Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm, uh), and add one specific detail to support your answer. Use one linking phrase if adding detail.

例: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home. I live in a small, quiet town called Bondoc, mostly made up of low houses and small shops, so the skyline is very low compared with the city.

提案: Be direct, reduce repetition and fillers, and use precise vocabulary (e.g., impressed/amazed, architecture, skyline). Add a brief example of the kind of buildings you photograph to make the answer specific.

例: Yes, I often photograph buildings. When I first moved to Hong Kong I was amazed by the skyline and the innovative architecture, especially the glass-and-steel skyscrapers, so I photographed them to study their design.

提案: Give a clear direct response naming the building, avoid hesitations, and explain briefly why with a specific detail (design feature or atmosphere). Use a linking phrase to connect reason.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Kai Tak sports complex. I’m attracted to its modern design and open-air seating, and I’d like to see how the architects integrated the facility into the waterfront area.

提案: Answer clearly with a topic sentence, avoid repetition and fillers, and provide one specific reason plus a brief contrasting detail if helpful. Use a linking word like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas.

例: No, I wouldn’t prefer living in a tall building because it feels inconvenient; for example, during rush hour I’d have to wait a long time for the elevator, which would be frustrating.

× There are no, umm, tall buildings there.

✓ There are no tall buildings there.

Extra filler words and commas interrupt the 'there are' construction. Use 'There are no tall buildings there' to state existence/absence clearly. Remove unnecessary pauses and punctuation.

× It's just a quiet and peaceful, uh, place.

✓ It's just a quiet and peaceful place.

Unnecessary filler and comma break the noun phrase. Remove the filler 'uh' and the comma to maintain correct noun phrase structure.

× And mostly uh. The place is just full of houses.

✓ Mostly, the place is full of houses.

Fragment caused by splitting sentence incorrectly and filler 'uh'. Combine into one sentence and place the adverb 'mostly' before the clause with a comma.

× When I first moved here in Hong Kong, I was amazed of how tall the buildings are and how the architects were able to design this kind of umm, uh, structures or buildings.

✓ When I first moved here to Hong Kong, I was amazed at how tall the buildings are and how the architects were able to design these kinds of structures.

Use 'amazed at' (correct preposition) not 'amazed of' (preposition error). Use 'moved to Hong Kong' not 'moved here in Hong Kong' for natural phrasing. Use 'these kinds of structures' (plural agreement) and remove filler words.

× So I used to, uh, take photos.

✓ So I used to take photos.

Unnecessary filler 'uh' interrupts sentence flow. 'Used to' correctly expresses habitual past; remove filler for grammatical clarity.

× MMM, a building.

✓ Hmm, a building.

Filler 'MMM' is informal and unclear; use 'Hmm' or start directly. Also a standalone fragment is informal in a test answer; better to continue the sentence.

× Well, I, I, it's not really a tall building, but I want to go to Kai Tak, umm Kai Tak, uh, sports event because this uh, infrastructure so nicely designed.

✓ Well, it's not really a tall building, but I want to go to the Kai Tak sports event because the infrastructure is so nicely designed.

Use definite article 'the' before a specific event (article error). Remove repeated fillers and duplicate 'Kai Tak'. 'Infrastructure so nicely designed' lacks verb — add 'is'. Use 'the infrastructure' for specificity.

× I would not prefer living in a tall building because I found find it inconvenient.

✓ I would not prefer living in a tall building because I find it inconvenient.

Tense/modal inconsistency: 'would not prefer' is conditional but 'found' is past; use 'find' present to match preference. Remove extra word 'found'.

× Although there are umm elevators available.

✓ Although there are elevators available,

Sentence is a fragment; 'although' introduces a subordinate clause that must be connected to a main clause. Remove filler and keep comma to link to following main clause.

× But I don't like waiting uh for few minutes just to get in and if it's a rush hour.

✓ I don't like waiting for a few minutes to get in when it's rush hour.

Avoid starting sentence with 'But' in this context and remove filler 'uh'. Include the article 'a' before 'few minutes'. Use 'when it's rush hour' rather than 'and if it's a rush hour' for correct conjunction and clarity.