Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler sounds like “umm” and correct verb forms (we travel, I travel).

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by car because the countryside scenery is beautiful. For example, I enjoy watching farmland and small villages pass by, which helps me relax during long journeys.

提案: Give a direct answer and then provide specific examples of what you photograph. Use correct noun phrases (riverside, mountains) and link ideas logically. Remove hesitations and avoid vague phrases like “natural amazing creation.”

例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window. For instance, I have many pictures of mountain ranges, riversides and fields, especially when the light makes the landscape look dramatic.

提案: Answer directly and give clear reasons with correct grammar and fewer repetitions. Use linking words to explain why and include a short personal example. Fix repetitions and articles (the east coast of Taiwan).

例: I prefer the sea because I rarely see it while living in the city, so visiting the coast feels special. For example, when I visit Taiwan’s east coast I enjoy walking on the beach and listening to the waves, which helps me unwind.

× Yes, as this is what we do when we traveling by our car.

✓ Yes, this is what we do when we are traveling by our car.

The sentence needs the present continuous form 'are traveling' for 'we' to show an ongoing action. The original used 'traveling' without the auxiliary verb 'are', which is incorrect for present continuous. Use 'we are traveling' to form the correct progressive tense. Suggestion: include the appropriate auxiliary (am/is/are) before the -ing verb for present continuous.

× Umm, because the scenery is beautiful and is amazing.

✓ Umm, because the scenery is beautiful and amazing.

Using 'is' twice is redundant. Adjectives describing the same noun should be joined without repeating the verb 'is'. Combine adjectives with 'and' after a single 'is' or omit the second 'is'. Suggestion: say 'the scenery is beautiful and amazing' or 'the scenery is beautiful, amazing'.

× So if I don't enjoy the view during the trip it is.

✓ So if I don't enjoy the view during the trip, it feels disappointing.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear: 'it is' has no clear complement. A full clause is needed to convey the feeling or consequence. Replace with a clear result or feeling such as 'it feels disappointing' or 'I feel bored'. Suggestion: complete the clause with a descriptive complement (e.g., 'it feels disappointing').

× Yes, in fact in my photo library there are many like.

✓ Yes, in fact there are many in my photo library.

The phrase 'many like' is ungrammatical. 'Many' should directly modify a noun or be followed by 'of' plus a noun. Placing 'in my photo library' after 'many' is clearer: 'there are many in my photo library' or 'I have many photos in my photo library.' Suggestion: specify the noun after 'many' or restructure the sentence.

× The wind, the mountain and the Riverside of the photos.

✓ They include photos of the wind, mountains, and the riverside.

Original is a fragment listing nouns without a verb. Turn it into a full sentence by adding a verb and making the nouns plural or appropriate. Also 'Riverside' should be lowercase and 'mountains' plural for general reference. Suggestion: use a verb like 'include' and pluralize nouns as needed.

× Umm, I think this is the natural amazing creation.

✓ Umm, I think this is an amazingly natural creation.

Word order and choice are awkward: 'natural amazing' is incorrect collocation. Use an adverb to modify an adjective ('amazingly natural') or reverse order 'natural and amazing'. Also include an article 'a' before the noun 'creation'. Suggestion: choose correct adjective order or use an adverb ('an amazingly natural creation' or 'a natural and amazing creation').

× I prefer the sea since I live in the city, I can see see that much that often.

✓ I prefer the sea because I live in the city and I cannot see it that often.

Multiple issues: repeated 'see', incorrect clause connector 'since' and punctuation, and wrong phrase 'see that much that often'. The intended meaning is inability to see the sea often. Use 'cannot see it that often' and connect clauses properly with 'because' or 'since' with correct comma usage. Suggestion: remove duplication, use correct connector and negative modal 'cannot' for inability.

× So I like sea more than mountains.

✓ So I like the sea more than the mountains.

When talking about general categories of geographic features, use the definite article 'the' before 'sea' and 'mountains'. Also 'sea' could be 'the sea' to refer generally. This fixes article usage and makes the comparison clear. Suggestion: include 'the' before generalized nouns like 'sea' and 'mountains'.

× And if I went to the coast like the Taiwan's east side, I love to.

✓ And if I go to the coast, like Taiwan's east side, I would love it.

The conditional structure is mixed and incorrect: 'if I went' suggests second conditional which should pair with 'I would love it' (not 'I love to'). Also 'the Taiwan's east side' is incorrect article use; use 'Taiwan's east side' or 'the east coast of Taiwan'. Suggestion: choose correct conditional form: for hypothetical use 'If I went... I would...', or for real possibility 'If I go... I will/ would love it.' Also correct the noun phrase to 'Taiwan's east side' or 'the east coast of Taiwan'.