Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Good natural answer and clear reason. To improve, make sentences shorter (max 5), use one strong topic sentence then 1–2 supporting details with linking words, correct small grammar (use singular/plural and articles), and avoid redundancy ("beautiful" repeated). Try: one topic sentence + reason + brief example.

例: Yes — I usually look out the window when travelling by car because it helps me relax and I enjoy the changing views. For example, on long journeys I watch different gardens and houses we pass, which makes the trip feel less monotonous.

提案: Clear idea but slightly repetitive and a bit wordy. Improve by using a concise topic sentence and a specific example, add a linking phrase and correct tense/word choice ("you have been to" → "I have been to"). Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "capture" instead of repeated "beautiful").

例: Yes, I often take photos through the window to capture memorable views. For example, I photographed a colourful garden last month; looking at the picture reminds me of that visit.

提案: Good content with details, but improve sentence structure, grammar and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense errors ("visit the waterfalls last week" → "visited a waterfall last week") and remove redundant words ("trees and bushes").

例: I prefer the mountains because they feel more adventurous and peaceful. For example, I hiked last week to a waterfall and saw different plants and some wildlife, which made me feel relaxed.

× Yes, I often look out the window when traveling by car because I want to see the beautiful sceneries outside and also it helps me relax and breaks the monotony of traveling especially long journey.

✓ Yes, I often look out the window when traveling by car because I want to see the beautiful scenery outside, and it also helps me relax and break the monotony of travel, especially on long journeys.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun, so use singular form 'scenery' instead of 'sceneries'. Parallel verbs after 'helps me' should be base form 'relax and break' not 'relax and breaks'. Use 'travel' (uncountable) or 'traveling' consistently; 'travel' is fine here. Include the preposition 'on' before 'long journeys' and pluralize 'journey' to 'journeys' when speaking generally. Suggestion: Learn uncountable nouns and keep verb forms parallel after 'helps'.

× Yes, I love capturing the beautiful landscapes or mountains and I think taking photographs will make a good memory of the place that you have been to.

✓ Yes, I love capturing beautiful landscapes and mountains, and I think taking photographs will create good memories of places I have been to.

'Make a good memory' is not idiomatic; use 'create good memories'. 'The place that you have been to' shifts person; keep speaker perspective: 'places I have been to'. Also pluralize 'memory/memories' to match 'photographs' and 'places'. Suggestion: Maintain consistent subject perspective and use natural collocations like 'create memories'.

× For example, when I take a picture of a beautiful garden, it reminds me that I was once there.

✓ For example, when I take a picture of a beautiful garden, it reminds me that I was there.

The phrase 'was once there' is awkward after 'reminds me' and repeats past notion; 'was there' is sufficient. Keep tense consistent: present simple 'take' with present simple 'reminds' and past 'was' for the memory. Remove 'once' which is unnecessary. Suggestion: Use concise phrasing and ensure temporal words are necessary.

× I prefer to go to the mountains because I think it's more fun and full of adventure.

✓ I prefer going to the mountains because I think they are more fun and full of adventure.

Use gerund 'going' after 'prefer' when comparing activities. 'Mountains' is plural, so refer to them with 'they are' rather than 'it's'. Suggestion: Use 'prefer + -ing' for general preferences and match pronouns to plural nouns.

× Whenever I hike through the mountains, I often see a lot of different plants and trees and bushes and sometimes wild animals.

✓ Whenever I hike through the mountains, I often see many different plants, trees, bushes, and sometimes wild animals.

Reduce repetitive 'and' by using commas in a list. Use 'many' rather than 'a lot of' with countable plural nouns. This improves fluency and clarity. Suggestion: Use comma-separated lists and choose appropriate quantifiers.

× For example, when I visit the waterfalls last week, I was so happy that feel relaxed.

✓ For example, when I visited the waterfalls last week, I was so happy and felt relaxed.

The time marker 'last week' requires past tense 'visited' not present 'visit'. After 'was so happy', the verb should be past 'felt' and include 'and' to connect the feelings. The original sentence had wrong tense and a missing conjunction. Suggestion: Match verb tense to time markers and connect clauses properly with conjunctions.