Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural by correcting grammar, using a clear topic sentence and adding one specific detail. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences) and use a linking word if you add detail. For example, correct articles and verb forms, and replace vague phrases like "a scenery" with "the scenery" or "scenery" and "go on trip" with "go on a trip".

例: Yes, I usually look out the window when I travel by car. For example, I enjoy watching the changing countryside because it helps me learn about local life and relax during long journeys.

提案: Improve clarity and coherence by removing hesitation sounds, using a topic sentence, and linking ideas with words like "but" or "however." Correct the phrase "slip my smartphone" to "drop my smartphone" and specify when you take photos. Keep it concise and natural.

例: Sometimes I do, but it depends on the situation. If the view is especially beautiful and I'm a passenger, I'll take photos, but I avoid taking pictures while I'm driving because I might drop my smartphone.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and correct grammar ("like see" → "like to see", "from beach" → "from the beach"). Add one specific reason or brief comparison and a linking word such as "because" or "so" to make the answer coherent and natural.

例: I prefer the sea to the mountains because I love swimming and watching sunsets on the beach. Also, the ocean atmosphere relaxes me more than hiking in the mountains.

× Yes, when I go on trip by car I always see a scenery from window because it's fun to see a local landscape.

✓ Yes, when I go on a trip by car I always see scenery from the window because it's fun to see the local landscape.

The sentence uses incorrect articles. 'trip' requires the indefinite article 'a' (a trip). 'scenery' is an uncountable noun and should not take 'a' (use 'scenery' not 'a scenery'). 'window' needs the definite article 'the' because it refers to a specific window in the car. Use 'the local landscape' to refer to the particular landscape being observed. Suggestion: add 'a' before 'trip', remove 'a' before 'scenery', and add 'the' before 'window' and 'local landscape'.

× Umm, it depends on situations. Sometimes the scenery is so beautiful that I try to capture it. However, there is a risk that I slip my smartphone.

✓ Umm, it depends on the situation. Sometimes the scenery is so beautiful that I try to capture it. However, there is a risk that I might drop my smartphone.

'Situations' is awkward here; use the singular phrase 'the situation' to express dependence on context. 'Slip my smartphone' is incorrect collocation; native speakers say 'drop my smartphone' or 'lose grip on my smartphone'. Also add modal 'might' to express possibility ('there is a risk that I might drop'). Suggestions: use 'the situation' and replace 'slip' with 'drop' and include 'might' to indicate possibility.

× I prefer the sea to the mountains because I like swimming and I like see the sunset from beach.

✓ I prefer the sea to the mountains because I like swimming and I like to see the sunset from the beach.

Missing infinitive marker 'to' after 'like' in 'I like see' — correct form is 'I like to see' or 'I like seeing' (verb + -ing). 'Beach' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific beach as a place. So add 'to' before 'see' and 'the' before 'beach'. Suggestion: use 'I like to see the sunset from the beach' or 'I like seeing the sunset from the beach'.