Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly answer the question with one clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid vague or incorrect word choices (e.g. “public” and “wearable” are wrong here). Use linking words to connect ideas and keep to 2–4 short sentences.

例: Yes. I live in Guangzhou and there are many tall buildings nearby because it is a major commercial and residential centre. For example, several skyscraper clusters and new apartment towers have appeared in the last decade, which shows how fast the city has developed.

提案: Start with a direct yes/no and give specific reasons and examples. Use clearer vocabulary (e.g. “it depends” instead of “dependent on us”), and avoid long, unclear phrases. Use one linking word when adding a reason or example.

例: Yes, I often take photos of interesting buildings. For example, when I visit historic or modern landmarks I photograph their details because they reflect the city’s culture and history.

提案: Give a specific building name or clear description and explain why you want to visit using concrete reasons. Avoid unclear or invented words (“oblivions”, “Connector”) and repetition. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like “because” or “because of” to show reason.

例: Yes. I would like to visit the old colonial mansion near the river, which was built about 100 years ago by a local businessman. I’m interested because it has historical architecture and stories that reflect the city’s past.

提案: Answer directly and give clear, specific reasons with correct grammar and vocabulary. Avoid hesitations and incomplete sentences. Use linking words (e.g. “because”, “for example”) and give one or two concrete drawbacks or conditions.

例: Not really, because living in a tall building can be inconvenient. For example, I often have to wait several minutes for the elevator, and it would be difficult for me if I had mobility problems in the future.

× It is a very public city so the tall buildings mainly for commercial purpose and residential purpose.

✓ It is a very populous city, so the tall buildings are mainly for commercial and residential purposes.

Wrong use of 'there be' pattern and missing verb. 'It is a very public city' is incorrect word choice; use 'populous'. The sentence also needs a linking verb 'are' to state existence/function and plural 'purposes'. Suggest using 'are mainly for commercial and residential purposes' to be grammatical.

× I was impressed how fast changing in my hometown.

✓ I was impressed by how fast my hometown is changing.

Tense and structure error: 'fast changing' needs a subject and auxiliary; use present continuous 'is changing' to describe ongoing change. Use 'impressed by' to link the feeling to the clause.

× So there's a lot of tall buildings around there.

✓ So there are a lot of tall buildings around there.

Subject-verb agreement with 'there is/there are': 'a lot of tall buildings' is plural, so use 'there are' not 'there's'.

× I suggest you can take a visit from there and it is a livable and wearable city.

✓ I suggest you visit there; it is a livable and walkable city.

'Take a visit from there' is unnatural; 'suggest you visit' is correct. 'Wearable' is wrong in this context; likely meant 'walkable' to describe a city. Use concise phrasing.

× Well, it's quite dependent on us.

✓ Well, it quite depends on the situation.

'Dependent on us' is awkward and unclear. Use 'depends on' with the appropriate subject; 'it depends on the situation' fits context. Present tense 'depends' is correct.

× The circumstances leave the building is unique and attractive.

✓ The circumstances make the building unique and attractive.

Original mixes structures incorrectly. Use 'make' to indicate cause: 'The circumstances make the building unique and attractive.' This is clear and grammatical.

× I will definitely capture the moments when I visit the building and it embeds the integrated culture and implies the cultural backgrounds and context for with my city, which is very impressive and dynamic.

✓ I will definitely capture the moments when I visit the buildings; they reflect the blended culture and convey the cultural background and context of my city, which is very impressive and dynamic.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference: 'the moments... it embeds' is wrong—use plural 'they' to refer to buildings/moments. 'Integrated culture' better as 'blended culture'; 'implies the cultural backgrounds and context for with my city' is ungrammatical—use 'convey the cultural background and context of my city.'

× Yes, I remember the oblivions that supply almost 100 years ago.

✓ Yes, I remember the buildings that were built almost 100 years ago.

'Oblivions that supply' is meaningless here. Use 'buildings that were built almost 100 years ago' and passive past 'were built' to indicate construction time.

× It was built by the local billionaire 100 years ago.

✓ It was built by a local billionaire 100 years ago.

Change 'the local billionaire' to 'a local billionaire' unless a specific person has been previously mentioned. Past tense 'was built' is correct.

× It represents a spirit at with my nation.

✓ It represents the spirit of my nation.

Incorrect preposition and structure: 'at with' is wrong. Use 'the spirit of my nation' to express intended meaning.

× There's a deep that has a deep, deep meaning behind the building and the stories for Connector.

✓ There is a deep meaning behind the building and its stories.

Redundant and ungrammatical phrasing: 'There's a deep that has a deep, deep meaning' should be simplified to 'There is a deep meaning behind the building and its stories.' Remove unclear word 'Connector' unless it names something specific.

× Not really because our tall buildings brings a lot of inconvenience for me.

✓ Not really, because our tall buildings bring a lot of inconvenience to me.

Subject-verb agreement: 'buildings' is plural, so use 'bring' not 'brings'. Also use 'inconvenience to me' rather than 'for me.'

× Uh, after catch up the elevators and wait for four few minutes to get in the lift and go to the top of the building.

✓ I have to catch the elevator and wait for four or five minutes to get in the lift and go to the top of the building.

Ungrammatical verb form 'after catch up the elevators' should be 'I have to catch the elevator' or 'after catching the elevator.' 'Four few minutes' is wrong; use 'four or five minutes.'

× It brings a lot of inconvenience for me and a little umm, travel.

✓ It causes me a lot of inconvenience and makes traveling a bit difficult.

Awkward phrasing: 'brings a lot of inconvenience for me' better as 'causes me a lot of inconvenience.' 'a little umm, travel' unclear—use 'makes traveling a bit difficult.'

× If I get older, I.

✓ If I get older, I would prefer to live in a low-rise building.

Original fragment lacks a main clause after the conditional 'If I get older.' Provide a completion such as 'I would prefer to live in a low-rise building' to make a complete sentence and match the conditional idea.