Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 문법적 오류와 중복이 있습니다. 답변은 직접적 토픽 문장으로 시작하고 2~3개의 구체적인 이유나 예시로 확장하세요. 연결어를 사용해 문장의 흐름을 개선하고 길이는 1~3문장으로 유지하세요. 예를 들어 이유(아름다움), 감정(편안함), 그리고 구체적 상황(버스나 차에서 보는 장면)을 포함해 말하세요.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I find the sea scenery very beautiful. It relaxes me and helps pass the time, especially during long trips when I want something pleasant to watch.

提案: 답변이 단편적이고 의미 전달이 불분명합니다. 먼저 간단한 직답(예/아니오)을 하고, 사진을 찍는 이유와 자주 찍는 장면(예: 해안선, 일몰 등)을 구체적으로 설명하세요. 연결어(if/so/therefore 등)와 완전한 문장을 사용해 논리적으로 말하세요.

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window, especially when I see interesting coastlines or sunsets. I like capturing those moments so I can look back on the views later and share them with friends.

提案: 의도는 전달되지만 문법과 표현이 부정확합니다. 선호를 명확히 말한 뒤 구체적 이유(건강, 운동, 경치)를 자연스러운 문장으로 제시하세요. 과거 경험을 언급할 때는 시제와 어휘를 정확히 사용하고 연결어로 문장을 매끄럽게 연결하세요.

例: I prefer the mountains because hiking is good exercise and helps me stay fit. For example, when I wanted to lose weight a few years ago, regular hikes helped me improve my fitness while enjoying peaceful natural scenery.

× I like sea landscape because it's so beautiful.

✓ I like the sea landscape because it's so beautiful.

You need the definite article 'the' before a specific noun phrase 'sea landscape'. Use 'the' when referring to a particular landscape (the sea landscape you can see). Suggestion: use 'the sea landscape' or simply 'the sea' depending on meaning.

× So when I travel. Two, I must see the landscapes.

✓ So when I travel, I must see the landscapes.

The original has a fragment 'So when I travel.' and an unrelated 'Two,'. Combine into one complete sentence with a comma. Also remove 'Two,' which is inappropriate. Suggestion: connect clauses to form a full sentence: 'So when I travel, I must see the landscapes.'

× Yes I do. I like sea there.

✓ Yes, I do. I like the sea there.

Missing commas and the definite article. Also pronoun 'there' is fine but the noun needs 'the' to indicate a specific sea. Suggestion: 'Yes, I do. I like the sea there.'

× On the other hand, I like. Ensure that landscapes.

✓ On the other hand, I like to make sure I see landscapes.

Original contains fragments and unclear verbs. 'Ensure that landscapes' is ungrammatical. Rephrase to express intention: 'like to make sure I see landscapes' or 'like ensuring I see landscapes.' Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments; include a subject and verb.

× Plus it's so the last thing for me and then it's so nice landscapes.

✓ Also, it's the last thing for me, and the landscapes are so nice.

Word order and articles are incorrect: 'so the last thing' should be 'the last thing' and 'so nice landscapes' needs 'the landscapes are so nice.' Ensure correct article placement and subject-verb agreement. Suggestion: split into two clauses for clarity.

× I prefer mountains because it is so good for me.

✓ I prefer the mountains because they are so good for me.

When referring to mountains in general, use 'the mountains' or plural without article depends on context; also pronoun must agree in number: 'they are' for plural 'mountains'. Suggestion: use 'the mountains' and match verb and pronoun number.

× For example, when I was of fat I must be exercise, but hiking is so very nice exercise, so I like that.

✓ For example, when I was fat I had to exercise, but hiking is a very good exercise, so I like it.

Multiple tense and modal errors: 'was of fat' is incorrect — use 'was fat'. 'Must be exercise' misuses modal and infinitive; past obligation is 'had to exercise'. 'is so very nice exercise' is awkward; use 'a very good exercise'. Pronoun 'that' referring to activity should be 'it'. Suggestion: correct word order, use past tense for past states, and use appropriate articles.