Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar, and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct plural/singular mistakes and unclear phrases.

例: No, there are no tall buildings near my home because I live in a small town. Most buildings here are two- or three-storey houses and a few low-rise apartment blocks, so I enjoy the surrounding greenery.

提案: Remove hesitations and pronoun errors, use correct verb forms and articles, and organize answer with linking words. Give one clear reason and a brief example of when or why you photograph buildings.

例: Yes, I do. I often photograph tall and historical buildings when I travel to other cities because they reveal local culture and architecture; for example, I took many photos of old cathedrals on my last trip to Rome to share with friends.

提案: Good content and clear choice; fix small errors (use articles, reduce repetition) and streamline sentences. Start with a direct statement, then add a specific reason and one detail about what you would do there.

例: I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris because it is an iconic and breathtaking landmark. I would go to the top to enjoy the panoramic view of the city and take photographs at sunset.

提案: Finish your answer fully and avoid fillers. Begin with a clear opinion, give one or two specific reasons with linking words, and conclude concisely. Fix awkward expressions (e.g. 'much hustle and bustle' -> 'the hustle and bustle').

例: No, I would not want to live in a tall building because I prefer quiet, green surroundings. Tall buildings are usually in fast-paced cities with heavy traffic, so I would rather live in a low-rise area near parks.

× There aren't tall buildings in my home because I'm living in a small town.

✓ There aren't any tall buildings near my home because I live in a small town.

Use of location preposition and article: 'in my home' is incorrect for nearby buildings; 'near my home' or 'near my house' is correct. Also use 'any' with negative count nouns and use simple present 'I live' for a general state rather than present continuous 'I'm living'. These changes correct preposition, article/quantifier and tense usage (IDs 11, 22, 6).

× Uh, this town does just have two or three stories buildings and umm, Laura's apartments.

✓ This town only has two- or three-storey buildings and some low-rise apartments.

Word order and noun modifiers: 'does just have' is awkward; use 'only has'. Use hyphenation for 'two- or three-storey' and correct noun 'storey/storey' (or 'story' in US English). 'Laura's apartments' is unclear; likely 'low-rise apartments' or 'some apartments'. This fixes sentence structure, adjective order and article use (IDs 26, 18, 22).

× So this is my type of hometown because I love greenery.

✓ So this is my kind of hometown because I love greenery.

Word choice: 'type of hometown' is unnatural; 'kind of hometown' or 'type of place' is better. This is an adjective/noun collocation issue (ID 13).

× He absolutely, I take pictures of, uh, tall buildings, some historical buildings and, uh, modern architectures, uh, uh, while I traveling to another cities.

✓ Absolutely, I take pictures of tall buildings, some historical buildings and modern architecture when I travel to other cities.

Pronoun and filler removal, verb tense and form: Remove extraneous 'He'. Use 'architecture' as an uncountable noun. Use simple present 'I travel' for habitual action and correct preposition 'to other cities'. Also use 'when' instead of 'while' for travel. This addresses incorrect pronoun use, verb tense and preposition (IDs 12, 6, 11).

× I think this is a good way to capture all those and, uh, share on social media.

✓ I think it is a good way to capture them and share them on social media.

Pronoun and parallelism: Replace vague 'all those' with 'them' and make parallel verbs 'capture them and share them'. This corrects pronoun use and sentence structure (IDs 12, 26).

× Well, if I had to choose one building where I want to visit, it would be Eiffel Tower in Paris and it is a iconic and breathtaking landmark.

✓ Well, if I had to choose one building to visit, it would be the Eiffel Tower in Paris; it is an iconic and breathtaking landmark.

Verb form and article: Use infinitive 'to visit' after 'choose'. Add definite article 'the' for 'Eiffel Tower' and use 'an' before a vowel sound 'iconic'. This fixes verb form, article and article before vowel sound (IDs 26, 17, 13).

× So I would love to go to to the top of the Eiffel Tower and want to enjoy the view of the city.

✓ So I would love to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and enjoy the view of the city.

Redundancy and verb parallelism: Remove duplicated 'to', and use parallel structure 'would love to... and enjoy...' rather than mixing 'would love to... and want to'. This addresses sentence structure and redundancy (IDs 26, 23).

× As I said before, I'm living in a small town because I do not like uh much hustle and bustle of the cities.

✓ As I said before, I live in a small town because I do not like the hustle and bustle of big cities.

Tense and article use: Use simple present 'I live' for a general state. Add definite article 'the' before 'hustle and bustle' and use 'big cities' or 'large cities' for clarity. This corrects tense and article use (IDs 6, 17).

× I love to live in a quiet place, so tall buildings are mostly in fast-paced cities where much traffic and all.

✓ I prefer to live in a quiet place, since tall buildings are mostly in fast-paced cities with heavy traffic.

Collocation and preposition: 'I love to live' is okay but 'I prefer to live' is more natural here. 'Where much traffic and all' is ungrammatical; use 'with heavy traffic'. This fixes adjective/adverb usage and preposition/phrase structure (IDs 13, 11).

× So I love to live in a.

✓ So I prefer to live in a quiet place.

Sentence fragment: The original is incomplete. Provide a full clause to match context: 'I prefer to live in a quiet place.' This resolves the sentence without a verb/complete predicate (IDs 23, 26).