Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and grammatically correct: start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, limit to 2–3 sentences, and avoid fragmented or incorrect words. Add one supporting detail with a linking word. Pronunciation/word choice errors (e.g., “Singer”, “Highs”) should be corrected to “since” or removed and “high-rise”.

例: Yes. My neighborhood has many tall buildings because it is a rapidly developing area. For example, high-rise apartments and office towers are visible from almost every corner of the street.

提案: Use natural verbs and correct grammar: answer directly, then give a specific reason and a linking word. Avoid filler sounds and incorrect verbs (“thrilled to buildings”, “spoke”, “snake”). Replace with phrases like “I enjoy photographing buildings” and “I usually take a quick photo”. Keep it concise.

例: Occasionally, yes. I enjoy photographing buildings with unique architecture, and when I see an impressive design I usually take a quick photo to share on my social media.

提案: This answer did not address the question. Stay relevant: name a building you want to visit, state one reason, and add a specific detail with a linking word. Avoid hesitations and unrelated comments about living on a high floor. Be concise (1–2 sentences).

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa because it offers incredible views from the observation deck; for example, you can see the whole city and the coastline from the top.

提案: Answer directly and correct word choice/grammar. Use one clear topic sentence expressing your preference, then add a specific supporting reason with a linking word. Replace unclear words (“revises”, “hostel and Bristol at row level”) with precise vocabulary like “privacy” and “street level”.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because it gives more privacy and a stunning view of the city skyline. In addition, it is usually much quieter than living at street level.

× Actually, my neighborhood is packed with skyscraper Singer live in a rapidly developing area. Highs, high rise apartments and office towers are visible from almost every corner of the street.

✓ Actually, my neighborhood is packed with skyscrapers; I live in a rapidly developing area. High-rise apartments and office towers are visible from almost every corner of the street.

The original contains multiple sentence structure problems: 'skyscraper Singer live' seems to be garbled and lacks proper verb separation. 'Skyscraper' should be plural 'skyscrapers' (singular/plural issue) and 'I live' must be a separate clause. 'Highs, high rise' is incorrect word choice and punctuation; 'High-rise' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective. Correct by splitting into clear sentences and fixing plural and hyphenation. Suggestion: Separate ideas into two sentences, use plural for countable nouns when appropriate, and hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns.

× Occasionally, yes. I'm particularly thrilled to buildings with unique, uh, architecture.

✓ Occasionally, yes. I'm particularly thrilled by buildings with unique architecture.

The phrase 'thrilled to buildings' uses an incorrect verb/preposition combination. 'Thrilled by' (or 'thrilled with') is the correct collocation when indicating what causes excitement. Also remove filler 'uh' and the comma before 'architecture' is unnecessary. Suggestion: Use correct preposition after 'thrilled' and omit unnecessary filler words.

× If I spoke a structure with an impressive design, I usually snake a quick photo to share on my social media.

✓ If I see a structure with an impressive design, I usually take a quick photo to share on my social media.

Several errors: 'spoke' is wrong tense/word — should be 'see' (present) to match habitual action. 'Snake' is a wrong verb, should be 'take' when referring to photos. The conditional structure 'If I see..., I usually...' requires present simple in the if-clause for habitual actions. Suggestion: Use correct verbs and present simple for general habits.

× Definitely living on a high floor offers a great stand up, uh, privacy, uh, and a stunning view of the city skyline is almost uh.

✓ Definitely. Living on a high floor offers a great sense of privacy and a stunning view of the city skyline.

Original has word choice and sentence fragmentation issues: 'stand up' should be 'sense', extraneous filler 'uh' interrupts flow, and 'is almost uh' is incoherent. Remove fillers and combine into a clear sentence. Suggestion: Use 'sense of privacy' and avoid filler words to produce a fluent sentence.

× It's also much uh, quieter compared to the history and Bristol at around level.

✓ It's also much quieter compared to the houses and buildings at street level.

Original contains wrong words 'history and Bristol' likely misrecognitions; intended comparison is 'houses and buildings' or 'hostels and bustle'. Also remove filler 'uh' and use 'compared to' with the correct nouns. Suggestion: Ensure correct nouns when comparing and avoid fillers.

× Definitely leaving on a high floor offer a rare sense of revises and stunning view of the city skyline is on.

✓ Definitely. Living on a high floor offers a rare sense of privacy and a stunning view of the city skyline.

Many errors: 'leaving' should be 'living', 'offer' should be 'offers' to agree with singular subject, 'revises' is incorrect — likely 'privacy', and the clause 'is on' is extraneous. Fix subject-verb agreement and word choice, and remove unnecessary fragments. Suggestion: Use correct verb forms and noun choices and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× So much quieter compared to the hostel and Bristol at row level.

✓ It's much quieter compared to the hostel and bustle at street level.

Original contains incorrect words 'Bristol' and 'row' likely misrecognitions for 'bustle' and 'street'. Also sentence fragment lacks subject; add 'It's' to complete the sentence. Suggestion: Use accurate vocabulary for contrast and include a subject for clarity.