Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar, and add one specific detail. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), and limit to 2–3 sentences. Use a linking word for a reason or example.

例: Yes, I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I find the changing landscape very relaxing. For example, I enjoy watching trees and small towns pass by, which helps me unwind.

提案: Improve grammar and repetition, use varied vocabulary, and keep sentences within the 5-sentence limit. Use linking words to group ideas (for instance, however, and) and give a clear example of when you take photos or videos.

例: Yes, I often take photos and sometimes record videos, especially at sunrise or sunset when the light is dramatic. For instance, I recently filmed a river at dusk because the reflections were striking.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then briefly explain with specific activities and a linking word. Correct minor grammar issues (use plural consistently and avoid redundant phrases). Keep it natural and within 2–3 sentences.

例: I like both, but if I had to choose I would pick the sea because I love swimming and relaxing on the beach. However, I also enjoy hiking in the mountains for the fresh air and scenic views.

× Yes, it's one of my favorite part whenever I travel, whether it's bus or a car, it just makes me feel, uh, comfort and just enjoying the view.

✓ Yes, it's one of my favorite parts whenever I travel; whether I'm on a bus or in a car, it just makes me feel comfortable and enjoy the view.

Plural noun required: 'one of my favorite part' should be 'one of my favorite parts' because 'one of' is followed by a plural noun (ID 1). Also corrected related issues that match other allowed types: prepositions 'on a bus' and 'in a car' (ID 11), adjective/adverb 'comfortable' vs 'comfort' (ID 13), and verb form 'enjoy' instead of 'just enjoying' to fit sentence structure (ID 26). Suggestions: use 'one of my favorite parts', use correct prepositions with transport ('on a bus'/'in a car'), use 'feel comfortable' and pair verbs in parallel form ('feel comfortable and enjoy').

× I usually take photos during sunset and sunrise and whenever I pass some beautiful sceneries like beautiful mountains, beautiful rivers and other beautiful scenery, I took videos on it.

✓ I usually take photos at sunset and sunrise, and whenever I pass some beautiful scenery like mountains and rivers, I take videos of it.

Incorrect noun form 'sceneries' and awkward repetition corrected using uncountable 'scenery' or plural 'scenery items' (ID 1). Preposition use corrected: 'during sunset' -> 'at sunset' and 'videos on it' -> 'videos of it' (ID 11). Tense consistency: 'I took videos' changed to 'I take videos' to match habitual present (ID 6). Also simplified redundant adjectives. Suggestion: use 'at sunset/sunrise', use 'scenery' (uncountable) or 'scenic places', and keep consistent present tense for habitual actions.

× That's a hard question for me because I personally like both since I'm into mountains and sea.

✓ That's a hard question for me because I personally like both since I'm into both mountains and the sea.

Missing parallelism and article with 'sea'; 'sea' here should be 'the sea' to refer to the sea generally (ID 17). Also clarified parallel structure by adding 'both' before 'mountains and the sea' (ID 26). Suggestion: ensure parallel structure when listing items and use 'the sea' when speaking generally about the sea.

× I prefer swimming in the ocean and sometimes I like to hike in the mountain and just to have that beautiful breeze up in the mountains.

✓ I prefer swimming in the ocean, and sometimes I like to hike in the mountains to enjoy the beautiful breeze up there.

Article and singular/plural problems: 'hike in the mountain' should be 'hike in the mountains' because 'mountains' is the natural plural reference (ID 1, ID 17). Redundant phrasing 'just to have that beautiful breeze up in the mountains' simplified to 'to enjoy the beautiful breeze up there' for naturalness and correct adverb placement (ID 20, ID 26). Suggestion: use plural 'mountains' and simplify phrases for clarity; prefer 'enjoy the breeze up there'.