Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Perbaiki tata bahasa dasar dan hilangkan pengulangan. Gunakan kalimat topik jelas, lalu tambahkan satu atau dua detail pendukung yang relevan dengan kata penghubung. Contoh kesalahan: pengulangan kata (using using), struktur tenses, artikel (the window), dan kalimat yang tidak selesai. Latihan spesifik: latih kalimat topik tunggal (I like looking out of the window when I travel), lalu tambahkan alasan singkat dengan linking word (because / as) dan contoh singkat.

例: I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or train because it helps me relax. For example, I enjoy watching the changing landscapes and seeing small towns pass by, which makes the journey more interesting.

提案: Perbaiki pemilihan kata dan konsistensi jumlah kata benda (singular/plural) serta hilangkan pengulangan. Buat satu kalimat topik diikuti oleh detail spesifik dan alasan menggunakan linking word seperti because atau so. Contoh perbaikan: gabungkan ide menjadi kalimat yang lebih ringkas dan gunakan kata benda jamak bila perlu (photos, wallpapers). Latihan: jelaskan kapan Anda mengambil foto dan bagaimana Anda menggunakannya.

例: Yes, I often take photos when the scenery looks particularly beautiful because I like saving those views. I usually use the best shots as wallpapers on my phone or computer so I can remember the places I saw.

提案: Hindari pengulangan frasa dan perbaiki tata bahasa (subject-verb agreement, artikel). Buat struktur: pernyataan topik singkat, alasan dengan linking word, dan contoh singkat atau hasil. Contoh kesalahan: "it give me relax" seharusnya "it relaxes me". Latihan: gunakan satu atau dua alasan spesifik dan tutup dengan contoh aktivitas di pegunungan.

例: I prefer the mountains because the fresh air and peaceful surroundings help me relax. For example, hiking in the mountains clears my mind and reduces stress much more than a noisy beach for me.

× Yes, of course I like to see at the window when I traveling using using bus or train because it looks like the my way to escape from boring umm.

✓ Yes, of course I like to look out of the window when I travel by bus or train because it feels like my way to escape from boredom.

You used incorrect prepositions and forms: 'see at the window' should be 'look out of the window' (correct preposition and verb collocation). 'I traveling' is wrong form; use simple present 'I travel' for habitual action. 'using using bus or train' is redundant and should be 'by bus or train' (preposition 'by' is used for transport). 'looks like the my way' has article error and word order; use 'feels like my way'. 'boring' is an adjective but the noun 'boredom' fits here. Suggestion: practice verb + preposition collocations (look out of, travel by) and use simple present for routines.

× So I would like to sit on the window seat rather than the.

✓ So I would like to sit in the window seat rather than in the aisle seat.

The sentence is incomplete and has wrong preposition: 'sit on the window seat' is acceptable in some dialects but 'sit in the window seat' is more common. The phrase 'rather than the.' is unfinished; compare explicitly with 'the aisle seat' or 'standing'. Suggestion: always complete comparative structures 'rather than + noun' and use correct prepositions for seats.

× Yes, of course I take the photo when the scenery is good.

✓ Yes, of course I take photos when the scenery is nice.

Use plural 'photos' when referring to the general action of taking pictures. 'the photo' implies a single picture; in habitual context plural is natural. Also 'good' is acceptable but 'nice' is more natural collocation with scenery. Suggestion: use plural nouns for habitual/multiple actions.

× I love to check the natural scenery.

✓ I love checking the natural scenery.

Both 'love to check' and 'love checking' are grammatical, but 'love checking' is more natural here. The issue identified is verb form consistency: use gerund after 'love' for general preference. Suggestion: prefer gerund for activities enjoyed generally.

× It's really beautiful and I can use them to to use as my wallpaper in my phone or my desktop.

✓ It's really beautiful and I can use them as wallpapers on my phone or desktop.

Pronoun 'them' refers to 'scenery' (uncountable) or 'photos' (plural); here it should refer to 'photos' which is plural—so 'them' is okay but sentence had redundancy 'to to use' and wrong preposition 'in my phone or my desktop'. Use 'as wallpapers on my phone or desktop.' Also use plural 'wallpapers' for multiple images. Suggestion: remove duplicate words and use correct prepositions 'on' for devices.

× I prefer the mountain because it give me relax and the air is so fresh so it would help me to release my stress.

✓ I prefer the mountains because they give me relaxation and the air is so fresh, so it helps me relieve my stress.

Use plural 'mountains' when speaking generally. 'it give' is subject-verb disagreement; use 'they give'. 'give me relax' is incorrect; use 'give me relaxation' or 'help me relax'. 'would help me to release my stress' is awkward; use 'helps me relieve my stress.' Suggestion: match plural subject with plural verb, use correct noun forms ('relaxation') or verb phrases ('help me relax'), and prefer simple present for general truths.

× That's why, that's because that's it.

✓ That's why.

This is repetitive and ungrammatical; multiple fragments convey the same meaning. Keep a single clear expression 'That's why.' Suggestion: avoid redundant fillers and keep concise answers.

× That's why I love mountain more than the sea.

✓ That's why I love the mountains more than the sea.

Use plural 'mountains' or 'the mountain' with article; comparative structure 'love X more than Y' is fine but 'mountain' should be plural 'mountains' to match earlier sentence. Also include 'the' if referring to a specific entity. Suggestion: maintain consistent noun forms and articles when making comparisons.