Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答有信息，但存在用词不当（如“beauties”用错）、句子重复和冗长。建议用更自然的表达并控制句子数（不超过5句），用一到两句直接回答并补充一两点具体细节。例如集中说明数量、位置或观感，使用连词使条理清晰。

例: Yes, there are several tall skyscrapers near my home. They surround my apartment and I can see them clearly from my bedroom window, especially in the mornings when the sunlight hits their glass facades.

提案: 回答表达明确但重复且有语法错误（如“structure of beauty”不自然，“do not like take photos”缺少to），句子冗长。建议先直接回答（Yes/No），然后用一两句给出具体原因并举例，注意使用准确词汇和正确语法。

例: No, I rarely photograph buildings because they are so common in my neighborhood. I prefer taking pictures of people or parks, which feel more interesting and varied to me.

提案: 回答清楚并给出理由，但有口语填词（umm）、重复（go there twice）和部分不自然短语（“make a merry good the memories”）。建议删去填词，使用一到两句说明原因并具体化期待的活动或感受。

例: I'd love to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris because I've seen many stunning photos and videos of it. I hope to go there with my family, take photos from the observation deck, and enjoy the city views together.

提案: 回答表达了观点并给出理由，但句子结构重复且部分用词不够地道（“very late night”应为“late at night”），细节可以更具体。建议用一到两句直接回答并用连词补充具体原因和生活感受。

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because it offers great views of the city lights at night. It would also feel cozy if friends or family visited and we could enjoy the skyline together.

× Yes, there are a lot of tall beauties and skyscrapers surrounding my home, and I often see those buildings outside my window because it's really close to my bedroom.

✓ Yes, there are a lot of tall buildings and skyscrapers surrounding my home, and I often see them outside my window because they're very close to my bedroom.

原句中用到“beauties”来指高楼不合适，应该用“buildings”。另外“those buildings outside my window because it's really close to my bedroom”存在指代和主谓一致问题：'those buildings' 用复数，后面不应用单数代词“it”。改为“them”或将“it's”改为“they're”。建议：用合适的名词（buildings），并保持代词与先行词在数上保持一致。

× So when I get up and over the curtain I can see those very gorgeous skyscrapers there.

✓ So when I get up and open the curtains, I can see those very gorgeous skyscrapers.

原句“get up and over the curtain”结构不自然且语义模糊，应使用常见表达“get up and open the curtains”。同时“curtain”通常用复数“curtains”。建议使用常见固定搭配并注意可数名词复数形式。

× Well, I hardly take photos of buildings because for me I think those buildings are too normal and I can see them every day outside my window.

✓ Well, I hardly take photos of buildings because, to me, those buildings are too ordinary and I can see them every day outside my window.

原句中“for me I think”重复表达意见且冗余，可简化为“to me”。“too normal”不地道，应改为“too ordinary”。建议：避免重复表达，使用更自然的形容词。

× So I think it's not necessary to take photos of buildings.

✓ So I don't think it's necessary to take photos of buildings.

原句语序可以接受，但更自然的说法是“I don't think it's necessary...”。建议使用更地道的句型以表达否定意见。

× And I think I'm not very interested in the structure of beauty and I think that is very boring.

✓ And I think I'm not very interested in the structure of buildings; I find that very boring.

“structure of beauty”不合逻辑且不符合语境，应为“structure of buildings”或“building structures”。句中多次使用“I think”显得重复，且“that”指代不明，改为“I find that”更自然。建议：使用准确名词并减少重复表达。

× So I do not like take photos of it.

✓ So I do not like taking photos of them.

在动词“like”后需使用动名词形式“taking”而非动词原形“take”。另外“it”指代复数“buildings”不当，应使用“them”。建议：注意动词搭配需使用动名词，并保持代词数的一致。

× Yeah, I really like to visit the Eiffel Tower, which is in Paris, umm, because I have seen a lot of photos or videos on Tiktok that looks very gorgeous and stunning.

✓ Yeah, I would really like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris because I've seen a lot of photos and videos on TikTok that look very gorgeous and stunning.

“like to visit”可改为“would like to visit”更符合表达愿望。“that looks”主语应为复数“photos and videos”，动词用“look”。另外“Tiktok”拼写为“TikTok”，并用“and”连接“photos and videos”。建议：注意时态表达愿望用条件式/情态动词，主谓在数上一致，并注意专有名词拼写。

× So I really want to go there and go there with my friends or with my family and to make a merry good the memories there.

✓ So I really want to go there with my friends or my family and make some happy memories there.

原句重复“go there and go there”，且“to make a merry good the memories”语序和词汇错误。改为“make some happy memories”更地道。建议：避免重复，使用常见搭配“make memories”，形容词放在名词前并注意词序。

× Well, maybe I want to live in tall buildings, because when I live in tall buildings, when I look out of the window, I can see the whole views of the cities at very late night when the cities turn on all lights.

✓ Well, maybe I would like to live in a tall building, because when I live in a tall building and look out of the window, I can see the whole view of the city at night when the city turns on all the lights.

“live in tall buildings”与后文“the whole views of the cities”不一致，表述更自然的是单数“a tall building”与“the whole view of the city”。“at very late night”不地道，改为“at night”。“turn on all lights”应为“turn on all the lights”。建议：注意单复数一致、使用地道短语并正确使用定冠词。

× That's very stunning, I think. And if people stay with me, I think it's very warm too.

✓ I think that's very stunning. And if people stay with me, I think it would feel very cozy too.

“very warm”用来形容感觉时更自然的词是“cozy”或“warm and cozy”，且前后时态/语气一致可用“would feel”表示假设。将句子拆分更清晰。建议：选择更恰当的形容词并注意语气一致性。