Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more coherent and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and irrelevant details. Use linking words to add one or two specific supporting details (what you like to see and why). Keep answers to no more than five sentences and correct basic grammar (e.g., singular/plural, verb forms).

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching changing landscapes. For example, on my route from Toronto to Brampton I usually notice parks, residential buildings and occasional small farms, which I find relaxing. I also pay attention to interesting architecture because it gives me ideas for photography.

提案: Give a concise direct answer first, then add one or two specific examples of when and why you take photos. Avoid awkward phrases and unclear references (e.g., 'Bing spotlight photos'). Use linking words like 'so' or 'for example' to improve coherence and correct tense and article use.

例: Yes, I sometimes take photos of the scenery when I see something beautiful or unusual. For example, if the sunset looks striking I will take a quick photo and send it to close friends or post it on Snapchat, but I avoid taking pictures while driving to stay safe.

提案: Answer directly which you prefer or explain that you like both, then give clear reasons and specific details for each preference. Avoid repetition and filler words, and correct grammar (e.g., 'both', 'as well'). Use linking words like 'in winter' and 'in summer' to structure the response.

例: I enjoy both, but for different reasons. In winter I prefer the mountains because I love snowy landscapes and hiking in crisp air; in summer I prefer the sea because I enjoy swimming and scuba diving in warm weather.

× Of course, when I'm traveling by bus or car, I usually look different kind of sceneries such as just the parks, mountain views, buildings.

✓ Of course, when I'm traveling by bus or car, I usually look at different kinds of scenery, such as parks, mountain views, and buildings.

The noun 'scenery' is uncountable and does not take a plural form 'sceneries'; use 'scenery' or the countable phrase 'kinds of scenery'. Also 'different kind' should be 'different kinds' to agree with plural 'parks, mountain views, and buildings'. Include the preposition 'at' after 'look'. Use commas to separate items in a list for clarity.

× Actually I'm traveling with Toronto to Brampton.

✓ Actually, I'm traveling from Toronto to Brampton.

The preposition 'with' is incorrect for expressing movement between places; use 'from' to indicate origin. This is a present continuous tense statement describing current travel, so 'I'm traveling from Toronto to Brampton' is appropriate.

× We are trained so that I I saw so many guys.

✓ We were traveling so I saw many people.

Original sentence has unclear structure and repeated words ('I I') and the verb 'trained' is incorrect in context. Likely intended 'traveling'. Tense consistency: if describing past observation, use past tense 'were traveling' and 'saw'. Replace 'guys' with 'people' for formality and clarity.

× Yes, sometimes if I really like the scenery whenever I'm travelling so that I might usually make a Snapchat and send to my friends, to relatives and also unknown persons who are already adding my Snapchat account.

✓ Yes, sometimes if I really like the scenery when I'm traveling, I usually take a Snapchat photo and send it to my friends, relatives, and also to people who have added my Snapchat account.

Use 'when' instead of 'whenever' and remove unnecessary 'so that' to make the clause clear. 'Make a Snapchat' is unnatural; use 'take a Snapchat photo' or 'take a snap'. Use consistent present simple/habitual 'I usually take' and include 'to' before 'people' for parallel structure. 'Unknown persons who are already adding' is incorrect tense and wording; use 'people who have added' for present perfect to show prior action.

× I also sometimes Bing spotlight photos.

✓ I also sometimes use Bing to find spotlight photos.

The original lacks a verb for the intended action. If the speaker means searching with Bing, use 'use Bing to find'. 'Bing spotlight photos' is not a correct noun phrase; clarifying the action and adding the preposition 'to' fixes the structure.

× I usually prefer the both one.

✓ I usually prefer both of them.

'The both one' is ungrammatical. Use 'both of them' to refer to two items. Do not use the definite article 'the' with 'both' in this context.

× I really like to see the mountains and the sea.

✓ I really like seeing both the mountains and the sea.

Original is understandable but more natural to say 'I really like seeing both the mountains and the sea' to emphasize preference for both. Use gerund 'seeing' for general likes.

× During winter I really I really like to see the mountains, the view is very amazing and during summer I really like to see the sea so I can easily go scuba diving as well as.

✓ In winter I really like seeing the mountains because the views are amazing, and in summer I like seeing the sea because I can go scuba diving.

Remove repeated phrase 'I really I really'. Use 'in winter'/'in summer' for seasons. Use plural 'views are' for multiple views. Replace 'so I can easily go scuba diving as well as' with a clear reason clause 'because I can go scuba diving'. Keep tense consistent (present habitual) and simplify for clarity.