Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak more clearly and use correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No + short fact), then add one specific detail. Avoid repetition. For example, replace incorrect words ("toll bill") with "tall" or "high-rise", and say where they are located and what you like about them.

例: Yes. I live downtown, so there are many tall high-rise buildings around my neighborhood. For example, there is a modern glass tower next to the park that looks especially impressive at night because it is brightly lit.

提案: Give a clear direct answer then add a specific condition when you do take photos. Use linking words (but, however, when) correctly and avoid vague phrases like "too much, too cloudy". Be concise and precise about the situations that prompt you to take pictures.

例: Not usually, but I do sometimes. For instance, when the sky is dramatic and cloudy or when an unusual design towers over a crowded street, I like to take a photo to capture the atmosphere.

提案: Answer directly, correct small grammar issues and give one or two specific reasons or a brief plan. Use linking words like "because" and time references like "next winter" clearly. Avoid repetition of short fillers ("Yes, Lee, yes").

例: Yes. I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is one of the tallest buildings in the world and I am curious about its architecture and the view from the observation deck. I hope to go there next winter.

提案: Start with a clear direct statement and give two concise, well-linked reasons. Fix grammar ("I am scared of heights") and improve coherence using linking words like "and" or "because". Be specific about what you like about the countryside (quiet, green space).

例: No, I would not prefer to live in a tall building because I am afraid of heights. I prefer the countryside because it is quieter, has more green space, and has less traffic.

× So I am living in the downtown so there are many toll bill tall buildings in my in my neighbor and on the top it's looking very awesome.

✓ I live downtown, so there are many tall buildings in my neighborhood, and they look very impressive from above.

Original contains incorrect progressive use 'am living' for a habitual/state situation; use simple present 'I live'. 'toll bill' is nonsense and removed; 'tall buildings' plural is fine but 'in my neighbor' should be 'in my neighborhood' (preposition and noun form). 'on the top it's looking' uses present continuous incorrectly for a general description; use 'they look'. Suggestions: use simple present for habitual facts, correct vocabulary, and use 'neighborhood' for area.

× Usually I do not take photos of building, but when there is too much, too cloudy and when and buildings are crossing all above the crowd, I often take pictures of the buildings.

✓ Usually I do not take photos of buildings, but when it is very cloudy and buildings stand above the crowd, I often take pictures of them.

Missing plural/article: 'photos of building' should be 'photos of buildings' (plural). 'there is too much, too cloudy' is ungrammatical; use 'it is very cloudy'. 'and when and buildings are crossing all above the crowd' is unclear; corrected to 'buildings stand above the crowd'. Pronoun reference: replace repeated noun with 'them'. Suggestions: use plural nouns when speaking generally, use 'it is' for weather expressions, and use clear subject-verb structure.

× Yes, Lee, yes, I definitely want to visit see a building which is in Dubai known as Burj Khalifa.

✓ Yes, I definitely want to visit a building in Dubai known as the Burj Khalifa.

Redundant verbs 'visit see' — use a single verb 'visit'. 'which is in Dubai known as Burj Khalifa' is wordy; rephrase to 'a building in Dubai known as the Burj Khalifa'. Also add the definite article 'the' before famous building names like Burj Khalifa. Suggestions: avoid using two verbs together; choose one and keep clause order natural.

× It is the one of the tallest building in the world and hope in next winter I will go there and see it.

✓ It is one of the tallest buildings in the world, and I hope to go there next winter to see it.

Errors: missing article 'one of the' should be followed by plural 'buildings' not 'building'. 'and hope in next winter I will go there and see it' needs subject and correct infinitive: 'I hope to go there next winter to see it'. Suggestions: use 'one of the + plural noun' and include a subject and correct verb forms for hopes/plans.

× I do not prefer to live in the tall building because I have a I am scared from heights so I and I also like to stay on countryside because I want to stay in more nature as compared about traffic.

✓ I do not prefer to live in tall buildings because I am afraid of heights, and I also prefer to live in the countryside because I want to be closer to nature and away from traffic.

Multiple issues: 'I do not prefer to live' is acceptable but adjusted for naturalness; 'I have a I am scared from heights' is ungrammatical — use 'I am afraid of heights' (correct adjective and preposition). 'live in the tall building' -> 'live in tall buildings' (general statement plural). 'stay on countryside' should be 'live in the countryside' (correct preposition and article). 'stay in more nature' incorrect phrase — use 'be closer to nature'. 'as compared about traffic' is incorrect; use 'away from traffic' or 'to avoid traffic'. Suggestions: use 'afraid of' for fear, 'in the countryside' for rural area, and clearer comparative phrasing.