Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise, correct grammatical mistakes, eliminate repetitions, and use linking words to connect ideas. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), then add one clear supporting detail with a linking phrase. Avoid filler words and repetition.

例: No, there are not many tall buildings near my home because I live in a residential area with mostly bungalows and duplexes. However, when I go to the city center I can see many skyscrapers, so tall buildings are more common there.

提案: Give a clear direct response, correct grammar, and explain briefly why you don't take photos. Use linking words and one specific example to support your view. Avoid contradictory phrases and unclear expressions like 'rely on just images'.

例: Not really — I don't usually take photos of buildings because I'm more interested in technical work than photography. However, I do appreciate well-composed architectural photos; for example, I enjoy looking at professional shots of modern museums online.

提案: Respond directly and avoid starting with a negative if you then name a building. Use clearer structure: topic sentence stating the building you want to visit, then provide specific reasons and a brief detail about what you would do there. Correct repetitive phrasing.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris because it is an iconic architectural landmark. I would love to walk around it and go up to the viewing platforms to see the city skyline in person.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence with one or two reasons, using cohesive linking words. Fix grammar and unclear phrases (e.g. 'taking leaves', 'assess your'). Provide a specific example of what you prefer about bungalow/duplex living (e.g. garden access, fewer stairs).

例: No, I wouldn't like to live in a tall building because I prefer the space and privacy of a bungalow or duplex. For example, living in a bungalow would allow me to have a small garden and avoid climbing many stairs or waiting for elevators.

× Well I live in a residential area and most of the buildings around are more of bungalows and duplex.

✓ Well, I live in a residential area, and most of the buildings around are bungalows and duplexes.

The phrase 'more of bungalows and duplex' is ungrammatical and awkward. Use a clear noun phrase 'are bungalows and duplexes' and pluralize 'duplex' to 'duplexes' to match 'buildings'. Also add commas for clarity.

× But when I go out cloth when I go around the city to the central district I get to see more of the skyscrapers and tall buildings.

✓ But when I go out around the city to the central district, I get to see more skyscrapers and tall buildings.

The sentence has repeated and incorrect phrase 'go out cloth when I go'; remove redundancy and unnecessary words. Add a comma after the introductory clause and remove 'of' after 'see' because 'see more skyscrapers' is correct.

× So I think they are more of the they are more of tall buildings.

✓ So I think there are more tall buildings.

The original repeats and uses 'more of' incorrectly. Use 'there are more tall buildings' to express the comparative idea clearly and grammatically.

× No really I'm not into photos and I'm more of of technical person.

✓ No, really I'm not into photos, and I'm more of a technical person.

Missing article 'a' before 'technical person' and repeated 'of'. Also add commas for natural pauses. This keeps present-tense statement correct.

× I rely on just images and not really photos.

✓ I rely on images rather than taking photos.

The phrase 'rely on just images and not really photos' is awkward. Use 'rather than taking photos' to convey contrast and natural structure.

× But yeah, I really admire beautiful photos when I see them.

✓ But yes, I really admire beautiful photos when I see them.

Stylistic: 'yeah' is informal; 'yes' is more appropriate in test context. Otherwise sentence is grammatical.

× Beautiful pictures they like one of my favorite.

✓ Beautiful pictures are one of my favorites.

Original is ungrammatical and misordered. Use 'pictures are one of my favorites' and plural 'favorites' to match 'pictures'.

× No, none at the moment. But I think maybe in the future I'll probably visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

✓ No, none at the moment. But I think maybe in the future I'll probably visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable; kept as is. 'I'll probably visit' correctly expresses future intention. No change required.

× It's been one of the famous building.

✓ It's one of the famous buildings.

'It's been one of the famous building' incorrectly uses 'been' and singular 'building'. Use 'It's one of the famous buildings' to state a fact. If past perfect intended, context doesn't support 'been'.

× I think it's among the world famous building in the world and I'll actually want to walk around the building and get to see it in person rather than picture.

✓ I think it's one of the world-famous buildings, and I'd like to walk around it and see it in person rather than just in pictures.

Fix pluralization 'buildings', add hyphen 'world-famous', change 'I'll actually want' to 'I'd like' for natural intent, and use 'in pictures' with plural and add 'just' to clarify contrast.

× Oh no, I do not consider the thought of living in a tall building.

✓ Oh no, I do not want to live in a tall building.

'Do not consider the thought of' is awkward. Use the simpler, natural expression 'do not want to live in' to convey preference.

× I rather live in a bungalow or a duplex.

✓ I'd rather live in a bungalow or a duplex.

Missing auxiliary/modal 'would' contracted to 'I'd' is needed for the structure 'would rather' to express preference.

× It's just safe for me.

✓ It's just safer for me.

Comparative 'safer' is appropriate when comparing living in bungalow/duplex versus tall building. 'Just safe' is grammatical but less natural in this context.

× I I feel more relaxed and not going through the stress of walking miles the OR even taking leaves.

✓ I feel more relaxed and would not have the stress of climbing many stairs or even taking lifts.

Original has repetition 'I I', incorrect phrase 'walking miles' (unnatural for tall buildings), 'OR' capitalized, and 'taking leaves' incorrect for elevators. Use 'climbing many stairs' or 'taking lifts/elevators' and correct modal 'would not have' for hypothetical.

× Still it's it's just better when you can easily assess your.

✓ Still, it's just better when you can easily access your home.

Original repeats 'it's' and ends abruptly with 'assess your' which is incorrect. Likely intended 'access your home'; correct verb 'access' and add noun 'home' to complete the thought.