Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and coherent: give a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words and incomplete phrases. For example, say why you enjoy looking out (people-watching, changing weather) and mention when or how often you do it. Keep it to 2–4 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I always look out of the window when I travel. I enjoy watching people and seeing how the weather and landscape change, because it makes the journey more interesting. For example, on my commute I often notice street markets and seasonal trees, which helps me feel connected to the places I pass.

提案: Improve clarity and grammar: state your main idea, then give clear reasons and a short example. Use correct verb forms and linking words (because, so, therefore). Also correct misused words (e.g., 'stop' instead of 'stove') and avoid repeating mistakes. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: No, I usually don't take photos while the car is moving because it is unsafe and the photos often turn out blurry. Instead, I wait until we stop at a scenic spot so I can take clear pictures safely.

提案: Give a direct answer followed by specific reasons and one short example. Reduce hesitation and fix grammar (singular/plural, word order). Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to organize your response. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer the mountains because I love trekking and hiking. For example, my husband and I often go on weekend hikes in nearby ranges, which I find refreshing and good exercise.

× Yes, I always look outside because there are.

✓ Yes, I always look outside because there is a lot to see.

The student used 'there are' without a following plural noun. Use 'there is' with 'a lot' (singular expression) or 'there are' followed by a plural noun. Suggestion: say 'there is a lot to see' or 'there are many things to see.'

× I enjoy when I see other people and weather and other outside, yeah.

✓ I enjoy seeing other people, the weather, and other things outside.

The verb 'enjoy' should be followed by a gerund (verb+ing), not 'when I see'. The list 'other people and weather and other outside' is ungrammatical and needs nouns; use 'the weather' and 'other things outside.' Suggestion: use gerund after 'enjoy' and make a parallel list.

× No, I usually don't take photo while I'm moving car because it is unsafe.

✓ No, I usually don't take photos while I'm in a moving car because it is unsafe.

'Take' followed by 'photo' requires plural 'photos' for general statements. 'While I'm moving car' is missing preposition/article; use 'in a moving car.' Also present progressive 'I'm in a moving car' is correct. Suggestion: use plural 'photos' and include 'in a' before 'moving car.'

× The picture often turn on blurry.

✓ The pictures often turn out blurry.

Subject 'picture(s)' and verb must agree: use 'pictures...turn out' or 'the picture often turns out.' 'Turn on' is incorrect in this context; the correct phrasal verb is 'turn out' meaning result. Suggestion: use 'turn out blurry' and match singular/plural.

× Instead I wait until the stove somewhere scenic and they take clear photo with my.

✓ Instead, I wait until we stop somewhere scenic, and then I take clear photos.

This sentence has multiple errors: 'stove' is incorrect word — should be 'stop'; 'they take clear photo with my' is ungrammatical and unclear. Use 'we stop somewhere scenic' and 'I take clear photos.' Also include comma and 'then' for sequence. Suggestion: use correct verb 'stop' and first-person singular 'I take photos.'

× Yeah, I like mount mountains because I I I love trekking so and hiking my favorite.

✓ Yeah, I like mountains because I love trekking and hiking; they are my favorite activities.

'Mount mountains' is wrong; use 'mountains.' Repetition 'I I I' is a speech disfluency and should be removed in writing. 'Hiking my favorite' lacks verb; say 'they are my favorite activities.' Suggestion: remove repetitions, correct noun 'mountains,' and provide a complete predicate for 'favorite.'

× Me and my husband always go for trekking, so I like mountain.

✓ My husband and I always go trekking, so I like mountains.

Use subject pronoun order 'My husband and I' rather than 'Me and my husband.' Use 'go trekking' (no 'for') and plural 'mountains' to match general preference. Suggestion: use subject pronouns in correct order, correct verb phrase, and plural noun for general statements.