Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy, sentence structure and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add 1–2 concise supporting details using linking words (for example, "because" or "so"). Avoid repeating phrases and keep to no more than 3–4 short sentences. Focus on correct verb forms, articles, and pronouns.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I find the scenery relaxing. For example, I enjoy watching trees and people pass by, and the fresh air makes the trip more pleasant. This habit has stayed with me since childhood.

提案: Make your answer more concise and grammatically correct. Begin with a direct answer, then give a specific example and reason using linking words like "because" or "for example." Avoid sentence fragments and repeated phrases. Use past/simple present forms correctly (e.g., "I have liked" or "I like").

例: Yes, I often take photos through the car window because I love nature photography. For example, when I spot animals or a beautiful landscape, I take a quick picture to remember it. Photography has been a hobby since my childhood because it relaxes me.

提案: Answer directly, then give 1–2 specific reasons with clear linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use correct collocations ("go to the beach", "swim in the sea") and grammatically correct sentences. Keep responses to 2–3 concise sentences and include a brief personal detail or example.

例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy going to the beach and swimming in the clear blue water. I live in Australia, so beaches are a big part of my life; I love the sea breeze, the sound of waves and relaxing on the sand.

× Yes is my favorite thing when I like travel in bus and car, so is my favorite thing to look out the window because it give me comfort and also when I feel the air from the outside so it's like you feel me very good. So is my favorite hobby from the childhood.

✓ Yes, looking out the window is my favorite thing when I travel by bus or car because it gives me comfort. I also enjoy feeling the air from outside. It has been my favorite hobby since childhood.

Multiple sentence structure issues: missing subjects and verbs, incorrect verb forms and tense, and awkward phrasing. 'Yes is my favorite thing' lacks a subject for 'is' so rephrase as 'looking out the window is my favorite thing.' Use 'travel by bus or car' rather than 'travel in bus and car.' Use third person singular verb 'gives' to agree with 'it.' Use 'since childhood' to indicate starting point in the past that continues to present. Suggestions: break long run-on sentence into shorter sentences, ensure each clause has a subject and correct verb form, and use appropriate prepositions ('by bus').

× Yes, I do like to take photos outside the car window and it's my very favorite hobby because from my childhood I always love to take the picture of the nature. So whenever I see any animals, any beautiful nature scene. So I always take the picture of the beautiful nature scene is a comfort for me and is my favorite job to do so I always.

✓ Yes, I like to take photos outside the car window; it has been my favorite hobby since childhood because I have always loved photographing nature. Whenever I see animals or a beautiful natural scene, I take pictures. Taking pictures of nature is comforting for me and is my favorite activity.

Errors include sentence fragments, tense inconsistency, article misuse and awkward word order. 'From my childhood I always love' should be 'since childhood I have always loved' to match present perfect. 'Take the picture of the nature' is incorrect; use 'photograph nature' or 'take pictures of nature.' Remove fragments like 'So whenever I see any animals, any beautiful nature scene.' and connect ideas properly. Replace 'job' with 'activity' or 'hobby.' Suggestions: use complete sentences, keep tense consistent (present perfect for experiences continuing to present), and use correct collocations ('take pictures of', 'photograph nature').

× I prefer the sea because I like the beaches. I live in Australia and the beaches are very popular in Australia so I always love to go on the beach and see the beautiful water like the blue water is my favorite 1 and I always like to take bath in the water and the beach environment, beach, wind, beach you can say everything I like at the.

✓ I prefer the sea because I like beaches. I live in Australia and beaches are very popular there, so I always enjoy going to the beach and seeing the beautiful blue water. I like to swim, and I enjoy the beach environment, the wind, and everything about the beach.

Problems: awkward noun phrases, repetition, incorrect expressions and missing words. Use 'beaches' plural without 'the' in general statements. 'The beaches are very popular in Australia' -> 'beaches are very popular there' avoids repetition. 'I always love to go on the beach' -> 'I enjoy going to the beach.' 'Take bath in the water' is non-native; use 'swim' or 'bathe' and include 'in' properly. Clean up repetition ('beach' repeated) and finish the sentence. Suggestions: use natural collocations ('go to the beach', 'blue water', 'enjoy the beach environment'), avoid redundant repetition, and use verbs like 'swim' for clarity.