giza or Cairo' is unclear because the Pyramids are near Giza, not Cairo. Use 'near Giza' or simply 'in Giza, Egypt'. Also avoid listing both cities if incorrect. This fixes the prepositional/location error for accuracy.