Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng hơn, ngắn gọn, ngữ pháp và từ vựng chính xác hơn, tránh lỗi thì và danh từ số ít/ số nhiều. Hãy mở đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trực tiếp, sau đó cung cấp một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể (khi nào, ở đâu, cảm xúc) và dùng liên từ phù hợp. Chú ý chia động từ (I like, I watched), danh từ số nhiều (people, buildings) và chọn tính từ phù hợp (serene thay vì serious nếu bạn muốn nói yên bình).

例: Yes, I always look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, last month during a short stop at Tanghua beach I watched the empty shoreline and small fishing boats, which felt very peaceful and relaxing.

提案: Câu trả lời hơi lặp và thiếu rõ ràng; cần tránh tiếng “uh” và diễn đạt mục đích một cách ngắn gọn. Bắt đầu với câu chủ đề ngắn, rồi nêu 1–2 lý do cụ thể (ví dụ: lưu giữ kỷ niệm, chia sẻ lên mạng xã hội) và dùng liên từ để liên kết ý. Dùng cấu trúc đúng (that makes me feel amazed) và tránh lặp từ như “this scenery” quá nhiều.

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window. I do this to keep memories of places that amaze me and to share the best shots with my friends on social media.

提案: Câu trả lời thiếu cấu trúc rõ ràng, nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và ý không hoàn chỉnh. Trả lời nên bắt đầu trực tiếp (I prefer the mountains), sau đó giải thích bằng 1–2 lý do cụ thể (ví dụ: thích leo núi, khám phá, không khí trong lành). Dùng thì và đại từ đúng (I really like, my favorite hobby is hiking) và tránh liệt kê lộn xộn.

例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and exploring new trails. The fresh air and challenging terrain give me a sense of adventure and relaxation.

× Absolutely. I'm the kind of person who really like to experience stunning scenery.

✓ Absolutely. I'm the kind of person who really likes to experience stunning scenery.

Subject-verb agreement: 'who' refers to 'I' so verb must agree with third-person singular of 'to like' in relative clauses: 'likes'. Suggestion: use 'likes' after 'who' when referring to a singular person.

× Example, when I have a short break in a beach at Tanghua, I have watch out the window and I can't see people and building.

✓ For example, when I have a short break on a beach at Tanghua, I watch out the window and I can see people and buildings.

Multiple errors: 'Example' should be 'For example' (phrase), 'in a beach' incorrect preposition/article — use 'on a beach' or 'at the beach'; 'I have watch' is ungrammatical — use simple present 'I watch' for habitual action; 'I can't see people and building' wrong polarity and noun form — should be positive 'I can see' and plural 'buildings'. Suggestion: use correct preposition 'on', simple present for habits, and plural nouns when necessary.

× It's very beautiful and serious.

✓ It's very beautiful and serene.

Word choice error: 'serious' is not appropriate to describe scenery; 'serene' or 'majestic' fits. Suggestion: choose adjectives that suit the meaning of peaceful or striking scenery.

× Yes, because I want to, uh, save the memories of the beautiful scenery that make me feel very amazed and I want to keep this scenery and promote this scenery to uh.

✓ Yes, because I want to save the memories of the beautiful scenery that make me feel amazed, and I want to keep and share these views.

Problems: unnecessary filler 'uh' removed; 'make me feel very amazed' is wordy — 'make me feel amazed' or 'amaze me'; 'promote this scenery to' incomplete—'share' or 'promote the scenery to others'. Also 'scenery' is uncountable so 'these views' may be clearer. Suggestion: use concise verbs and complete the object of 'promote' or replace with 'share'.

× I prefer the boat, mountains and the sea, but I prefer the mountains more because I'm a person who really like to have a thirst for adventure and one I see mountains my favorite my hobbies is.

✓ I prefer boats, mountains, and the sea, but I prefer the mountains most because I'm a person who really likes adventure; when I see mountains they become my favorite place for my hobbies.

Multiple structural problems: list items should be parallel and plural ('boats'); repetition 'prefer' redundant—use 'prefer the mountains most'; subject-verb agreement 'who really like' -> 'who really likes'; odd phrase 'have a thirst for adventure' can be simplified to 'likes adventure'; fragment 'one I see mountains my favorite my hobbies is' is unclear—rewritten as 'when I see mountains they become my favorite place for my hobbies.' Suggestion: make lists parallel, fix agreement, and rewrite fragments into complete clauses.