Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子结构需要更自然、简洁，并注意重复和语法错误。回答开头可直接回应问题，然后用一两句具体例子并用连接词衔接。注意不可超过五句，避免词汇重复（如“which is which is”“while the journey”）并修正冠词和复数形式错误。

例: I usually look out of the window if there is something interesting. For example, I enjoy watching fields with animals like sheep and cows because it feels peaceful. However, if the view is just a long road with nothing special, I often close my eyes and rest.

提案: 回答较直接但有重复和时态不一致问题（用过去事例时注意用过去式），应使用连词使表达更流畅，并避免重复形容词。提供更具体细节（拍什么角度、为什么想留念）会更好。

例: Yes, I often take photos when the view is striking. For instance, on my last holiday in Fuzhou I photographed the seaside and the rows of beautiful trees because the light and colors were unforgettable.

提案: 表达要更简洁、句子要语法正确并用连接词衔接理由。避免口语填充词（如“so so”），注意动词时态和主谓一致（“I can see the whole scenery”），并提供更具体感受或比较。

例: I prefer the mountains because hiking gives me good exercise and a sense of achievement. Also, from the summit I can see the whole city and surrounding landscape, which always excites me.

× Well, it depends on the sceneries outside.

✓ Well, it depends on the scenery outside.

“Scenery” 是不可数名词，应使用不可数形式而不是复数形式“sceneries”。量词搭配要注意不可数名词。建议将“sceneries”改为“scenery”。

× For example, if there is a field which is which is full of the animals like sheep, cows, I would like to see them while the journey.

✓ For example, if there is a field which is full of animals like sheep and cows, I would like to see them during the journey.

错误包括复数和多余词：①“the animals”在泛指时不需要定冠词“the”，应为“animals”。②多余重复“which is which is”。③搭配介词“during the journey”比“while the journey”更自然。建议删除重复部分，去掉不必要的定冠词，并把介词改为 during。

× However, if there is nothing just the road, I would like to sleep in the car.

✓ However, if there is nothing but the road, I would like to sleep in the car.

错误在于短语“nothing just the road”表达不自然，正确固定搭配是“nothing but the road”（只有道路）。建议使用固定搭配并保持句子通顺。

× Well, if the scenery is very beautiful and memorable, I would like to take some photos.

✓ Well, if the scenery is very beautiful and memorable, I will take some photos.

在条件句中谈习惯或将来打算时，使用“would”不太合适，尤其是在第二问（一般情况或将来真实情况），更自然用“will”。建议将“would like to take”换为 表示将来意图的“will take”。

× Along the road there was some oceans and beautiful beautiful trees.

✓ Along the road there were some oceans and beautiful trees.

错误包括①“ocean”常用作不可数或指单一大海，复数“oceans”在此情境不太自然；如果指多处海岸可说“seas”或更自然地说“some stretches of coastline”或直接用“the ocean”。但若要保留原意，可改为“there was the ocean”或使用复数时谓语需用“were”。另外重复的“beautiful”应去掉一个。建议改为“there were some seas and beautiful trees” 或更自然“there was the ocean and beautiful trees”。我在此用“were”配合复数并删除重复词。

× So I will take some photos.

✓ So I took some photos.

叙述过去发生的具体事情时应使用过去时。句子前提为“last holiday I went to Fuzhou City”，描述该次经历时动词应与过去时一致，故将“will take”改为过去时“took”。

× Well, I prefer mountains. The first reason is that I can climb them so so I can do more exercise and secondly, standing in the top of the mountain I can say the whole scenery of the city which made me makes me very excited.

✓ Well, I prefer mountains. The first reason is that I can climb them, so I can get more exercise, and secondly, standing on the top of a mountain I can see the whole scenery of the city, which makes me very excited.

该句有多处错误：①“so so”多余重复，应为“so”。②“do more exercise”可改为更自然的“get more exercise”。③短语应为“standing on the top of a mountain”而不是“in”。④“I can say the whole scenery”中动词应为“see”而不是“say”。⑤“which made me makes me very excited”时态和主谓冲突，描述一般感受用现在时“makes”。以上修改统一成现在时表达一般偏好，并修正第三人称单数动词形式和介词。