Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子结构需要更清晰、简洁，避免重复和语法错误。回答应先给出直接的主题句，然后用一到两句具体细节支持，用连接词使逻辑连贯。例如说明看到的景色类型或为什么觉得有趣。注意冠词和单复数形式，以及介词的正确使用。

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I enjoy watching changing landscapes such as fields, villages and city buildings, which makes the journey feel interesting and relaxing.

提案: 表达要更准确、连贯，注意时态和词序。避免重复短语并用连接词说明原因和结果。可以先回答“是”，然后说明何时拍照、拍照的目的以及给出具体例子。

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window to capture special moments. For example, I take pictures of beautiful sunsets or unusual landscapes so I can remember the trip years later.

提案: 回答要更明确并使用恰当的词汇表达情感，避免重复和不完整的句子。先给出直接选择，然后具体说明原因，使用具体感受或例子来支持，并用连词连接句子。注意用词如 “brave” 可能不合上下文，可改为“calm”, “inspired” 等。

例: I prefer the sea because being near the ocean makes me feel calm and inspired. The sound of waves helps me relax and forget everyday worries, so I often feel refreshed after visiting the coast.

× Of course I look out the window at the scenery because on the traveling we can see different scenery when past different place places.

✓ Of course I look out the window at the scenery because when traveling we can see different scenery as we pass different places.

句子结构混乱且有多余或重复词（on the traveling, past different place places）。应使用简洁的现在分词短语表示一般情况（when traveling），并用短语 as we pass different places 或 when we pass different places 来表示经过不同地方。建议：去掉多余介词和重复单词，保持句子结构清晰。

× I think we can have an interesting travel.

✓ I think we can have an interesting trip.

英文中 travel 多为不可数名词，表示“旅行”这一活动；在此语境若表示一次具体的旅行，应使用可数名词 trip 或 journey。建议：将 travel 换为 trip 或 journey，以符合可数语境。

× Yes, it is so important for me to catch the instance when we are just enjoying so that after several years when I look my photos taken that time I will memory the I will memory.

✓ Yes, it is very important for me to capture the moment when we are enjoying ourselves so that after several years, when I look at the photos taken then, I will remember it.

原句时态与用词混乱（catch the instance → capture the moment；enjoying → enjoying ourselves；look my photos taken that time → look at the photos taken then；I will memory → I will remember）。需要用正确的动词搭配和时态：capture the moment 表示捕捉瞬间，look at photos 表示查看照片，remember 用作记住。建议：使用固定搭配（capture the moment, enjoy ourselves, look at）并使用正确动词形式（remember）。

× I prefer the sea because when there is a sea in front of me, in front of me, I will feel the the the brave and on which I never fail at my at my usual life.

✓ I prefer the sea because when the sea is in front of me, I feel brave and it helps me not to fail in my usual life.

原句有第三人称用法和重复问题（there is a sea in front of me → the sea is in front of me 更自然），以及时态和主谓搭配不当（I will feel → I feel 表示习惯感受）。句中大量重复词（in front of me, the the the, at my at my）需删去。并用连贯表达（it helps me not to fail in my usual life）。建议：避免不必要的重复，习惯性感觉用一般现在时（I feel），并用清晰的从句或短语表达原因。