Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition and fix word order and articles (e.g., 'near my home', 'the tallest building').

例: Yes. There are many tall buildings near my home, mostly office towers. For example, the tallest building in Nanjing is visible from my apartment and houses numerous companies.

提案: Use clearer vocabulary and correct verb forms. Give one specific reason and an example, using linking words like 'because' or 'for example'. Avoid filler and repeated words.

例: Sometimes I photograph buildings, especially at sunset, because the long shadows create dramatic shapes. For example, I often take photos of the skyline to capture how light emphasizes the city's architecture.

提案: Give a direct answer and provide clear details. If unsure of a name, describe the building and why you want to visit it. Use linking words like 'because' to explain your reason.

例: Yes. I would like to visit The Shard in London, which is near London Bridge station, because it offers panoramic views of the city from its observation deck.

提案: Be concise and correct grammar: use a clear topic sentence, then one precise reason. Avoid awkward phrases like 'makes my mind clearly' and subjective exaggerations. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because the views would be beautiful every morning and help me feel relaxed and inspired.

× Yes, there are so many tall buildings in my near my home.

✓ Yes, there are so many tall buildings near my home.

The phrase 'in my near my home' incorrectly repeats and misorders prepositions and possessive. Use the correct preposition 'near' followed by the noun phrase 'my home'. Remove the extra 'in' and duplicate words.

× They are all the place to for all the place for the working area.

✓ They are all used as office buildings in the working area.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and redundant ('place to for all the place for'). Recast the idea with a clear subject and verb: 'They are all used as office buildings' and add a clear modifier 'in the working area' to express purpose/location.

× Especially there is a highest tallest building in Nanjing.

✓ There is a very tall building in Nanjing.

Using 'highest tallest' is redundant and incorrect. Choose one adjective and use appropriate modifiers. 'Very tall' or 'the tallest' are correct depending on meaning. If you mean the single tallest in the city, write 'the tallest building in Nanjing'. If not, 'a very tall building' is better.

× Yeah, sometimes I like the shadowing when the sunset coming, the shadowing in the on the on the on the building.

✓ Yeah, sometimes I like the shadows when the sun sets on the buildings.

'Shadowing' is unnatural here; use the noun 'shadows'. 'When the sunset coming' lacks auxiliary and correct noun/verb forms — use 'when the sun sets'. Remove repeated prepositions 'in the on the on the on the' and use 'on the buildings' to show location.

× And that shadowing can shows the city's economy.

✓ And those shadows can show the city's economy.

'Can' is a modal and should be followed by the base verb 'show', not 'shows'. Also 'shadowing' is better as 'shadows' and plural agrees with 'those'. This fixes subject-verb agreement and word choice.

× Yes, there is a building I want to visit in London, that is, which is out of the London Bridge station and the building is called. Sharp. I don't know what exactly name of it.

✓ Yes, there is a building I want to visit in London. It is near London Bridge station and is called The Shard, though I'm not sure of the exact name.

The original has fragmented clauses and incorrect relative clause 'which is out of'. Use clear sentences: 'It is near London Bridge station' and provide the building name. 'The Shard' is correct; include a phrase expressing uncertainty correctly: 'I'm not sure of the exact name.'

× Sure, I mean living in a tall building means that the views every morning I wake up to see is so good and that will makes my mind clearly and makes myself think that I am a kind of brilliant.

✓ Sure, I mean living in a tall building would mean that the views I wake up to every morning are beautiful, and that would clear my mind and make me feel more inspired.

Multiple tense and agreement issues: 'means' should be conditional 'would mean' to match hypothetical desire. 'The views ... is' needs plural verb 'are'. 'Will makes' is incorrect; use 'would clear' or 'would make'. 'Makes myself think that I am a kind of brilliant' is awkward; better: 'make me feel more inspired' or 'make me feel brilliant.' Use consistent conditional/modal verbs and correct subject-verb agreement.