Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조와 어휘 사용에서 여러 오류가 있어 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 우선 자연스러운 주제문으로 시작하고, 장소 설명은 정확한 전치사와 표현을 사용하세요(예: “in my town”, “a 15-minute bus ride away”). 과거 표현은 ‘used to’의 사용법을 바로잡고, 불완전한 문장은 마무리하세요. 또한 문장은 2~3문장으로 간결하게 유지하고 불필요한 반복을 피하세요.

例: Yes, there is a tall building near my home. It is in my town and about a 15-minute bus ride away. The building is called the Yuxton Building, but I don’t usually go there.

提案: 의도는 분명하지만 시제와 표현을 더 자연스럽게 고쳐야 합니다. 가정문에는 올바른 시제(If I travel / If I go)를 사용하고, 대명사 일치(시로 ‘photo of it’ 또는 ‘photos of them’)를 주의하세요. 연결어(if)를 쓸 때 문장을 간결하게 유지하고 구체적 예시를 더하면 좋습니다.

例: Yes, I do, but not always. If I travel to a beautiful place and the buildings look impressive, I usually take photos of them. For example, I often photograph old churches or modern skyscrapers when I visit a new city.

提案: 발음 혼동(putting?), 단어 선택과 문법(‘one of the tallest building’ → ‘one of the tallest buildings’)에 주의하세요. ‘want to visit’ 이유를 구체적으로 설명하고 ‘wanna’ 같은 구어체는 시험에서는 ‘want to’로 바꾸세요. 또한 연결어(so, because)를 적절히 사용해 문장을 논리적으로 이어가세요.

例: Yes, definitely. I would love to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai. It is one of the tallest buildings in the world, and I want to see the view from the observation deck and admire the architecture up close.

提案: 문장의 의미가 불분명하고 단어 선택 오류가 많습니다('door building', 'doorbell is in the city' 등). 비교를 할 때는 이유를 명확히 설명하세요(예: noise, lack of fresh air). 반복 표현은 줄이고, 구어체('wanna') 대신 정식 표현을 사용하세요. 간결하게 2~3문장으로 본인의 선호와 이유를 제시하세요.

例: No, I don't want to live in a tall building. I prefer a house in the suburbs because it is quieter and has fresher air. Someday I hope to live in a home with a garden and more outdoor space.

× Yes, there is a tall building near my home.

✓ Yes, there are tall buildings near my home.

The examiner asked about plural 'buildings', so the student should use plural subject. The verb 'there is' must agree with a plural noun, so use 'there are'. Use 'there are' for existence of multiple items.

× It is placed in your little which is 15 minutes bus ride away and the name of the building is Yuxton building.

✓ It is located in my town, which is a 15-minute bus ride away, and the name of the building is Yuxton Building.

Use 'located in' rather than 'placed in' for places. 'Your little' is incorrect; likely 'my town' or 'my area' is intended. Use 'a 15-minute bus ride' with hyphenated compound adjective before a noun. Capitalize proper name 'Yuxton Building'.

× I didn't used to go there but it's one of the most.

✓ I didn't use to go there, but it's one of the most interesting places now.

After 'did' the base form 'use' should be used, not 'used'. Also the sentence is incomplete: 'one of the most' needs a noun like 'interesting places'. Provide a complete comparative phrase.

× Yes I do, but not every time.

✓ Yes, I do, but not always.

'Not every time' is understandable but 'not always' is more natural in this context. Add commas and capitalize 'I'.

× If I could travel some someplace and the scenery is beautiful and the building is great, then I take a photo of them.

✓ If I travel somewhere and the scenery is beautiful and the building is impressive, I take photos of it.

Use simple present 'travel' for habitual actions rather than 'could'. 'Someplace' or 'somewhere' not 'some someplace'; choose 'somewhere'. Match number: 'a building' is singular, so use 'it' not 'them', or make nouns plural. Use 'photos' plural for general habit. Replace 'great' with 'impressive' for natural phrasing.

× Uh, to be honest, I don't remember the name of the putting.

✓ Uh, to be honest, I don't remember the name of the building.

'Putting' is incorrect; the correct noun is 'building'. Ensure correct word choice; pronoun/word confusion caused the error.

× The reason I want to visit there is because it's one of the tallest building in the world, so I wanna appreciate the scenery in the beautiful building.

✓ The reason I want to visit it is because it's one of the tallest buildings in the world, so I want to appreciate the scenery from the beautiful building.

Use 'visit it' rather than 'visit there'. 'One of the tallest buildings' needs plural 'buildings'. Avoid informal 'wanna' — use 'want to'. Use 'from' to indicate viewing scenery from the building. Ensure article and plurality agreement.

× No, I don't. It would be much more, much more convenient for me to live in the door building because usually the doorbell is in the city.

✓ No, I don't. It would be much more convenient for me to live in a low-rise building because usually the air is fresher in the countryside.

Original has many errors: 'door building' and 'doorbell' are incorrect words. Likely intended 'low-rise building' or 'a house'. 'Usually the air is fresher in the countryside' fits contrast with tall buildings in the city. Remove repeated phrases and correct word choice.

× But I wanna someday, I wanna live in the house with fresh air.

✓ But I want to live someday in a house with fresh air.

Use 'want to' instead of informal 'wanna'. Place 'someday' naturally after 'want to' or before 'live'. Use 'a house' not 'the house' for general desire. Maintain present tense for current desire.