Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason with a linking word. Avoid filler words like “umm” and correct singular/plural and preposition errors.

例: No, there aren’t many tall buildings near my home because I live in a suburban area. The neighbourhood is mainly low-rise houses and small shops, so large developments haven’t reached us yet.

提案: Give a direct answer, use natural phrases, and provide one specific example of when or why you take photos. Replace awkward idioms and fix grammar and prepositions.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing buildings and landscapes because photos help me remember places I’ve visited; for example, I always take pictures of old temples when I travel.

提案: Answer directly and correct factual and grammatical mistakes. State the building clearly, give one specific reason, and avoid uncertain phrasing like “kind of.” Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Pentagon, which is the headquarters of the US Department of Defense. I find its history and the scale of its operations fascinating, and I’m curious about how such a large organisation functions day to day.

提案: Be clear and concise. Start with a direct statement, then give one or two specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Correct tense and phrasing, and avoid repetition and errors like “IA” or double words.

例: No, I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building. After last year’s earthquake in Thailand, I feel low-rise buildings would be safer and easier to evacuate, and I’m also uncomfortable with heights.

× No, because my home is in umm suburb area so that there is no many tall building because the development is not growing through my community yet.

✓ No, because my home is in a suburban area, so there are not many tall buildings because development has not reached my community yet.

Errors: 'suburb area' should be 'suburban area' (adjective form) and needs an article 'a'; 'there is no many tall building' is wrong combination of singular verb and quantifier—use 'there are not many tall buildings' for plural; 'the development is not growing through my community yet' is awkward and incorrect tense/verb choice—use 'development has not reached my community yet' to indicate progress up to now. Suggestion: use correct adjective forms, match plural nouns with 'are', and use present perfect to show ongoing change affecting the present.

× Of course, because taking photograph is one of my cup of tea so that I really enjoy taking pictures about landscapes so that I will have some memories about that place.

✓ Of course, because taking photographs is one of my cups of tea, so I really enjoy taking pictures of landscapes to have some memories of a place.

Errors: 'taking photograph' needs plural 'photographs'; 'one of my cup of tea' should be 'one of my cups of tea' (correct idiom and plural); 'taking pictures about landscapes' should be 'taking pictures of landscapes' (preposition error); 'so that I will have some memories about that place' is wordy and uses 'about' incorrectly—use 'to have some memories of a place'. Suggestion: use correct idiomatic expressions, plural forms for 'one of my cups', and correct prepositions ('of' not 'about').

× Yes, I have heard about it since I was a child. Is the Pentagon building with which is the headquarter of U.S. Navy, because it's kind of very interesting in my opinion and I want to know about the people working in there.

✓ Yes, I have known about it since I was a child. It is the Pentagon building, which is the headquarters of the U.S. Department of Defense; I find it very interesting and I want to learn about the people who work there.

Errors: 'have heard about it since I was a child' mixes 'heard' with 'since'—use 'have known' or 'have heard of' with clarity; 'Is the Pentagon building with which is the headquarter of U.S. Navy' is ungrammatical—use a clear clause 'It is the Pentagon building, which is the headquarters of the U.S. ...'; 'headquarter' should be plural 'headquarters'; U.S. Navy is not the Pentagon's sole occupant—use 'U.S. Department of Defense' or drop specific branch; 'it's kind of very interesting in my opinion' is redundant—use 'I find it very interesting'; 'people working in there' should be 'people who work there' (pronoun and preposition). Suggestion: use relative clauses correctly, correct noun forms, and clearer phrasing for opinions and who-clauses.

× No, because as last year Thailand had earthquake situation. So I think that if if evacuate will be easier if you live in the low rise building and it will be safer. So IA bit afraid of the height so maybe I prefer more.

✓ No, because last year Thailand had an earthquake. I think evacuation would be easier if you live in a low-rise building, and it would be safer. I am a bit afraid of heights, so I would prefer that.

Errors: 'as last year Thailand had earthquake situation' is awkward—use 'last year Thailand had an earthquake' and include the article 'an'; 'if if evacuate will be easier if you live' duplicates 'if' and uses wrong word order and tense—use conditional 'evacuation would be easier if you live'; 'low rise building' needs hyphen 'low-rise building' and article 'a'; 'IA bit afraid of the height' has typo and wrong noun form—use 'I am a bit afraid of heights'; 'maybe I prefer more' is unclear—use 'I would prefer that'. Suggestion: use correct articles, conditionals (would + base verb) for hypothetical results, hyphenate compound adjectives, and correct idiomatic expressions for fear of heights.