Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and avoid hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (use 'a few' or 'few' correctly), and give one or two specific details using linking words. Reduce filler sounds (uh, um).

例: Yes. There are a few tall buildings near my home that I pass on my way to work. For example, most of the apartment blocks are five to six storeys high, and several new glass towers have been built in the last two years.

提案: Answer directly and use smoother phrasing. Use linking words (but, however, instead) and correct verb forms and articles. Give a brief specific reason and one example to support your preference.

例: Not really. I prefer photographing people and nature because they feel more lively and expressive. However, I sometimes photograph famous buildings, such as historic monuments, when they have interesting architecture.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, improve grammar and word choice, and add one specific detail about why you want to visit. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I would love to visit the Taj Mahal in India because it is one of the most famous monuments and a powerful symbol of love. For example, I want to see its white marble architecture at sunrise and learn about the history behind Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal.

提案: Avoid repetition and hesitations; use correct sentence structure and conditional forms. State your preference clearly and give one or two specific reasons with linking words (because, while, however).

例: It depends on where I live. If I live in the city, I would prefer a tall building because it usually offers better security and facilities; however, if I lived in a small town, I would choose a house so my family could have more outdoor space.

× Yes, there are few tall buildings near my home that I pass on the way of my work.

✓ Yes, there are a few tall buildings near my home that I pass on my way to work.

The phrase 'are few tall buildings' is incorrect; use 'a few' to indicate some. Also 'on the way of my work' is unnatural; use 'on my way to work'. Suggestion: say 'a few' for a small number and 'on my way to work' for the route.

× Most of the, uh, most of the apartments, uh, that's building more than five and six blocks.

✓ Most of the apartments are in buildings with five or six floors.

Sentence is fragmented and uses incorrect words ('that's building', 'blocks' for floors). Correct structure uses subject + linking verb + complement: 'apartments are in buildings with five or six floors.' Suggestion: remove fillers and use clear noun phrases.

× No, I'm not inclined to take photos of buildings. Umm instead of I prefer to take photos of people and nature.

✓ No, I'm not inclined to take photos of buildings. Instead, I prefer to take photos of people and nature.

The original has an incorrect phrasing 'Umm instead of I prefer' which misuses conjunctions/modal structure. Removing 'instead of' and using 'Instead, I prefer' corrects transition and sentence flow. Suggestion: use 'Instead, I prefer...' for contrast.

× Buildings are not catching my interest.

✓ Buildings do not catch my interest.

'Are not catching my interest' is present continuous but stative verb 'catch' should be simple present: 'do not catch my interest.' Suggestion: use simple present for general facts or habitual states.

× I usually click the pictures of famous building.

✓ I usually take pictures of famous buildings.

'The pictures of famous building' mixes singular/plural and article use. Use plural 'buildings' and 'take pictures' is more natural than 'click the pictures.' Suggestion: use 'take pictures of famous buildings'.

× Yes, I would like to visit Taj Mahal that is more popular and building in India and it is a symbol of love that made by Shah Jahan for his wife Mumtaz.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit the Taj Mahal, which is a very famous building in India, and it is a symbol of love built by Shah Jahan for his wife Mumtaz.

Missing article 'the' before 'Taj Mahal'; 'more popular and building' is wrong—use 'very famous building' or 'a famous monument'; passive formation 'that made by' should be 'built by'. Also use a non-defining relative clause 'which is...'. Suggestion: use 'the Taj Mahal' and 'built by' for passive past action.

× The prime reason to visit there to feel romantic on that place.

✓ The main reason to visit is to experience the romantic atmosphere there.

Original is ungrammatical: missing verb structure and awkward preposition 'on that place'. Use 'The main reason to visit is to experience the romantic atmosphere there.' Suggestion: use 'main reason to visit is to...' and 'there' for location.

× Well, it's depend on the place.

✓ Well, it depends on the place.

'It' requires third person singular verb 'depends', not 'depend'. Suggestion: ensure subject and verb agree: 'it depends'.

× If I live in city, uh, then I prefer to live in tall buildings at is provide more security and, uh, more, uh, uh, security.

✓ If I live in the city, then I would prefer to live in tall buildings because they provide more security.

Missing article 'the' before 'city'; 'at is provide' is incorrect — use 'because they provide'. Also use conditional 'would prefer' for hypothetical and avoid repetition. Suggestion: use 'in the city' and 'because they provide'.

× And if I live in the town, then I prefer to live in house with my family that.

✓ If I live in a town, I would prefer to live in a house with my family.

Use article 'a' before 'town' and 'house'; rephrase with 'would prefer' for hypothetical and remove trailing 'that'. Suggestion: 'If I live in a town, I would prefer to live in a house with my family.'