Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng hơn, tránh lặp từ và hoàn thiện ngữ pháp. Nên mở đầu bằng một câu chủ đề ngắn, sau đó bổ sung 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể với liên từ thích hợp. Chú ý chia động từ (e.g., "when I'm travelling") và kết thúc câu đầy đủ để người nghe hiểu ý muốn diễn đạt.

例: Yes, I do. I always enjoy looking out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I can notice how landscapes and buildings change between towns and countryside. For example, I often see different styles of houses and farmlands, which makes the journey more interesting.

提案: Tránh dùng nhiều từ lặp (like, OK, yeah) và hoàn thành ý tưởng. Nên có câu chủ đề rõ ràng rồi nêu lý do và một ví dụ cụ thể. Dùng từ liên kết như "because" hoặc "so" để câu mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window because it helps me remember interesting places. For instance, I usually photograph colourful markets or unusual buildings and later share them with my friends or keep them in my photo album.

提案: Câu trả lời tương đối rõ ràng nhưng cần tránh tiếng ừ à (uh, OK, yeah) và mở rộng ý bằng 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể khác (ví dụ hoạt động yêu thích, cảm xúc hoặc so sánh ngắn). Sử dụng cấu trúc mạch lạc: câu chủ đề + lý do + ví dụ.

例: I prefer the sea because I find the sound of the waves very relaxing and it helps me unwind. I also enjoy walking along the shore and swimming, which makes beach trips a great way to relax and recharge.

× Yes I do I really enjoy looking at looking out to see the scenery when I'm traveling by a bus or a car yeah I can see the difference between the places when I traveling on it and and it make me feel like I.

✓ Yes, I do. I really enjoy looking out to see the scenery when I'm travelling by bus or car. I can see the differences between places when I travel, and it makes me feel happy.

The original contains multiple present tense and subject-verb agreement errors. 'I'm traveling by a bus or a car' is awkward: articles before modes of transport are unnecessary in English; use 'by bus or car' or no article. 'when I traveling on it' lacks the auxiliary 'am' or should be 'when I travel' (simple present). 'and it make me' should be 'it makes me' to agree with singular subject. Suggestions: use consistent present simple or present continuous as appropriate: 'I enjoy looking out' (present simple for habitual action), 'when I'm travelling' (present continuous for ongoing), or 'when I travel' (present simple). Ensure subject-verb agreement (he/she/it + -s) and omit unnecessary articles with modes of transport.

× Absolutely, yes. I really like it. OK. I really like to use my phone to like, capture all the beautiful scenes that I see on the way to the places. Yeah, to the destination. And when I look at it, I can. When I look back at it, I can.

✓ Absolutely. I really like it. I often use my phone to capture all the beautiful scenes I see on the way to my destination. When I look back at the photos, I can remember the trip.

The original has fragmented and repetitive sentences and colloquial filler words ('like' repeated). 'on the way to the places' is awkward; use 'on the way to my destination'. Phrases 'when I look at it, I can. When I look back at it, I can.' are incomplete (sentence without a verb/predicate). Suggestions: remove unnecessary fillers, combine short fragments into complete sentences, and complete the intended meaning (e.g., 'I can remember the trip' or 'I can relive the moment').

× If I have to choose, I will choose the sea because I love the sounds of the waves when I can lie down on the beach and enjoy myself. Uh, OK, yeah.

✓ If I had to choose, I would choose the sea because I love the sound of the waves when I lie down on the beach and enjoy myself.

The conditional 'If I have to choose, I will choose' is acceptable but more natural to use the second conditional 'If I had to choose, I would choose' for hypothetical preference. 'the sounds of the waves' can be singular 'the sound of the waves' or 'sounds' both acceptable; choose 'sound' for cohesion. 'when I can lie down' is unnecessary modal 'can'—use simple present 'when I lie down' for habitual or general truths. Suggestions: use appropriate conditional form for hypothetical choices and avoid redundant modals.