Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repeating phrases and use a linking word for cohesion.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes like fields and small villages because they help me relax and pass the time.

提案: Remove hesitations and redundancy. Use one concise reason with a linking word and a specific example of what you photograph. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often take photos and short videos when I travel because I like to look back at the scenery later. For instance, I usually photograph wildflowers and mountain views to remember the trip.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and follow with one or two specific reasons. Avoid unclear phrases and filler words. Use linking words (e.g., because, however) to structure your response.

例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and the fresh air. For example, I like trails with varied views and quiet spots where I can relax and take photos.

× Yes, I like to look out the window while I'm travelling because I like to look out at the nature of the road.

✓ Yes, I like to look out the window while I'm travelling because I like to look at the scenery along the road.

The phrase 'look out at the nature of the road' is unnatural and uses 'nature' improperly. Replace with the noun 'scenery' and use the preposition 'along' to indicate location. Also remove the redundant 'out' after 'look' when paired with 'at'. Improve wording for natural English.

× Yes, I do take a lot of videos, photos when I'm traveling and because I like to look out, uh, look at it after I came back from traveling and see how beautiful, uh, the nature is.

✓ Yes, I take a lot of videos and photos when I'm traveling because I like to look at them after I come back from a trip and see how beautiful the scenery is.

This sentence mixes past ('came back') and present habitual context. Use present tense 'come back' to match the habitual action introduced by 'I take' and 'when I'm traveling'. Also change 'do take' to simple 'take' for natural emphasis, replace 'look out, uh, look at it' with 'look at them' (referring to photos/videos), and replace 'the nature' with 'the scenery' for natural phrasing.

× Oh, that's a tough question because I really like both, but I would see, I love to see more because it's called, it's helped me to come and especially where there's a lot of ways, it's just so beautiful scenario.

✓ Oh, that's a tough question because I really like both, but I prefer the mountains because they help me relax, and places with many winding paths have very beautiful scenery.

Original sentence is unclear with fragmented and incorrect expressions ('I would see, I love to see more', 'it's called, it's helped me to come', 'a lot of ways'). Recast to a clear, grammatical response: state a preference ('prefer the mountains'), give a reason ('help me relax'), and describe the landscape correctly ('places with many winding paths', 'beautiful scenery'). This fixes sentence structure and word choice errors.