Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Reduce fillers (uh, umm) and correct grammar (use present simple/past appropriately, plural agreement). Use linking words like 'however' or 'but' to connect ideas.

例: No, there aren't any tall buildings near my home in Myanmar. However, near my office there are many high-rise buildings because I work in a commercial area, and there is also a large park nearby which makes the area pleasant.

提案: Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement and tense) and be more specific about frequency and reasons. Use one linking phrase to connect reason and example. Keep within 3–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I usually take photos of interesting buildings. For example, when I lived in Houston I was impressed by the modern architecture, so I often photographed skyscrapers and historic facades to remember the city.

提案: Answer directly and clearly: name the building without extra fillers, use correct article use ('the Eiffel Tower'), correct verb forms, and give one specific reason or detail about plans. Avoid rambling and repetition.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris. My husband and I are planning a trip there because I have wanted to see it since childhood, and I am excited to enjoy the views from the top and take photographs.

× No Myanmar home, we don't have a tall building there, but uh, near my office, I usually, umm, watch many tall buildings because I was working a cooperative area.

✓ No, in my home country Myanmar we don't have tall buildings there, but near my office I often see many tall buildings because I worked in a cooperative area.

Errors: missing articles and incorrect word order. Use 'in my home country Myanmar' for clarity and include the preposition 'in'. 'Watch' is incorrect for observing buildings; use 'see'. 'I was working' should be 'I worked' to match the simple past time reference. Suggestions: place 'in my home country' before 'Myanmar', use 'tall buildings' without 'a', replace 'watch' with 'see', and use 'often' instead of filler 'usually' for naturalness.

× So we are umm, have a big parks around, uh, there and many buildings as well.

✓ So we have a big park around there and many buildings as well.

Errors: incorrect verb form 'are have' and plural mismatch 'a big parks'. Use a single verb 'have' with the subject 'we'. Use singular 'a big park' or plural without 'a'. Suggestions: remove filler words, use 'So we have a big park around there' or 'So there are big parks around there' depending on intended meaning.

× Yes, I usually takes photos of buildings, umm, in Houston for example.

✓ Yes, I usually take photos of buildings, for example in Houston.

Error: subject-verb agreement in present simple. With subject 'I', the base form 'take' is required, not 'takes'. Suggestions: use 'I usually take' and place time/place phrases naturally: 'for example in Houston' or 'in Houston, for example'.

× When I started living there, I was very impressed about the buildings that we usually uh saw there, so I usually took many photos.

✓ When I started living there, I was very impressed by the buildings that we often saw there, so I took many photos.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'impressed about' should be 'impressed by'. Inconsistent adverb use: 'usually saw' with past context should be 'often saw' or 'used to see'. 'Usually took' conflicts with past reference, use 'took'. Suggestions: use 'impressed by', choose consistent past tense verbs ('we often saw' or 'we used to see'), and use 'took many photos'.

× Yes, I like to 1. I like to visit an Eiffel Tower in Paris and me and my husband are planning on travel there to there.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and my husband and I are planning to travel there.

Errors: article misuse 'an Eiffel Tower' should be 'the Eiffel Tower' because it is a specific, unique landmark. Pronoun order 'me and my husband' is informal and incorrect in subject position; use 'my husband and I'. 'Planning on travel' should be 'planning to travel'. Suggestions: use 'the' for famous landmarks, put 'my husband and I' as subject, and use 'planning to travel'.

× We are very excited about it because when I was a child I was checking the places that I wanted to visit and tour a tower if it was the one.

✓ We are very excited about it because when I was a child I used to look at places I wanted to visit and wondered if that tower was one of them.

Errors: awkward tense and verb choice. 'Was checking the places' is incorrect; use 'used to look at' or 'used to check' for repeated past actions. 'Tour a tower if it was the one' is unclear; use 'wondered if that tower was one of them'. Suggestions: use 'used to' for habitual past, replace 'checking' with 'look at' or 'reading about', and rephrase to convey the intended meaning clearly.