Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は意味が通じますが、文法ミスと不自然な表現（"need research restaurants", "gaze the window"）、冗長な繰り返し（"I finish everything" が二回）があります。改善点：1) シンプルで正確な主文を最初に置く（topic sentence）。2) 不要な繰り返しを避け、具体例を一つ入れる。3) 自然な語彙を使う（"look out" や "relax"、"prepare" の適切な形）。4) 接続詞で文をつなぎ、流れを良くする（e.g. "because", "so"）。

例: It depends. If I need to research restaurants on my phone, I usually focus on that first, but once I'm done I relax and look out of the window to enjoy the view.

提案: 意味は伝わりますが、文法や語順の誤りが目立ちます（"the car is passed away quickly", "take photo"）。また、接続表現を改善して理由と条件を明確に述べると良いです。改善点：1) 自然な時制と受動/能動の使い方（"the car passes by" や "the scenery goes by quickly"）。2) 単数/複数の名詞形を正しく使う（"a photo" または "photos"）。3) 条件を示す表現を簡潔に（"if I have time"）。

例: It depends. When the scenery goes by quickly I can't get my camera ready, so I usually don't take photos, but if I have time to prepare, I like to take photos of interesting views.

提案: 内容は個性的で興味深いですが、表現をより自然で具体的にすると点が上がります（"connect with my subconscious mind/body" はやや抽象的）。改善点：1) トピックセンテンスで明確に好みを示す（"I like both, but..."）。2) 理由を具体的にし、例を加える（海なら散歩や海風、山ならハイキングや新鮮な空気）。3) 接続詞で文を滑らかにつなぐ（"because", "while"）。

例: I like both, but for different reasons: the sea helps me relax and clear my mind because of the sound of the waves, while the mountains make me feel more active and healthy because I enjoy hiking and breathing fresh air.

× I can be relaxed and gaze the window.

✓ I can relax and gaze at the window.

'be relaxed' is grammatically possible but sounds unnatural here; better is the verb 'relax'. Also 'gaze the window' lacks the necessary preposition 'at' after 'gaze'. Use 'relax' (base verb) to match ability 'can' and 'gaze at' to show direction of gaze.

× If I need research restaurants, I can't look out the windows, but I finish everything.

✓ If I need to research restaurants, I can't look out the window, but I finish everything first.

Missing infinitive marker 'to' after 'need' (need to research). 'Windows' should be singular 'window' when referring to the vehicle window in general. Added 'first' to clarify sequence; otherwise sentence is awkward. This fixes verb form and noun number.

× It also depends because the car is passed away quickly so I can't prepare my camera.

✓ It also depends because the car passes by quickly, so I can't get my camera ready.

'passed away' is incorrect (means 'die'). Use 'passes by' for movement past something. 'prepare my camera' is acceptable but 'get my camera ready' is more natural. Added comma before 'so' for clarity.

× But if I have enough time to prepare my camera, I'd like to take photo.

✓ But if I have enough time to prepare my camera, I'd like to take a photo.

Missing article 'a' before 'photo'. Also 'prepare my camera' is fine; no change to tense. This corrects the article error.

× If I go to the sea, I can connect with my subconscious mind and if I go to the mountain I can connect with my body.

✓ If I go to the sea, I can connect with my subconscious mind, and if I go to the mountains, I can connect with my body.

Use plural 'mountains' when speaking generally. Added comma before 'and' to separate clauses. This fixes noun number and punctuation.