Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 总体回答能表达意思，但有碎片化句子和冗余。建议：1) 开门见山用一到两句完整的主题句直接回答问题；2) 用1–2句连贯的支持句说明原因或举例，避免断句和重复；3) 控制在最多五句，并使用连接词（for example, because, so）以增强连贯性。具体练习：把零散短句合并为流畅句子，并在句子间使用连接词。

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because it helps me pass the time and relax. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes and people going about their day, which makes long journeys feel shorter.

提案: 回答清晰且内容具体，但有一处不完整短句（"Like sunset."）和时态小问题。建议：1) 将零碎句子合并，保持时态一致（一般现在时或现在完成时）；2) 可以补充一两句说明何时或如何拍照（用手机或相机）以增加细节；3) 使用连接词（especially, because, so）使语流更自然。

例: Yes, I definitely take photos through the car window, especially when I see stunning scenery like a sunset. I usually use my phone to capture those moments because they help me remember the trip and I often share the best photos with friends.

提案: 回答表达了偏好和原因，但存在句子碎片和语法不完整（"so I'm used to.", "Fresh seafood.", "Because of that,").建议：1) 用完整句概述偏好并给出具体原因；2) 使用连接词（so, therefore, because）把原因和结果连贯起来；3) 提供一两个具体场景或例子（例如去海边做什么）以增加内容深度。

例: I prefer the sea because I grew up in a coastal city and love fresh seafood, such as grilled fish and shrimp. Therefore I often go to the seaside to relax, enjoy the view, and eat my favourite dishes.

× Yes, I do, I think. It's really helpful for me. To pass the boring time. In the bus or car? And I can enjoy the beautiful scenery outside the window.

✓ Yes, I do. I think it's really helpful to pass the time on the bus or in the car, and I can enjoy the beautiful scenery outside the window.

原句存在片段句和句子衔接不当的问题（句子结构错误）。“To pass the boring time.” 和 “In the bus or car?” 不是完整句子，且词序和介词使用不当。应将信息合并为完整句，使用不定式短语“to pass the time”表示打发时间，并把地点短语放在合适位置“on the bus or in the car”。此外用连词“and”连接并列句，使表达更连贯。建议练习将短片段合并为完整句，并注意介词搭配（on the bus, in the car）。

× Yes, definitely. I love taking photos through the car window, especially when I see stunning scenery. Like sunset.

✓ Yes, definitely. I love taking photos through the car window, especially when I see stunning scenery, like a sunset.

原句片段“Like sunset.” 不是完整句，且冠词缺失。应把这部分并入前句，用逗号连接并在“sunset”前加不定冠词“a sunset”表示“一次日落/日落景象”。此外保持动名词结构“taking photos”正确使用。建议避免单独使用片段句，将补充说明并入主句，并注意可数名词前的冠词。

× Capturing those moments made me feel a sense of accomplishment because I can keep the memory and share it with others.

✓ Capturing those moments makes me feel a sense of accomplishment because I can keep the memories and share them with others.

原句时态混用：开头用过去式“made”，后半句用现在时“can”，造成时态不一致。此处描述一般事实或习惯性感受，应使用一般现在时“makes”。另外“memory”为可数名词，应使用复数“memories”，并且“share it with others”中的代词应与前文复数匹配为“share them with others”。建议保持句子时态一致，并注意名词单复数及代词指代一致。

× I prefer the sea. I've lived in the coastal city for 22 years, so I'm used to. Fresh seafood.

✓ I prefer the sea. I've lived in a coastal city for 22 years, so I'm used to fresh seafood.

原句存在不完整句和时态/结构问题。“so I'm used to.” 后面缺少宾语，造成片段句，应接宾语短语“fresh seafood”。另外“the coastal city”如果泛指可改为“a coastal city”；若特指某城市则可保留“the”，但常用表达为“a coastal city”。建议将“used to”后跟名词或动名词，避免独立句片段，并注意冠词使用。

× And I really enjoy dishes like grilled fish and shrimp. Because of that, I often go to the seaside to relax and eat my favorite food.

✓ I really enjoy dishes like grilled fish and shrimp. Because of that, I often go to the seaside to relax and eat my favorite foods.

原句开头使用连词“And”接续正式回答显得口语化，可直接开始句子以更连贯；“Because of that”引出结果句可以保留，但前一句应完整。名词“food”在此处指多种食物时用复数“foods”或保留单数“food”也可，但为了与“dishes”对应，建议用复数“favorite foods”。此外注意句子衔接，使因果关系更清晰。建议写作时避免句子碎片化，保持句子完整并注意名词单复数一致。