Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail (e.g., types of buildings or how close they are). Use linking words only if adding a second point.

例: Yes. There are many tall buildings near my home because I live in the city centre. For example, there are several office towers and apartment blocks within a five‑minute walk.

提案: Improve clarity and fluency. Use a clear topic sentence, then explain when and why you take photos with specific details. Avoid filler words and correct phrasing for lighting and impressions.

例: Yes, I often photograph buildings, especially at night. When they are illuminated, the architectural details really stand out, so I take photos to capture the colours and shapes.

提案: Give a direct answer naming the place, then provide accurate, specific reasons and details. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., "bridge in Dubai", "impressive height", "famous tourist attraction"). Avoid incorrect measurements and repetitiveness.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Dubai Marina bridge because it is a famous tourist attraction. I want to see its impressive height and modern design, and I’ve read that the views from there are spectacular.

提案: Provide a clear opinion first, then give two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "because" and "also"). Improve grammar (use modal verbs and correct tense) and reduce repetition.

例: No, I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building because strong winds can make me feel unsafe. Also, I’m concerned about emergency evacuation and would prefer a low‑rise home for more peace of mind.

× Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because I live in a modern city in a modern city center.

✓ Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because I live in a modern city center.

The sentence repeats 'in a modern city' twice, which is redundancy rather than a plural error; however the phrase 'a modern city in a modern city center' is incorrect. Removing the repetition yields the correct singular noun phrase 'a modern city center.' Ensure you do not repeat the same phrase; keep singular/plural consistent and concise.

× Yes, I take the photo. I take the photo when it when they light because I think when they light, they like, they like, uh, opponents. It's very amazing.

✓ Yes, I take photos. I take photos when they are lit because I think when the buildings are lit, they look, uh, impressive. It's amazing.

Problems include count noun usage and passive present participle. 'Take the photo' should be plural 'take photos' for habitual action. 'When they light' is incorrect; use passive 'when they are lit' or active 'when they light up.' 'They like, they like, uh, opponents' is unclear; likely intended 'they look impressive.' Use 'look' (linking verb) plus adjective. Also simplify 'very amazing' to 'amazing.'

× I want the bridge hurry for in Dubai because this is the most high high most tolerated tourist buildings in the world.

✓ I want to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is one of the tallest and most popular tourist buildings in the world.

Multiple adjective errors: 'want the bridge hurry for' is meaningless; correct verb phrase 'want to visit.' 'Burj Khalifa' is likely intended. 'Most high high' should be 'tallest' (superlative). 'Most tolerated' is incorrect; use 'most popular.' Use singular/plural appropriately: 'building' not 'buildings' when referring to one. Ensure correct adjective order and correct comparative/superlative form.

× It has more than 6 meters tall.

✓ It is more than 600 meters tall.

Use correct measurement expression: when describing height, use 'is ... meters tall' or 'has a height of ... meters.' 'More than 6 meters tall' is likely wrong by magnitude; the Burj Khalifa is about 828 meters, but if original meant 6 meters, that would be too short. Correct grammar form: 'is more than X meters tall.' Ensure singular/plural 'meters' matches number.

× Not very well live in a tall building because when it will have a big wind, big windy days, the tall building will shake and I think it is danger and I don't have enough security.

✓ I would not like to live in a tall building because on very windy days the building can sway, and I think it would be dangerous and I would not feel secure enough.

Multiple tense and modal issues: 'Not very well live' is ungrammatical; use 'I would not like to live.' 'When it will have a big wind' is incorrect future after 'when'—use 'on very windy days' or 'when there is strong wind.' 'The tall building will shake' is acceptable but 'can sway' is more natural. 'It is danger' should be 'it would be dangerous.' 'I don't have enough security' should be 'I would not feel secure enough.' Use conditional/modal verbs ('would/can') to express preference and possibility.