Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more concise, accurate and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details, using linking words (e.g. “because”, “so”, “for example”). Avoid repetition and correct basic grammar (subject-verb agreement and articles).

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I find the scenery relaxing. For example, watching trees and streets pass by helps me unwind after a busy day, so I usually enjoy the view instead of using my phone.

提案: Answer directly and clearly, using correct sentence structure and specific details. Use linking words to explain why you take photos and give one concrete example. Keep it to 2–4 sentences and avoid vague phrases.

例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window because I like to remember my trips. For example, I usually photograph interesting streets and tree-lined roads, and later I look at these pictures to remember each journey.

提案: Give a clear opinion in the first sentence, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words (e.g. “because”, “also”). Correct repetitions and finish sentences completely. Include a brief comparison if you mention the alternative.

例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy swimming and diving in cool water. Also, the beach atmosphere relaxes me, whereas mountains are often too hot for me and less suitable for water activities.

× Yes, of course, I absolutely.

✓ Yes, of course, absolutely.

The phrase 'I absolutely' is incomplete and uses a pronoun unnecessarily. Removing 'I' and keeping the adverb 'absolutely' fits the sentence: 'Yes, of course, absolutely.' This corrects word choice and word order by using the adverb to modify the implied agreement.

× I that is my favorite activities when I'm in the bus or a taxi because I I find it, I find that activities is interesting and peaceful for me.

✓ That is my favorite activity when I'm on the bus or in a taxi because I find it interesting and peaceful.

Multiple errors: 'I that' is ungrammatical and was removed; 'activities' should be singular 'activity' to agree with 'that' (singular), fixing subject-verb and noun number; use prepositions 'on the bus' and 'in a taxi' correctly; remove repeated fragments and redundant 'I find it,' and change 'activities is' to 'it is' or simply 'I find it interesting'. Simplify the sentence for clarity and correct subject-verb agreement.

× I think it also relax my mood and my emotion.

✓ I think it also relaxes my mood and my emotions.

The verb must agree with the singular subject 'it', so use third person singular 'relaxes'. 'Emotion' should be plural as 'emotions' to refer generally to feelings. This fixes subject-verb agreement and noun number.

× I think it's a lot in my library of my phone.

✓ I think I have a lot in the photo library on my phone.

Original phrasing is unnatural; use 'I have' to show possession and 'photo library' or 'gallery' to be clear. Use preposition 'on my phone' instead of 'of my phone'. This corrects verb usage and preposition choice.

× It has a lot of sceneries about the the street, the trees and the scenery of the of the windows in the woods and car.

✓ It has many photos of the street, the trees, the woods, and scenes seen through car windows.

Use 'many photos' rather than 'a lot of sceneries' ('scenery' is uncountable). Remove duplicate 'the'. Reorder items for clarity and use 'scenes seen through car windows' to express the idea. This corrects countability and word choice.

× I think that's pictures can remind me from every journey it's.

✓ I think those pictures can remind me of every journey.

Replace 'that's' with 'those' to refer to plural pictures. Use 'remind me of' (correct preposition) not 'remind me from'. Remove trailing 'it's'. This fixes pronoun choice, preposition, and sentence structure.

× If if I have, if I have to choose, I would like to choose the sea because I like the cool water in the sea.

✓ If I have to choose, I would pick the sea because I like the cool water.

Remove repeated 'If'. Use 'pick' or 'choose' once for conciseness. 'I like the cool water in the sea' is repetitive; 'the sea' is implied. Maintain conditional form correctly.

× I like I like swimming and I like diving.

✓ I like swimming and diving.

Repeating 'I like' is redundant. Combine activities with a single verb to be concise and natural.

× That is my favorite activities in the sea.

✓ Those are my favorite activities at sea.

'Activities' is plural, so use 'Those are' not 'That is'. Use 'at sea' or 'in the sea' consistently; 'at sea' is idiomatic. This fixes subject-verb agreement and article use.

× I like mountain enough because I think it's hot and I don't.

✓ I don't like mountains much because I think they're hot.

Original is ungrammatical. Use plural 'mountains' with 'like' and add 'much' to express limited liking. Use 'they're' to refer to mountains (plural) and remove the unfinished 'and I don't.' This corrects sentence structure and pronoun reference.