Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 표현을 바로잡고 문장을 간결하게 구성하세요. 중복된 표현(예: “I live” 두 번)과 단수/복수 오류(“hotel building” → “hotel buildings” 또는 “tall buildings”)를 피하고, 연결어를 사용해 이유를 명확히 제시하세요. 예: 주제 문장(예: “Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home.”) → 이유 문장(“because I live in Seoul, a large and densely populated city.”).

例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because I live in Seoul, which is a large and densely populated city.

提案: 표현의 정확성과 어휘 선택을 개선하세요. ‘pizza produce’ 같은 의미 불명확한 어휘를 피하고, 복수형과 관사 사용(‘mountain’ → ‘mountains’, ‘I usually take photo’ → ‘I usually take photos’)을 고치세요. 또한 이유를 자연스럽게 연결어로 연결해 문장을 매끄럽게 만드세요. 예: 주제 문장 → 선호 이유 → 구체적 상황(언제 찍는지).

例: No, I don't usually take photos of buildings. I prefer photographing natural scenery, such as mountains and the sea, because I enjoy capturing peaceful landscapes, especially when I travel.

提案: 동사 형태와 어순을 바로잡으세요(‘it offer’ → ‘it offers’, ‘fashion brand’ → ‘fashion brands’). 문장을 2~3개로 나눠 더 자연스럽게 말하고, 연결어를 사용해 이유들을 정리하세요. 또한 불필요한 반복(‘so I want to go there’)을 줄이세요.

例: Yes, I'd like to visit the Hyundai Department Store because it offers a wide range of shops and good dining options. I'm especially interested in exploring the different fashion brands there.

提案: 시제와 표현을 정확히 사용하세요. ‘I honestly live’의 의미가 모호하므로 ‘actually’ 또는 ‘currently’로 바꾸고, 문장을 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 반복되는 ‘I like’ 대신 이유를 구체적으로 설명해 문장을 풍부하게 만드세요(예: 전망, 편의시설, 교통 등).

例: Yes, I do. I currently live in a 49-floor building and I enjoy it because the view from my apartment is amazing and the building has convenient facilities.

× Yes, there are many hotel building because I live in I live Seoul, so will a many tall building.

✓ Yes, there are many hotel buildings because I live in Seoul, so there are many tall buildings.

The noun 'building' should be plural 'buildings' after 'many'. Remove duplicate phrase 'I live'. Replace 'will a many tall building' with 'there are many tall buildings' to convey existence. Suggestion: check subject and noun number and avoid repeated phrases.

× Actually, no I don't. I prefer taking photos of natural scenery such as mountain and sea because I enjoy capturing pizza produce. I usually take photo when I travel.

✓ Actually, no, I don't. I prefer taking photos of natural scenery such as mountains and the sea because I enjoy capturing beautiful scenes. I usually take photos when I travel.

Use plural 'mountains' and add article 'the' before 'sea'. 'Take photo' should be 'take photos'. 'Capturing pizza produce' is nonsensical; replaced with 'capturing beautiful scenes'. Present participle 'taking' is fine but surrounding nouns need number and article corrections. Suggestion: ensure nouns match count and use appropriate collocations.

× Uh, yes, I'd like to visit the Hyundai department store because it offer a wide range of shops and good dining options, and I'm interested in exploring the different fashion brand so I want to go there.

✓ Uh, yes, I'd like to visit the Hyundai department store because it offers a wide range of shops and good dining options, and I'm interested in exploring the different fashion brands, so I want to go there.

Verb 'offer' must be 'offers' to agree with singular subject 'the Hyundai department store' (subject-verb agreement). 'Fashion brand' should be plural 'brands' when talking about multiple types. Added a comma before 'so' for clarity. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and pluralize countable nouns when appropriate.

× Yes I do, I honestly live in a tall building that has 49 floors and I like. I like it because the view from my apartment is great.

✓ Yes I do. I currently live in a tall building that has 49 floors and I like it. I like it because the view from my apartment is great.

Original had awkward phrasing 'I honestly live' and sentence fragment 'and I like.' Replaced with 'I currently live' and combined 'I like it' to complete the thought. Ensure complete sentences with a clear subject and verb. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and use adverbs like 'currently' to indicate present situation.