Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more specific and avoid unnecessary repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence and add one or two specific supporting details (locations, number, or type). Use a linking phrase if adding detail.

例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home; our neighbourhood has several modern apartment blocks and a few office towers along the main road, so the skyline looks quite urban.

提案: Make your answer more fluent and grammatically correct. Give a clear topic sentence, then explain when and why you take photos, using linking words and correct tense/forms.

例: Sometimes I do. I don't usually photograph buildings near my home, but when I travel I like to take pictures of notable or historic buildings because they capture the character of a place.

提案: Avoid informal words like 'yeah' and correct grammar (word order and articles). Provide a brief reason for your choice to enrich the answer and use a linking word.

例: Yes, I have always wanted to visit the Shanghai Oriental Pearl Tower since I was young, because its futuristic design and observation decks offer great views of the city.

提案: Make your position clearer in the first sentence and improve cohesion with a linking word. Keep sentences concise and correct conditional forms.

例: I could live in a tall building if necessary, but given the choice I would prefer a house in the countryside because it feels more peaceful and spacious.

× Well sometimes. I mean I don't usually take the photos near my home but if I went down a travel I will take photos of some special buildings.

✓ Well, sometimes. I mean, I don't usually take photos near my home, but if I travel abroad I will take photos of some special buildings.

The sentence contains an incorrect phrase 'went down a travel' and an unnecessary article 'the' before 'photos'. 'Went down a travel' is ungrammatical; use the simple present 'travel' after 'if' for a real conditional referring to the future (first conditional uses present in the if-clause and 'will' in the main clause): 'if I travel abroad, I will...'. Also omit 'the' before 'photos' when speaking generally: 'take photos', not 'take the photos'. Add commas to separate clauses for clarity.

× Yeah, I have always wanted to visit the Shanghai Pearl Tower since the young age and I have never visited before.

✓ Yeah, I have always wanted to visit the Shanghai Pearl Tower since my childhood, and I have never visited it.

'Since the young age' is not idiomatic; use 'since my childhood' or 'from a young age'. The present perfect 'have never visited' should be followed by the object 'it' when referring back to the tower. Also add 'and' to join the two related clauses. This keeps the present perfect tense consistent and clear.

× I would say if I don't have a choice I can live in a tall building, but if I can choose, I will choose to live in a home in the countryside, which sounds more comfortable to me.

✓ I would say that if I had no choice, I could live in a tall building, but if I could choose, I would choose to live in a home in the countryside, which sounds more comfortable to me.

The original mixes conditional forms incorrectly. For hypothetical or unlikely situations, use the second conditional: 'if I had no choice, I could...' and 'if I could choose, I would choose...'. Using 'don't have' and 'can' suggests a real present fact, which does not match the intended hypothetical meaning. Changing to 'had'/'could' and 'would' makes the modality consistent and grammatically correct.