Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize your response: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and vague phrases (e.g. "like kind of"). Improve grammar (use correct articles and prepositions) and sentence variety.

例: No, there aren’t many tall buildings near my home. However, about two or three kilometres away there is a very tall shopping mall that I can see from my street, and I enjoy looking at it because of its modern glass façade.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence answering yes/no, then give a clear reason and a brief example. Avoid irrelevant statements ("I am a photogenic person") and use linking words like "because" or "however." Use precise vocabulary (e.g. "common" instead of "obvious").

例: No, I don’t usually photograph buildings because they seem quite common and don’t interest me much. For example, I prefer taking pictures of people or nature, which I find more expressive.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and correct factual and grammatical errors. Use linking words to add a reason and a short detail (what attracts you). Avoid filler words like "uh" and incorrect phrases such as "most tallest."

例: Yes, I would love to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is one of the tallest buildings in the world. I’ve seen many photos and videos of its observation deck, and I would like to experience the panoramic view in person.

提案: Answer directly and provide two concise, specific reasons with linking words. Correct repetitive and unclear phrases and use formal contractions or full forms (avoid "wanna").

例: No, I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building. Firstly, I’ve always lived in a house and I prefer having a garden and more privacy. Secondly, I am very attached to my current home and wouldn’t want to move away from it.

× Unfortunately, there are not a lot of tall buildings or monuments around our home.

✓ Unfortunately, there are not many tall buildings or monuments around our home.

Use 'many' with plural countable nouns in negative sentences rather than 'a lot of'. 'A lot of' can be used but 'not many' is more natural and grammatically preferred in negative contexts; change improves formality and accuracy.

× So there are not a lot of tall buildings.

✓ So there are not many tall buildings.

Same as above: use 'not many' with plural countable nouns in negative statements for correctness and naturalness.

× Since I am a photogenic person, but I don't enjoy taking photos of buildings because it's kind of obvious that buildings are everywhere now.

✓ Although I consider myself photogenic, I don't enjoy taking photos of buildings because it's obvious that buildings are everywhere now.

The original mixes 'since' and 'but' incorrectly and uses informal fillers. Start with 'Although' or 'Although I am' to show contrast. 'Photogenic person' is acceptable but 'consider myself photogenic' is more natural. Removing 'kind of' improves clarity.

× It's not a new thing to look up a building and it's not quite impressive to be honest.

✓ It's not new to look at buildings, and to be honest, they're not very impressive.

'Look up a building' is awkward; 'look at buildings' is natural. Sentence needed rephrasing for parallelism and correct adjective/adverb use: 'not quite impressive' becomes 'not very impressive' and pronoun 'they' refers to buildings.

× So I do not take a lot of photos of buildings.

✓ So I do not take many photos of buildings.

Use 'many' with countable plural nouns in negative sentences; 'not many' is more natural than 'not a lot of' in this context.

× Yeah, that building is qualified for a lot of out Burj Khalifa, which is located in Dubai and it is one of the most tallest building in the world and I love that watching in my phone or uh posters.

✓ Yes, the building I would like to visit is the Burj Khalifa in Dubai; it is one of the tallest buildings in the world, and I enjoy looking at pictures of it on my phone or on posters.

Original sentence has many errors: 'qualified for a lot of out' is meaningless and must be replaced by a clear reference. Use 'the Burj Khalifa' as the proper noun; 'most tallest' is incorrect (double comparison)—use 'tallest'. 'I love that watching in my phone or uh posters' is ungrammatical; change to 'I enjoy looking at pictures of it on my phone or on posters.' Use semicolon/commas to separate clauses.

× it is one of the most tallest building in the world

✓ it is one of the tallest buildings in the world

Do not combine 'most' with the superlative form 'tallest'; use either 'the most tall' (rare) or more correctly 'the tallest' or 'one of the tallest'. Also ensure plural 'buildings' after 'one of the'.

× Since I was a child, I have never lived in a building and big buildings because I'm not really into buildings.

✓ Since I was a child, I have never lived in a tall building because I'm not really into living in tall buildings.

Original mixes 'a building and big buildings' awkwardly. Use present perfect 'have never lived' with 'since' correctly. Clarify 'tall building' and make consistent noun usage: 'living in tall buildings'.

× And the another main factor is I'm really attached to my home and I don't wanna live my I don't wanna live my home.

✓ Another main factor is that I'm really attached to my home, and I don't want to leave it.

Remove redundant 'the' before 'another', add 'that' for clarity, use 'want to' instead of colloquial 'wanna', and correct the repeated and incorrect phrase 'I don't wanna live my home' to 'I don't want to leave it' for natural English.

× So yeah, that is one of the main reason, I guess.

✓ So yeah, that is one of the main reasons, I guess.

'One of the' must be followed by a plural noun: 'reasons' not 'reason'.