Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more clear, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid irrelevant or confusing phrases (e.g. "my car if I am driving on airplane"). Use linking words (for example, "also" or "for example") to connect ideas and keep responses within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I especially enjoy watching passing buildings and countryside because they relax me and make the trip feel shorter. For example, when I take a long bus ride I like to notice changes in the landscape and small local shops along the road.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and provide specific, relevant reasons. Use concise sentences and correct word choice (e.g. "Snapchat" not "this time is of Snapchat"). Avoid repetition ("pictures and photos"). Use linking words like "because" or "for example" to organize supporting details and mention one or two typical examples only.

例: Yes, I often take photos when I see an interesting scene outside the window. For example, I like to photograph bridges, forests or historic buildings because they look good on my social media and remind me of the trip. I also sometimes record short videos to share with friends.

提案: Answer directly and give concrete reasons and examples. Avoid irrelevant or informal filler words (e.g. "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious") and aim for natural vocabulary. Use linking words ("because", "for example", "also") and keep to 2–4 well-structured sentences that explain why you prefer mountains and what activities you enjoy there.

例: I prefer the mountains to the sea because I enjoy hiking and outdoor activities there. For example, I like walking on trails, having barbecues with friends and taking photographs of the views. These activities lift my mood and make mountain trips more fun for me.

× Well that's really nice question.

✓ Well, that's a really nice question.

Missing article 'a' before 'really nice question' and missing comma after interjection; phrase should be 'a really nice question'. Add comma after 'Well' to separate the introductory word.

× I really love to see outside of my window.

✓ I really love looking out of my window.

Use of 'love to see' is awkward; after 'love' both 'to infinitive' and '-ing' are possible but 'looking out of my window' is more natural. Also 'see outside of my window' is incorrect preposition order; use 'out of' or better 'out of my window' or 'out my window'.

× Whenever I tell I always keep sit quietly and my car if I am driving on airplane.

✓ Whenever I travel I always sit quietly in the car, and I do the same when I'm on an airplane.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Whenever I tell' is incorrect — likely 'travel'. 'keep sit' is wrong; correct is 'sit'. Preposition for being inside a vehicle is 'in the car'. Use 'when I'm on an airplane' for plane travel. Sentence restructured for clarity.

× If either I am going to by bus or taking motorcycle even, I always look at the outside areas I really love and enjoy.

✓ Whether I am going by bus or riding a motorcycle, I always look at the scenery outside because I really enjoy it.

Use 'going by bus' and 'riding a motorcycle' rather than 'going to by bus' and 'taking motorcycle'. 'Either...or' replaced by 'whether' for clarity. 'Look at the outside areas' is awkward; use 'look at the scenery outside'. Added conjunction and punctuation for readability.

× I like them very much.

✓ I like it very much.

Refers to 'scenery' which is uncountable/singular, so the pronoun should be 'it' rather than 'them'.

× Yes, as this time is of Snapchat, so it's really important to take snap of every second otherwise you lost your streak.

✓ Yes, since Snapchat is popular now, it's really important to take a snap of every moment; otherwise you lose your streak.

'this time is of Snapchat' is ungrammatical; use 'Snapchat is popular now' or 'these days'. 'take snap' needs article 'a snap'. 'every second' is hyperbolic — 'every moment' is more natural. Tense consistency: use present 'lose' instead of past 'lost'.

× So I always take pictures and photos and name it, capture videos.

✓ So I always take pictures and videos and caption them.

Redundant 'pictures and photos' should be simplified. 'name it' is unclear; use 'caption them'. 'capture videos' is fine but 'videos' used with 'take' is smoother.

× If there is a beautiful scene, specially when it bridge or trees or forest or big malls or buildings or any historical place, I definitely go for pictures and videos and post it through my social media accounts.

✓ If there is a beautiful scene, especially when it is a bridge, trees, a forest, big malls, buildings, or any historical place, I definitely take pictures and videos and post them on my social media accounts.

Use 'especially' not 'specially'. Need the verb 'is' after 'it' and articles before singular nouns ('a bridge', 'a forest'). Use plural pronoun 'them' to match 'pictures and videos'. Preposition 'on' is correct for posting on social media, not 'through'.

× I am a modern person.

✓ I consider myself a modern person.

While 'I am a modern person' is grammatically acceptable, 'consider myself' is more natural speech. This is a stylistic suggestion rather than strict grammar, but improves clarity.

× I really like mountains instead of seas, and I prefer always mountains because mountains are like amazing, you know?

✓ I really prefer mountains to the sea, and I always choose the mountains because they are amazing.

Use 'prefer X to Y' rather than 'instead of'. 'Seas' vs 'the sea' — use singular 'the sea' as a general concept. 'Prefer always mountains' should be 'always prefer the mountains' or 'always choose the mountains'. Pronoun agreement: 'mountains... they are'. 'are like amazing' is informal; use 'are amazing'.

× It's really supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and it makes me feel happy.

✓ It's amazing and it makes me feel happy.

Using 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious' is playful but not appropriate for a formal test; replace with 'amazing'. Grammatically 'really amazing' is fine if emphasis is desired.

× There also a lot of ways to do hiking, to barbecue, to enjoy in my dance instead of just standing on the sea.

✓ There are also many ways to go hiking, have a barbecue, or enjoy dancing, instead of just standing by the sea.

Missing verb 'are' after 'there'. Use 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for formality. 'to do hiking' -> 'go hiking'; 'to barbecue' -> 'have a barbecue' or 'barbecue'; 'enjoy in my dance' is ungrammatical — 'enjoy dancing'. 'standing on the sea' is incorrect preposition; 'standing by the sea' or 'on the beach' is correct.